A Decade and a Half

After 3 days in the car and a mad dash to get our marriage license, the thing I wanted most in the world was to be spotted and photographed. Yay! Family Paparazzi caught me like this

Diana Lambert
August 18, 1995

What I really wanted was to curl up with my best friend and do all that girlie wedding stuff - crammed into 24 hours! Someone was listening! In the happiest of mix-ups, the Jenner Wedding block of rooms was in one tower with Mr & Mrs Jenner in the second tower - with Christine and Mark across the hall!! ♥ We got all funked up and watched Pulp Fiction as our bachelor parties. We smoked cigarettes in the hallway & cried. Like this

And once we found the hot-pink brothel chapel,  then I was a bride, like this

The last moment alone...

And Christine was a maid of honor, on her honor, in my dress, like this

That dress is HOT!

Someone, somewhen, slipped me some alcohol. Tis the only explanation I have for pictures like this

Me & My Daddy

Someone musta slipped some to Mitch, too, as he's dancing with his wife, like this

I swear

Which is the kind of dance he got in trouble for at Disneyland. They want you to dance like this

Now you know.

We did (our first) wedding cake, like this

And we kissed like this

A Lot! ♥

It just came to me...

I was responding to a post at AlwaysLearing & suddenly it became a vision statement about Mitch's mother... It deserves more exploration than the list is intended for, and perfectly in line with what this blog is for...

I guess I'm also looking for ways to attempt to repair my relationship with her as well. I've never had a good relationship with her personally because I march to a different drummer (her words) and I've been unpredictable in that sense.
__,_._,___

I'm at this kind of precipice-as-it-were with my MIL. I want to have a good relationship with her, especially as a gateway to my dead husband's family for my son. She doesn't get *me* let alone any feel-good, weird schtuff I'm doing to her only grandkids. I'm coming round to realize she still needs *us* - as a gateway to her dead son's family. It's a pretty important role, I'm only coming to realize as Hayden gets older and older before my eyes, to be grandmother to Mitch's kid. She deserves a chance to honor Hayden in her own way, as the kid he is, on whatever terms the two of them come up with.
And well, I sure thought her son was cool enough to marry and replicate, twice even!, so ya'd think I'd find something or other I'd like about his mother, too. I happen to think that Mitch picking me for the same things gives me a pretty dang good standing in her mind, too.
We've dealt with our years of pain in very different ways. Just as we once came together over a love of Mitch, I believe we can come together over a love of Hayden. We don't need to be the same, or even like one another's differences, to love the same person. She is awfully nice; misdirected and still awfully nice.
The unschooling thing, should become less and less of an issue as their topics of conversation mature and the focus of the relating becomes human to human instead of child to old person. Our way works for us and it's apparent. Hayden's easy to talk to, interesting and intelligent. His grandmother can figure that one out herself. Given the proper chance and channels.
It's up to me, I suppose, to get that set up. It's obvious I can hop in a car and get to LA without much problem ;) Her house is even an hour and a half closer than Spaceland & James.

Phate hosted my Birthday Party

The Gifts of the Universe are constantly rewarding the Joy of Existence.
I'm prone to being constantly grateful ♥ Today, in communing with my friends, speaking of our other friends, noticing how wholeistic our relationships are, I stand in Awesome Gratitude. As Hayden shifts from his static I'm Bored state, to entertained by and soon entertaining of his surrounding friends. The sense of family, of working toward the benefit of the whole - person, group, community - in an instant of kindness and joy.
This really is my life. After 40 years of existence and human experience as diana, it truly is the tiniest examples of peace that warm my heart. That is the light I'd like to spend the next 40 years sparking in others.
I know the moment the momentum shifted... that day I wrote about shifting my own perspective and willing myself onto a happier place on Life's Lake. That opening for Joy, the acceptance that Joy is waiting for me to answer it's call, the knowledge that indeed I am worthy of Great Joy, truly opened my Eyes to the Wonderful that is My Life. I have found a theme song for this quickening - Bubbles. The hook of this song is I'm Alive. I spent days in tribal family with hundreds of people who all celebrated, in their very own way, the true meaning of I'm Alive. It was whirly, swirly reinforcement of Life's Joys and the folks who are here to support you in Singing your Heart's Song. I'm Alive.The Conference Euphoria seemed never to leave... The Brits came by to bowl with us! Olivia came home with us, made a huge impact on many lives, and took off for Colorado. We were joined by, loved by and made better by a visit from Cameron Lovejoy. We adventured to the Enchanted Forest and the Cougar Hot Springs, near Eugene. Nekkid. Beautiful. Elizabeth and Susan joined our Lovefest and got a full immersion into the freedom that is Unschooled Teens. And just as I felt I could never ever have enough time nor energy to blog about all that is perfect and beautiful in my life, I took a nap.
Last Thursday, I was innocently curled up with my 24 DVD, enjoying well deserved snoozing with intermittent Kiefer sounds... the phone rang, often, and I thought what if this is the wrong 1/2 hour to ignore your phone followed immediately by it'll still be important 1/2 hour from now and I continued to snooze.
Mary barged right into my room. Will you come to L.A. with me?
*Uh, yeah. (yawn) when?
Now! James is playing at a bar, downtown L.A., one time only, if we leave now, we can make it. I've got three tickets, Craig may be coming from Canada, too. Talk to Hayden, pack your stuff, let's do it!
*(to self) am I awake?! (to Mary)Okay! Let's do it, I'll talk to the boy, pack and figure out what to do if he comes and a plan for if he doesn't.
There's a kind of Magic that is Mary's Intentions... Let's just say Hayden sent us to LA with a smile on his face and a song in his heart, giving the gift of his mother's company to his good friend, Mary, for the weekend. Just like that. It all fell into place. We hit the road at 9 pm, rolled into L.A. at 2 pm, pulled off the freeway (I-5 all the way, really ALL the way) and straight to the venue, Spaceland at Silver Lake & Effie! After playing the part of Super Crazed Old Lady Fans, we drove the remaining 8 blocks to our hotel, with this super cool mural across the street. Thanks Jon! Another in the string of perfect gifts on our weekend ♥ We were willing and joyful victims to Life's Phate. I called a friend I so desperately wanted to visit in February, for his 42nd birthday. A friend who's friendship I treasure. The Phated timing of my visit was clearly evident. I was honored to spend my Friday afternoon in Los Angeles with my ever amazing and always inspiring Dave. (Who just happens to live about 4 miles from aforementioned hotel!) Hours of reminders; why we're here, what we've got to offer and why we're worthy of every single amazing thing available in this life. Thanks Dave for being the perfect sounding board for the process of becoming me. I am honored to have borne witness to your journey. Authentic Love. Namaste.(The James Concert is here, timewise, still processing the experience)
We got to see Christine and her Circus. Sharing Together even more reminders of the Gift we Are to One Another. If anyone's Now is more Peaceful than their last, for having known our presence, our Soul's Work is being Done. Go Karma!
Your Heart just needs to Sing! ♥

Happy (freakin) Anniversary Honey!