As the Xmas hostess, I wanted my home and my life to be the safe haven for these kids to come see their "mom" for the holiday. I also wanted myself and my family to be safe from judgment and scorn. I took care of myself by burning away my resentment in our Yule fire on Solstice, we rang bells to every diety known and unknown to help our family with this journey from fear into light.
I sent the message that the family was completely welcome in my home, that I wished for them to remain on the premesis to aid in consistency with the children (at least they'd know *these people* aren't gonna ditch them!). I also put every guest on alert for the day - my sister was NOT to have any unsupervised time at the gathering, we were all responsible for making sure she was not left alone to do anything inappropriate!
The day was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!!!
They arrived, all four kids in tow -- all clean and well-fed and LOVED!! The babe was clinging to his Daddy in that beautiful "hero worship" kind of way...
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Xmas Miracles I - the background
A bit of background... My sister has given birth 7 times: DeAnna, Angel, Joseph, Vincent, T'Anna, MacKenzie, and Tyler. DeAnna was adopted by my parents and is now my baby sister, Angel died a short 7 days after birth. The next three were removed from her custody by the state: Joseph and Vincent were adopted by family in Mpls, T'Anna (now Anna) was adopted by her foster mother. MacKenzie and Tyler have recently gone to live with their brothers in Mpls, hopefully to be adopted into their family. [my mother witnessed the cauterization of the fallopian tubes after Ty's birth--Yippee!!]
I have a long background with the adoptive family, I've known the dad (my "uncle") for most of my life and we have enjoyed a wonderful relationship over the years. I was instrumental in their foster/adoption of the boys and have pulled many a string to get the remaining two children into their custody.
The miracle comes into play with just a bit more background... We'd often visit my family on road trips to Mpls; after the adoption of the boys, it was incredibly difficult for the family to have contact or reminder of the family from which these boys came - so horribly damaged and in need of so much love and healing. There came a point where *I* became the target of all they were feeling towards my sister; it was a ugly and painful confrontation that has left a gaping wound in our family for over a year. I was asked to end all contact until a time where I had a job and could prove that I was *better* than my sister and not just a replay of her sad, sick, psychosis. I've always known in my heart that patience was the key, to continue doing what I do and Being who I Am would leave an opening for reconciliation and relationship.
MacKenzie and Tyler were cared for by strangers for the past many months while my sister ran off to the carnival. God may be truly the only one who knows what these kids have had to endure! For months, I've said the kids need to go live with their brothers, for them to further heal and for these kids to have a reasonable chance at a good life... Finally, it sunk in! My sister sent them to "stay" in late November.
Then I hear the gossip - My sister is manipulating the whole situation! She did award Power of Atty for Childcare to the family, but is refusing further action if she doesn't get to keep the little ones for a week over Xmas (without the adoptive parents present). This, after she talked to Mac on her birthday and told her "those people are not your parents, they stole you from me! Do not call them Mommy and Daddy!"
I have a long background with the adoptive family, I've known the dad (my "uncle") for most of my life and we have enjoyed a wonderful relationship over the years. I was instrumental in their foster/adoption of the boys and have pulled many a string to get the remaining two children into their custody.
The miracle comes into play with just a bit more background... We'd often visit my family on road trips to Mpls; after the adoption of the boys, it was incredibly difficult for the family to have contact or reminder of the family from which these boys came - so horribly damaged and in need of so much love and healing. There came a point where *I* became the target of all they were feeling towards my sister; it was a ugly and painful confrontation that has left a gaping wound in our family for over a year. I was asked to end all contact until a time where I had a job and could prove that I was *better* than my sister and not just a replay of her sad, sick, psychosis. I've always known in my heart that patience was the key, to continue doing what I do and Being who I Am would leave an opening for reconciliation and relationship.
MacKenzie and Tyler were cared for by strangers for the past many months while my sister ran off to the carnival. God may be truly the only one who knows what these kids have had to endure! For months, I've said the kids need to go live with their brothers, for them to further heal and for these kids to have a reasonable chance at a good life... Finally, it sunk in! My sister sent them to "stay" in late November.
Then I hear the gossip - My sister is manipulating the whole situation! She did award Power of Atty for Childcare to the family, but is refusing further action if she doesn't get to keep the little ones for a week over Xmas (without the adoptive parents present). This, after she talked to Mac on her birthday and told her "those people are not your parents, they stole you from me! Do not call them Mommy and Daddy!"
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