"God must have been listening"

whew. Deep breath.
I picked up a newspaper today & read about a recent horrific shooting, involving a foreign exchange student. I am saddened, once again, by the senseless acts of violence we commit against one another... where does it make sense? Never mind, I don't want to know.
I'm acutely sensitive to the pain inflicted when one's child dies. I totally understand far better than I ever want to.
Yeah. And some people are just ridiculously stupid in their speaking...
Here's the quote that left town with my goat:

De Sousa almost broke down. But steadied by his wife, Tiziana Trevisan, he prayed to God: "You gave me Susy, and you are allowed to take her back to you. We all know that it can happen any time. But if you please can do it, don't take her back yet because we need her here."

God must have been listening: Susy's still here.

"This is a message that God sent to us," De Sousa said, "that Susy, she's an angel."

I guess that means that Hannah is not an angel. Mayhap God's hearing aid batteries were dead on those days I prayed (not even to mention the countless others who prayed -- and not even to the SAME God!!) asking for my daughter to be spared.
What. The. Fuck. Am. I. Supposed. To. Think?
Huh, God? Are they right? My family gets smited and their loved one survives and they chalk it up to your listening skills. Which automatically (because listening = love) means you love them more. I. Don't. Get. It.
Well fuck you Susy's Dad, My Hannah's a REAL fucking angel. And God didn't listen to you any more than He does to anyone else - Susy didn't die because it wasn't Susy's time to die. period. Amen.
Just so ya know, I am well aware that the Fuck You Susy's Dad is every bit as insensitive as his comment about God... sometimes you just gotta give a little back -- God understands, He made me this way, the asshole!

Not my first trip to NYC

Once upon a time, I did have a very first trip to NYC. My goal for my very first trip to NYC? Ice skating at Rockefeller Center. Sweet, simple, easy to accommodate and frankly, a dream-come-true for this little girl from souf'akota. Okay I wasn't a little girl then, either! I went to NYC the first time circa Christmas 1989, the Saturday before Christmas. It was wet and dirty and bustling and loud and dark and and and all those things that NYC is in the head of those who've never experienced it (except scary, I distinctly remember a lack of scary in the experience). I was with Big Joe and Ant'ny and I think one of his girlfriends... (quite possibly the one, after dating Joe's dad for 3 months, told us we couldn't sleep together when I visited -- even though we'd already been dating 3 years!!) There was the St. Patrick's Cathedral moment, which deserves an entire post of it's own... though for anyone (else) who might not know, Catholics tend to reserve the presence of baby Jesus until the day we celebrate his birth (i.e. if you're in the church on December 22 and there's no Jesus, he's not been stolen, he ain't been born yet). Of course, St. Patrick's is just down the street from 30 Rock. Easy to get me there, huh? Oh sure, we went there and we looked and Anthony decided it was too busy and he wouldn't wait for me to skate and would head back to Jersey without me if I did decide to go ahead. He says, don't worry, I'll take you to Indian food! You like Indian food? Uh no, I've never had Indian food. I just wanna skate. GREAT! Here's the Indian restaurant!
I was very sad. For a long time I thought I'd missed my one chance...
Then the earthquake happened, years and years and years later. In time to give all of us MLK Day off work. And just before our big ol' DesignTex trip to NYC. SFV Earthquake Monday, NYC Ice skating Thursday and with my bestest friend in the universe! Not only did we get to skate to our hearts content (and our LA blood permitted), we also wandered Central Park, where I borrowed a kid's sled to tackle my first hill in many years (thanks kid!), and we all went on one of them cheezy carriage rides around the Park. I got to see Strawberry Fields *and* the Dakota Building. And we played at FAO Schwarz - I've got pictures of us with Tweety there ♥ and we tried to find a public potty in the Plaza, after not finding one in Trump Towers (though their water feature was nice). What a Grand Adventure is this Life !!

This Post is Dedicated to Elton,

the Real Queen of England, Sir, or the Elton John ticket fairy,
whomever reads my blog first:
Joanna called to say, Elton is on tour with Billy Joel. We gotta go. She's willing to fly, I'm willing to drive. Now $7,000 needs to fall out of the sky so we can get front and center tickets. We deserve them. For Reals. And they're in Anaheim during the OSU Spring Break, when I already planned to be in the Los Angeles area & it wouldn't suck for Jojo to fly Omaha to LAX. OH! Maybe she could come before Wednesday for Disneyland with us, too!! ♥ ♥ ♥ Mayhap Mary left some fanatic mojo and we'll get to meet our hero... Hannah needs to be on tour with The Boys!
Jojo & I last saw Elton and Billy Joel together in Minneapolis, 2001. This is what we saw from our 60$ seats in the Target Center. Aunt Donna and Amy came along, too.
Which means our kids were probably at Tena's - Thanks again and again and again m'friend! ♥
Can anyone name those albums? Perhaps the designer of two of them? I got to interpret the concert for Amy. Here I am in the middle of "The Bitch is Back" My serious bitch interpreter face; cute, huh? Jojo did her best "Mitch interpreting Rocket Man for Amy" impersonation Amy and I had tequila shots together (which we took like men-no lime, tough face) in the downstairs bar, for Mitch, who funded our adventure post-mortem! My only soulful request was to hear Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding, in The Dead Guy's honor. Billy played it for me that night, while Elton crooned. The earth moved. I cried. I need a mischievous vacation with my sister, with Elton at it's center. See? Now to make it happen...

One o'em weeks

It's funny the little pieces that add up to a week of quiet withdrawal... about to bleed, earthquake anniversary, Hannah's love of MLK, new president, new job, kid juggling sleep/awake/loneliness... I've discovered the reason they call work, work, and not something more joy-inspiring like fun, is because it is work and the reason they pay you to work is so you find a way to inspire joy where the fun has worn thin. Love my jobs; still getting used to this whole every day routine. Frankly, it's nice for Hayden to miss me a bit. The school terms are a mere 10 weeks; I know to schedule work earlier in the day and more condensed hours (skip the extra evening hours when he's for sure awake). Interpreting comes naturally for me, and for that I am eternally and deeply grateful... 'cept this one class. I'm workin' in there. whew. My brain is t.i.r.e.d. when I'm done. That's where I make my money. And I gotta walk to the 4th floor for it (which I've just realized is a climb of 3 flights not the 4 flights I'd originally given myself credit for. still burns. may as well be 4. How did I survive highschool? oh yeah, I wasn't a 40 year old smoker back then!). And my boss comes this week, when I'm all-a-funkified, to come watch me work. She witnessed me earning my keep; I pulled it out and away *<:D I'm good. Even running at about 32.48%, so long as I use all 32.48% to it's fullest! And I realized that is probably the secret to making this whole juggling act work. Givin what I got. All of it. Amy Steinberg has something to say about that. On her Fall Down to Fly album, Shine. Yeah, I'm gonna hang out with Amy this afternoon. And bleed. And knit. some. more. After I get dressed (?) and walk the dog. Possibly downtown to get the car. Hmmm, I suppose oxygen would do me good. Daggumit, now I can't avoid walking the dog any longer and I didn't even get to whine about my Loki-possessed cell phone.

Knitting Madness

I've been puttering with phone cozies lately, because they're quick and easy and fun...
and I can't find a one to take a picture of!
Instead, I'll provide a gallery of my latest bagsThis here's a Lucy Bag (^before felting & after felting, below) This pattern was actually recommended to me by a woman on the street in Kalona, IA, after she commented on a bag I'd made (a Booga Bag variation). I think I need to use a heavier weight yarn for this projectSince my mama was gracious enough to send a giant bag of wool yarn and Noah was gracious enough to have a January birthday, I got to whip out another Murse! (a total of 4 days)I used both colors of blue my mama sent & I love the matching button!
(My own pattern I made up as I went along - even made the strap attached ♥)With an added dose of some purple wool, I got to finish this beautyher straps are attached too, so they can thread through 'round back and be worn like a backpack. Though I like the knotted clutch strapAs soon as I've got a pile of dirty jeans, I'll get to finish this one!a combination of leftover solid purple and the lightweight variegated purples for some punch of color on the cream... It'll have wide cream straps of some sort, maybe a drawstring, too... with a square bottom I can block it tall and square or shorter with a rounded bottom... I can't wait to see how it turns out!

P.S. I seriously need a serious haircut! When I look at these pictures, all I can see is all my hair woven into the projects!! eeeeekk!

Internet Withdrawal

Three days... three luxurious days of "nah, go ahead a level your character" to add to my karmic stockpile. Then I looked at the pictures on my phone! We've done so many cool things and I haven't even told these stories yet!! You can't know how much you've been missing "Cindy messed up in a fruit bowl" by Jasper. Now you don't have to anymore.

Biker Babe, for a day

I updated an ancient post and didn't want the photo to go unappreciated...
My first Sturgis Bike Rally, August 2001. Me & Amy, on our way to Sheryl Crowe with Fat Bastard (a term of endearment). It was just after this photo when the downpouring rain threatened our party, when FB said, "didn't you talk to your husband about this? isn't he taking care of it?" and just as we saw the exit sign, we entered the hasn't rained a teeny bit zone. We all thanked Mitch aloud. One of several, um, miracles he performed for FB; it was both a menace and, well, quite funny. Hey, at least he returned the tent. After 6 weeks.

Awaiting the news? I know you are!

I just know that all 14.678 of you - scientifically - are wondering just how much did diana's ass move the rest of the week?
Well, a lot. Now you know! Walked the dog Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings before work -- to our grassy former-campground park -- even tossing the ball for him! Today, I moseyed onto the sofa for last night's Daily Show before, yes indeed, putting Charlie's backpack with black beans inside, on him and walked him to the end of the road and back. 2 miles credit for 1 mile walk, thanks the the job created by the load he carried ♥
Add to that the four stories, four days a week that is gonna do wonders for my ass. AND I get paid to walk the ding-dang stairs. AND I just found the elevator and STILL took the stairs. Mayhap come March, I'll not be wheezing for an entire minute upon completion! My ass'll look good AND we'll have extra cash AND I'll be more fluent in Espanol! Breathing well is just plain gravy after that! Add in the miscellaneous wanderings on campus I'll be doing between assignments, dang, I may soon be able use that one word, the one that is just a tiny evolutionary leap above sedentary. What is it? Filled with inertia.
At the moment.
Well, not this moment.
Oh Yes I Am! I've gotta go sit and get back to my super dooper amazing project that needs to be done by tomorrow ♥ Sooper Dooper Birthday Gift Creation does not count as a sendintary activity! Hooray for a DVR with neglected Law and Order episodes!
Come to me quick knitting gods (or angels or elves... someone?) so that Noah might feel even MORE loved in a few hours...

Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.

- Robertson Davies

Just keep moving, just keep moving

North by Northwest was on the telly this morning. Several times I awakened and went to back to sleep to the same movie, it's one of my all time favorites. Maybe it's the feeling of this is not my life that I can *so* relate to...
When I woke up for real there was a moment of If I go back to sleep, then I'm not awake and needing to move yet, when I realized, more than ever, that I need to move upon awakening. Period. My mind scrambled and struggled to find justification for not moving, which led me, once again, to the starting point of my need to move. I don't give myself permission to not like moving; I give myself full permission to find something anything that can be enjoyed on our imperative moving expedition.
Today, we went the opposite route to the park, just to mix things up for the not-so-easy-to-trick doggie. I saw folks already there (I tell you, it's a perfect dog park!) tossing a tennis ball for their dog, Cody. The decision was a tough one: Give Charlie a chance to socialize while working (still, always) on his ball-obsessive behaviors; head down to the river, bypassing socialization for what he loves to do and is less work for me; or let him poop and walk straight on home. I picked socializing and working. Which actually surprised me, after my initial not wanting to ______ mentality that started the day. And work we did! There was lots of running, both dogs charging after the coveted green fuzziness & only a couple of moments of angst between them. One of the moments could have been really scary, loud and furry moment of tennisball pissiness, followed immediately by calm submission, and make-up ball chasing ♥ I'm glad the fellow pack leaders were open to suggestions (not leaving after the gnashing incident, allowing the pups to reconcile and move on). Charlie is exhausted on every single level a big black fuzzy dog can exhaust!!
And I moved; body and mind.
4 days in a row!
Wo.0t!

I did it!

I was awake circa 1:30 pm, walking the dog by 1:45 -- in the rain. Raining-rain. We're wet.
And garshdangitall, we're walked.
Two days in a row. For an hour.
Yeah.
I need plastic pants.