Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Free Will Astrology

Freewill Astrology: On some days you work on creating your tapestry, weaving each thread with care and artistry. On other days you inexplicably unravel the same tapestry, undoing your fine efforts. Is there some hidden purpose in this maddening rhythm—a strategy I can't fathom? Or is it fueled by a half-conscious compulsion you feel helpless to resist? Please get clear, Gemini, about what's motivating you to take two steps forward, then two steps backward. I'd like to see you go at least three steps forward, two steps backward.
**************************
Oooooh, an ass kickin' horoscope! Lessee how long I like this ;)
**************************
The Secret's been floating back up to the top (gonna have to do a Bleep/Secret party!) and I've been forced to *think* before I actually *think aloud* to the universe. So why is it easy to apply to the small, not even scared anyway, parts of my life, but slip soundlessly and as mindlessly as possible into overwhelm, not as an escape but as an excuse. I had a way cool excursion on Friday and yet I morphed into the chittering Spider monkey on Acid that only I can do; must I sabotage? I agreed to mother the circle for February... it's Wednesday! I've got floorspace and no plan. I can call overwhelm and shirk some responsibilities, or, like yesterday, I can force myself out of this cycle; I can put on any music for any mood and by thoughtfully putting one foot in front of the other, seeing a task to completion can become it's own catharsis. (so I say three garbage bags later!) The light of day just isn't so bad... Now to cast some light on those big, scary but I'm still more brave, parts of this Life.

Mitch on MySpace

...bizarre. That's what it is. It's still a teeny tiny world out there. Kristin finds me first, because Jerry tells her, then her brother, Derby finds me. Derby's where it all starts; he was friends with Dave and introduced Reuben and Mitch, et al. That's funny. My trip to LA this time will have a different flavor, I can already tell.

It's morning...

...and it's quiet and it's all mine :::vbg:::
I took down Xmas last night, the most of it anyway, I just remembered the cards are still up from 2005! I threw away some videotapes, we talked about the Jerk, which led to Paul Simon's Bernadette (which we love!), which led to Steve Martin, which led to every other movie he made, which led to Amsterdam and the recent pictures I've seen of tiny cars, which somehow led to Star Wars and LaserDisc vs DVD...
I listened to new music and just got the job done. Even swept and mopped.
My room today. The laundry towers. It scares me.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Stars that make you go hmmm...

From Midco: Complaining about someone or something can be ever so addictive. If it goes on too long, though, you need to ask yourself if you're not projecting just a bit onto this handy subject. What's really at stake here?

From Tarot.com: It can be very frustrating if you know where you want to go, but are not allowed to go there yet. "First things first," they tell you. There are many things that must be accomplished before you set out on your journey, whether it's a vacation, a relationship or a project. Unpack your bags; even if your time is approaching, you are not yet ready to depart.

Well, alrighty then, I'm sitting down and shutting up... figuring out exactly what comes first.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Favorites

It's a tag/play-along thing, but I'm doing this one (in the spirit of Amy) for my own enjoyment, though I'd like to know those who do this one, too :)
5 Favorite Scents:
1. The smell of lilacs on a warm breeze (surprise scent is best!)
2. Milky babies (their heads, their breath)
3. Peaceful Patchouli by Kiss My Face
4. Darphin body wash
5. Obsession by Calvin Klein

In a heartbeat: (or half a heartbeat!)
See, he's thinking about how much he needs some *diana* in his life :)
Oh, wait! They are both thinking the same thing!!
's okay boys, there's plenty of me to go around!


I would, but I'd blush:
If we married, I'd be Diana Lea Lee :)
I just watched Simon Birch again... aaaahh Oliver!

Not if they were the last men on earth:
too bad his palm isn't facing him, then he'd be signing *bullshit* :)

I have a personal policy of *not* sleeping with murderers, 'specially not Republican idiot murderers who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions; plus, he spits when he talks!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Weird Science

I've been tagged! Mary has posted her weirdness for the blog world to examine, I guess I'm next! I must tell 6 weird things about me...(only 6!?! It'd be easier to tell you 6 normal things about me... mayhap another meme)
Here are the rules: Each person who gets tagged needs to write a blog post of their own 6 weird things as well as clearly state this rule. After you state your 6 weird things, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you're tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog for information as to what it means. So here goes.

1. I have more than 6 weirdnesses about food! I won't eat casseroles (no matter how wonderful your gramma's recipe is, it's just uber gross to me!); I don't like my food to touch (Mitch once bought me cafeteria trays to keep my food separate <3);
2. I can pick up most anything with my toes! Mitch could too ::g:: we were so happy to discover both our offspring could, too!
3. Using both hands, I can write a word and it's mirror image simultaneously.
4. I have a terribly sick sense of humor.
I have no problem speaking ill of the dead, bone breaking skateboarding accidents almost make me pee myself from laughter, while some folks may cringe, I'm laughing away...
5. I once had the Sean Connery monologue from "Highlander" as my answering machine message. One day I came home to several hangups and a message from some random guy saying how cool my message is. "From the dawn of time we came; moving silently down through the centuries, living many secret lives, struggling to reach the time of the Gathering; when the few who remain will battle to the last. No one has ever known we were among you... until now." ooooh, gives me chills just looking at the words! My friend Jayson once gave me an Italian poster of this movie, he said it was the coolest of all the posters made for this film. I used to be able to recite the entire film verbatim.
6. I have no sense of propriety when it comes to subject matter. I don't care if we're in a 5 star restaurant or at Grampa's funeral, if the topic of circumcision comes up, I'll discuss it (or Sex or Gross Stuff or Personal Stuff...) I'm genuinely shocked when I'm shushed or when people begin to turn green.

Tagged: (I can't wait!!)
1. Cris
2. Dar
3. Karen
4. Mel
5. Chas
6. Amy

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

There's a light....

...over at my Frankenstein place...
(you know it makes you wanna sing!)
I can sleep peacefully now, knowing when I wake up, this is what's in store for me:
Gemini: You are like a hot air balloon today, since your thoughts rise up above the events of your life. You are enthused and feel as if you could accomplish almost anything. Unfortunately, your sense of reality could be somewhat distorted, but don't let this prevent you from attempting the impossible. You just might surprise everyone, including yourself.
My reality is always distorted and it's not yet stopped me from doing the impossible... I'm looking forward to rising above and surprising myself!

Even this girl gets the blues...

Throwing myself a pity party right this minute... not even for anything big and real and awful, just that general malaise that seems to take ahold every once in a while that I somehow need to spotlight and poke like a fecking bruise.
I know I'm overwhelmed with grief... I know this, I just don't really know what to do about it.
I hate not having a car. I hate even more becoming resentful that I don't have a car. I love that I have one in waiting; we're so very excited to actually be able to drive Howard... but FUCK! we named him in October and here we sit, encroaching upon the end of January and he's not back together yet. Poor Uncle Troy, the guy's got RA and works all day as a mechanic, I can't imagine fixing up my car is at the top of his *great fun* list. I'd love to go over and cheer him along, being his hands, should he need... but alas, no fecking transportation! Yeah, it's also great that I'm not spending any money on gas (except for the bit of cash I feel compelled to give my dad for driving me). It's also great that gas is below $2/gallon...
I gotta get to that po-dunk town north of Watertown, Summit, to get the rest of our belongings out of Hermione and I have to figure out how to get us to Flandreau to pick up the things we left in Bemidji, including parts for Hayden's computer and his fairly large collection of video games. (Kelli sent them down with a friend, whom she thought would frequent SF, but alas, he e-mailed and doesn't think he'll be down here for quite some time...)
Our living situation continues to suck... not wholly, but mostly... I'm just sitting her totally overwhelmed by all the shit. My muse is on an extended cigarette break; my inspiration is non-existent... and the residual guilt over what I *should be* doing is driving me further and further under my rock. Where I can be comfy and cozy, snuggling up with some freshly laundered warm-from-the-dryer blankies... though they, too, are filled (every single fiber) with tortured memories I'd rather not deal with right now.
ack! I answered the phone and I really shouldn't have... hayden's friend's drunk daddy's on the line, giving me his drunken philosophies on life. I'm breathing and remembering Amy's words... this *must* be exactly where I'm supposed to be... someday I shall understand this madness as well... I guess I can be glad I'm not *him* and possibly even more glad that I am alone and not with someone like him.
Okay, his drunkenness talked me thru the moment... I'm much better now. Still think I'm a-gonna have me a big ol soulful (or soul-emptying) sobbing snotty cry tonight. Just 'cause I'm due.
Life is good. And tomorrow, I'm gonna believe that!

Monday, January 22, 2007

This is MY kid

Sometimes, I'm just so amazed at the power of my own Self... This guy came out of my body, as a representation of both his father and I, the love, the craziness, the fun, the joy.
I've learned more about life from and through Hayden than from anyone else on this planet. I'm proud to claim him and I strive to make him proud to be my kid...
So far, so good!

We are so blessed!

I thought I was the only one who noticed...

Friday, January 19, 2007

Why I *still* love The Office

Karen: Do you still have feelings for her?
Jim: ...Yes

YAY!!! All is right with the world, for another week!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

13 years and 1 day ago...

eek! I wrote 12 years until I thought about it...
January 17, 1994, 4:31 am PST. My world was rocked forevermore - quite literally! A HUGE earthquake began at that exact moment and it was all my fault!!
It was Martin Luther King jr Day and I had to work; at a company that gave us every other high holy day off at our discretion, surprisingly didn't offer us this holiday. So I spent the entire weekend complaining to anyone who would listen about what a horrible thing it was to work on that day... well, I guess I got what I wanted, huh?
I remember that Sunday night... we re-watched the Howard Stern NYE show and had company for dinner (who was that?) and afterwards, Mitch and I walked to the nearby pet store and picked up another couple of fish for our big tank (we had Chuck Wollery - Mitch was a big fan of that insipid dating show he did, and we had Lucy and Ricky -- we bought Fred and Ethel that night, African Ciclids).
My first memory is my body slamming into Mitch's and landing back on the bed; my first thought was "that sumbitch broke my bed!" and as I reached my arm out to slug him for it, we were once again tossed into the air while the transformer blew up, just outside my window. There was a loud glass crash from Dave's room and I heard his cries of "don't come in, don't come in!!" as I sprinted towards the front door. Once my hand touched the doorhandle, I realized I was stark naked and returned to the bedroom for my robe. Mitch caught me there and held me in the doorway for what seemed an eternity as everything around us lurched and crashed. Dave still gave us periodic updates, as he rode out the quake on a waterbed!
In Dave's room, he had just hung a gaudy, crystal chandelier over his bed. When he fell asleep Sunday night, his head was at the foot of the bed, directly under said light fixture. At 4:30 am, Chi-Chi began scratching at the door so Dave let her out and moved to the top of the bed... nary a minute later, the lamp crashed down and shattered, right where Dave had been sleeping! (this is why the wise Californians keep shoes near their beds!)
During the first, big still point, we all walked out to the street, joining our entire neighborhood. We were all in shock and couldn't talk... then, it happened... we all looked up at the same time and, for the very first time in our lives, the San Fernando Valley sky was covered in stars!! We gave a collective aaaaaaahhh and began checking in with each other (we actually lived in a neighborhood where folks knew one another). Dave took off in his car to get a generator from his parents, a few miles away. He was home in just a few minutes, totally shaken by the devastation he witnessed... buildings with entire sides missing, folks dead from falling building parts... It was such a blur! Patches came back right away, the other two cats stayed gone most of the day (under the house); Chi-Chi dog jumped into Dave's car and wouldn't budge (the car can move, but the house ain't supposed to!); Monty, the baby Python was missing but wouldn't go far without his heat source (it was winter afterall!). Our fridge had crashed into the stove, directly across from it and dumped the most of it's contents all over the floor, with the exception of a gallon jar of pickled veggies (thank goddess!!). All of our dishes were broken on the floor too, having escaped from the cupboards (where the had only begun to spend time after Mitch moved in the previous November -- had they been dirty in the sink, I think we coulda saved some!). The fish tank took a big jump and tipped just enough for two kamikaze fish to make it into my closet, with lots and lots of stinky fishtank water! The remaining three fish seemed unfazed, I imagine their small brains helped them a lot in this situation :) The top to my hutch was broken, Mitch was immediately gleeful, but I made him fix it! [he gave it to me on our first date and thought he'd never have to look at it again... I still have it!]
Our home became the congregational point, as we would use the generator to alternate between the fridge and the tv. Not that the tv had anything to report but horrible news, but it was nice to see the whole of us dividing our stores and sharing our gifts with one another. The next door neighbor on one side had his grill, the other side had plenty of drinking water, across the street neighbors had lots of beer, other neighbors had their precious cuts of meat threatening to rot and demanding to be shared and enjoyed!
At 6:30 am, Dana called to check on us and we realized we had phone service for the moment... I quickly called my dad (who was asleep after a long night of clearing snow from SF parking lots) and told him there was a big earthquake and that I was fine; he went back to sleep. Mom, however, was at work listening to the news reports and trying to call me and couldn't get through. Hours later, when she got home and shared her frantic worry with dad, he remembered my call and reassured her.
The aftershocks seemed never to stop; Earth Surfing, I called trying to walk down the street. I laughed, only because I knew crying just wouldn't help a ding-dang thing.
Mitch and Dave took off that afternoon, to check on the neighborhood liquor store (and stock up!) and help other neighbors with whatever they needed uprighted or moved.
Our home was safe and stable, thanks to an internal fireplace with it's own footing; the house went up and right back down along the chimney. So unlike our neighbors with gas heat or external fireplaces, we could have a fire that night.
Our friend Lasse, chose to sleep in the park with 10,000 strangers that night, because he was more afraid of our snake than of people in the park.
I remember Bill Clinton came to town that day (unlike our current resident who seems to be too good for natural disasters and the people affected) and I was glad, I was glad he came to see for himself how horrible it was to be right there in the middle of this. (later determined we were about 8 blocks from the epicenter of the now named Northridge Earthquake, 6.7 on the Richter Scale) The tanks and national guardsmen with their m-16s could have stayed home, I understand why they came, but it was such a shock to see them the first time I left home, three days later... I also witnessed true compact cars, smashed under the apartment buildings... I kept my eyes closed much of that first ride to work. I had to go back to work, they demanded it! The office was in Beverly Hills and well, tough shit about the valley, get to work. So I did (Thursday?), but I refused to shower -- Mitch and Dave showered in the already-reported super-contaminated water (who keeps the poop next to the drinking water? they do in LA!) and had raging rashes all over aaaallll over their bodies. I used a bit of the drinking water to do a whore's bath, but I preferred to wallow... if they needed me at work, then fine, I'm going in stinky!! There was an aftershock while I was there, that bowed the picture window next to my desk, I hastily hung up on the customer, crying "earthquake!" and hid under my desk. 10 minutes later, I was calming down the customer and myself... this too had passed.
I heard about the motorcycle cop who lost his freeway as he was cruising along, lost his life, too... the big miracle of the day was the parking lot sweeper guy at the Northridge Mall, who was saved by the cage in his machine... it took forever to rescue him, but he kept his life. There were folks who needed rescuing from incredibly tall freeway chunks that became cement mesas for a few trucks and cars. Devonshire Boulevard was a giant cavern with water running like crazy and a gas fire raging up the middle...
I was in NYC before week's end, on an already scheduled business trip... Me and Christine, who by the way, was pushed waaaaaaay over the edge by this event. Growing up in SoCal, you learn "the big one's gonna come and we're all gonna die" - she figured it was true! When she lived, she really didn't know what to do!! So she and her husband, both naked, each grabbed a toddler and rode out the earthquake on their boulevard. No one cared; first because it's LA and no one cares, and second because the other folks were freaking out just the same.
We were SO manic on that trip, both acutely suffering from PTSD... we stayed in a $300/night Leona Helmsley hotel, just across from Central Park (three of us split the cost)... we did all the crazy touristy things, like ice skating at Rockefeller Center, a carriage ride thru the park and binge drinking at a cool club :) I remember choosing my meal carefully, as I would probably barf it up later (drinking + diana = puke)... I drank and drank and danced and danced and ran to puke and drank and danced some more. We crawled into a cab at night's end and the cabbie laughed at us as he drove us just around the corner to our hotel. I crawled into the bathroom to complete the puke cycle and I noticed the phone (how cool is that!?!), I called Mitch, but he hung up on me because I was so drunk! I musta had way more fun at the bar than I remembered, because the next night at about 10pm some guy came to our hotel room for our "sightseeing date" -- and I went!! First we went up the Empire State Building, then we walked aaalllll over Manhattan, even went for a ride on the subway. Where ever you are today, kind sir, I offer you my thanks for being such an incredible gentleman and for keeping me safe -- sorry I don't remember your name.
After the work stuff finished, I was determined to go home and tell Mitch I would transfer my job to the Bronx and work at headquarters... when I got home everything was packed and he had set a date with my mother for us to move back to SD... and the rest, they say, is history!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

New News

Tony got a dog: Bodhi
a 12 week old wire haired cocker mix.


I'm glad to know he knows I'm alive :)



But I didn't answer the phone!


***pppppbbbbbbttttt***

God is SOOOOO funny!


There are three more episodes on YouTube... too funny!

Conor & Snow

It doesn't ever snow in Corvallis... hee hee hee

I know how ya feel, bud... and we're supposed to be used to it!

Monday, January 15, 2007

MySpace Vortex

Jerry found me there... 'cause my name's hahamommy :) He's my only myspace friend with naked chicks in his friend list, I would ordinarily deny his friend request based on that, except: He's Mitch's best friend, who married Mitch's ex-girlfriend- the one who lived with him at his mother's house, who by-the-way gave birth to his first son, Thomas, who was given up for adoption in 1989. Jerry and Kimmi have a son together, Jerry Jr, but are no longer married. It was cool to talk to him, to know that Mitch brought him into my life on purpose... he was selective of the friends I met and the stories I was told; knowing Jerry says something about the way Mitch trusted him & loved him. He's got a real job and he's raising this boy (even having to get off the phone to do the bedtime routine!) with some help from Kimmi (but, hey, she's around! that's a big deal). We're looking forward to seeing them in April - ah, another option for respite!! I talked to Hayden about the whole mixed-up genetic craziness of this relationship: his 1/2 brother is 1/2 brother to Jerry Jr... his face lit up and he proclaimed, another brother? yay!!! I think it will be a wonderful thing to see them and introduce the boys (Kimmi was pregnant at Mitch's funeral).

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Oh yeah!


The very best first-meeting impression:
your personality is like a big, open, fresh box of crayons !
i had the spins from all the laughs and beers :)

Mama's Date with Kiefer

He needs me, like really, really needs me in his life... I just know it! Someone please let him know, so the statement on his picture can be even more accurate! Until then, I'll happily curl up with Jack Bauer and imagine what is yet to come...
Welcome to the diana vortex, baby!
And if they get 24 on the other side, I know exactly what my Hannah Bear is doing tonight, too :)

Today's snowy musings...

Gemini - Speaking your mind is essential to your peace of mind. The stars gild your words with gold; even the most closed-minded types can't help but open their hearts when they listen to your sentiments. (from midco.net)
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3>
I think I've seen Talladega Nights a few times too many! This horoscope brings images of tiny, baby, 8 lb 4 oz baby Jesus in his golden fleece nappies... (I crack me up!) Plus I remember laughing and laughing last night about different scenes from that more-hilarious-than-expected cheezeball film! (especially the one scene that is almost as hilarious as the infamous "When Harry Met Sally" deli scene) The amount of alcohol I consumed greatly influenced the intensity of said reenactments! Three beers - actually less than three beers, I left some in the bottle when we left - was all I needed to laugh my ass off with new friends in a really cool (though Crown Royal-less) adult establishment! I convinced Lisa to come with me, (good thing too, as we were kinda ditched for a while there and I could have been left aaaalll alone!) and we arrived too late to see Wumpus in action, though I met said drummer right at the door - no anonymity, it was immediate recognition. Then an hour later, I'm going to buy beer #2 and he re-arrives with his own backup plan -- as my life would have it, his friend and I graduated high school together, but I don't remember meeting her before... just some vague familiarity; which lead to a newly coined phrase: diana leads a parallelistic life ;)
The night was amazing on so many different levels... it was great to get out of the basement and out and about with other grownups (it was said that Wumpus is basement music, which is the only place I've heard it... maybe we missed it because they were playing on ground level?); I have renewed faith in my own entertainment value (there was this thing I had with the bathroom's medicine cabinet and the Shawshank Redemption and Matrix all rolled into one crazy, too-weird-to-document joke); and I've got reinforcement that the Secret is true, I can and do Attract good and wonderful folk to my Vortex :) It's been far too long since I laughed so hardily and so selflessly... what a great reminder!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Oh wait, there's this too!

My midco horoscope today :)
Sometimes other people mistake you for a lightweight because you have so many diverse interests and friends. You know they're full of hot air. Being multifaceted isn't the same as being shallow.
hee hee
The other one says:
No matter how much you struggle, success seems to stay one step ahead of you now. It's not that you have a bad attitude; it's something you just cannot put your finger on. So, maybe your temporary answer is to take it easy. Make time to enjoy yourself while remaining flexible. There could be a few surprises today that change everything.

...and that, darlin' is what makes my life mine!


It's a Temp Job

...this life, and what comes after, I suspect, as well...
I've been watching Dead Like Me, a deathly addictive show ::g::
My friend Jacqui sent Melissa into my life today. Jacqui sent a package of amazing Hannah ashes stuff and Melissa's son, Joshua, died a year ago in December... Jessie is her beautiful still-here daughter; Josh had a great life while it lasted, much like Hannah. I'm sending back to Jacqui, through Melissa's consciousness, a Hannah bag of grieving books and Thich Nhat Hahn's book of Anger. I'm also sending along the water bug & dragonfly book for Carol Mayer, who was covered in dragonflies the last time I saw her and was shocked to know she'd not heard the story!
I think it turned out to be a really fair trade between the souls today. I got to meet a couple of soul sisters in Melissa and Jessie; a strengthened bond with Jacqui ~ good call! I got to meet Joshua. They got to meet Hannah & Hayden. Melissa got some comfort. I got some insight. Hannah has a new big brother in Heaven, I guess Josh was pretty good at that job with his own sister. She's been asked to also give him a kick in the pants for his mother. ::bg::
There's the offering, always, of another's perspective; it never hurts to take a peek, even for me, through the eyes of another. Jessie glowed when talking about her brother. I'm not sure if I yet feel the glow when I speak of Hannah, though Jessie may have been my mirror at that moment. I got to return to the universe some books that did not speak to me on my journey and they now have the opportunity to go to their rightful homes and speak to whom they need to heal. Kinda like me and Melissa; I got healing from our experience today and I strive to provide that myself.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
I'm going to flirt madly with the drummer of a local band on Saturday nite...
For those who know the scoop, this merely brings me one step closer into Eric's vortex, bwahahahahaha.... <---my best benevolent stalker laugh :^D

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

To My Friends...

On Friendship
Kahlil Gibran

Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind,nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires,
all expectations are born and shared,
with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship
save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter,
and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.

You honor me with the gift of your friendship,
Namaste

**yet another reason I love myspace! I carried this over with the utmost love and honor in my heart...
so thank you to whomever shared this there, so I could share it here!**

I'm Cleanin'

Oh yeah, I'm dancin' cause I can... I've got floor space... Oh yeah! Life is Good! More out tomorrow, Eli's comin' over to help... (only until his dad gets off work, then he's gotta go warm up the garage so they can focus on Howard) Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!

For them ding dang difonzo kids... and all they taught me through ren & stimpy on saturday nights in the valley...

Monday, January 08, 2007

My 80s Theme Song...

happens to be the same song I laughingly learned a routine to... in order to try out for cheerleading... That's right, get back on your chair and clean up the spit from your computer screen! 17-year-old, gawky, uncoordinated Diana Lambert actually tried out for the cheerleading squad in 1985... it was a mockery, but I didn't fall down, I didn't cry and I didn't kick myself in the head (the three big fears!)
Your 80s Theme Song Is:

Material Girl by Madonna

Crown Chakra Color!

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.
You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.
You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

Thanks Mary!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Dashboard Confessional

Today's Stars: Although others may truly believe that all is well, they cannot see what's happening behind your clever tongue and your sparkling eyes. It's not that things are going badly; they just may not be as good as you make them appear. Don't hold back too much or you might inadvertently set the stage for a minor emotional meltdown.
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Okay, I guess that means I gotta admit I'm feeling pretty sad... I'm sad that Tony seems so ding dang afraid of me (for pretty good reasons, I even have to admit) and that a resolution is not on the horizon for us. I'm sad that I've got so much to give and no where to put it. I'm sad that I look outside of myself for validation. I'm sad that I truly believe the Universe abhors a vacuum and yet I don't see the weighty gain from my weighty losses. I'm sad that some small part of me thinks I'm running away; alternately, I'm glad a large part of me doesn't believe that is True. I'm sad to leave the good parts of the Life we've created here. I'm sad to leave the happy Hannah memories of this space; I'm sad that unhappy Hannah memories even exist in my heart. I'm still so freaking sad that she's not here. I'm sad for the life her death has forced me to forfeit.
And yet, my clever tongue and sparkling eyes do tell the story of what's in me (what is me)... that sparkly, happy Self that can't be bothered to be bogged down by unhappiness. I do know the Secret, I know I shall receive exactly what I'm asking for, just as soon as I clarify in my OWN Self what that is, exactly. I'm so glad I'm willing to be led by my Spirit, I'm willing to do the Creator's bidding as my Life as diana. This too shall pass... all too soon!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

I Am Project

"Creating social awareness and changing society's distorted vision of women. Focusing on natural real women - true beauty."






Creating a book of real, unaltered women; to show true beauty in captivating photographs.

You know I'm already signed up!
Koren has already e-mailed me back, explaining their funds are not yet ready for her to travel to me, but I'm sure (hee hee, I feel like I've got some kind of inside track to the Creator) it will work out, so that this project will be a success and I will get to be a part of it.
I think I want to do my Tree pose, my favorite from when I modeled for David's artists group... (tangent!)
While thinking of a pose for me, one gentleman began to suggest, then withdrew, saying, "Ah, you wouldn't do it anyway" Well, pique my interest! "I can't deny you if I don't know what you're asking." I respond. "Well," he says, "I'd really like to draw you like this:" and he stands with his feet firmly planted and his arms outstretched over his head. I wholeheartedly agree to do the pose, with the understanding I'll have to drop my arms from time to time, but I could give a 1-2 minute warning before a 2-3 minute break. OMG! It is the most beautiful drawing I have of myself!! My tummy is all whirly swirly and you can see the goddess just bursting out of my being. The Tree of Life, I am!
The funniest part of the story actually took place months later, while having dinner at David's with the drawing group, my Aunt Donna comes over and wouldn't ya know it, her pastor is there having dinner, too! Reverend Harlan! she proclaims, much to my surprise, it's my artist buddy, the author of my favorite drawing -- and worse, she realizes her minister has seen her niece naked!! She was only embarrassed for a year or so, she's over it now ;)

Friday, January 05, 2007

The Mastery of Love

Gemini: Your spirits lift now that the Moon is in fiery Leo. You are still in a rather serious phase, but you can see the benefits of the inner work you are doing. You needed to dig into your own spirituality to find a new direction. The process is ongoing, but your returning optimism is certainly reassuring.
Today's Quote: The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand. - Frank Herbert
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And on that note, Karen happened to be online just a moment ago with enough time to chat a bit! A very rare and much appreciated treat! Through the conversation, she mentions the 4 Agreements, and specifically the principle: Be impeccable with your Word. I mention how Hayden is familiar with that book and it's principles, how much I use them as Mantras: Be Impeccable with Your Word; Never Assume; Don't Take it Personally; and Always Do Your Best. As we chatted about how we use Always Do Your Best in place of the (nonsense) word: "Try" & how I make sure to give myself credit for giving all 35% when that is all I have available. Right then I remembered, I own The Mastery of Love and have not yet read it, I quickly found it and discovered, much to my great joy and gratitude, the book is about LOVE from Self Love to Being Love in our relationships. What jumps out at me: ...how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that are our birthright, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital to loving relationships.
*Why "domestication" and the "image of perfection" lead to Self-rejection
*The war of control that slowly destroys most relationships
*Why we hunt for love in others, how to capture the love inside us
*How to finally accept and forgive ourselves and others
...when every action we take is an expression of Love ... Love in action can only produce happiness.
Whew! Off to read s'more! Thanks Karen for speaking for the Spirit!

Monday, January 01, 2007

On God's Menu

The Stars Today:
It's a good time to express your desires and wishes in direct, precise language. After all, most people aren't mind readers, and it's unfair to expect them to know what you've been needing all this time. Communicate!

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What a great day to begin my order for 2007!
My energy beats back inertia; I love myself enough to remain active
My body reflects my self love; my health is abundant
My home reflects my welcoming, embracing, loving, generous Soul
My home is my own refuge and respite for all who call upon us
My home is surrounded by beauty, both of nature and of Spirit
My cup runneth over...
My patience is boundless
My love is freely given
My heart is unbreakable
My faith is strong
There is always enough
There is always more
There is always... all ways
Plentiful is my life and Bountiful are my blessings
Thank you Gods (all of 'em) for our gifts, revealed to us at the perfect moment, the perfect fit for our needs/wants/desires/requests
I am worthy, he is worthy, we are worthy, YOU are worthy
Thank me for me, for constant re-creation & recreation

I dance and I dance...
for I am the Lord of my Dance says me

to be continually continued...

P.S. I can't wait to see my new home and my new volvo and my new LOVE!! yay me!!