I was responding to a post at AlwaysLearing & suddenly it became a vision statement about Mitch's mother... It deserves more exploration than the list is intended for, and perfectly in line with what this blog is for...
I guess I'm also looking for ways to attempt to repair my relationship with her as well. I've never had a good relationship with her personally because I march to a different drummer (her words) and I've been unpredictable in that sense.
__,_._,___
I'm at this kind of precipice-as-it-were with my MIL. I want to have a good relationship with her, especially as a gateway to my dead husband's family for my son. She doesn't get *me* let alone any feel-good, weird schtuff I'm doing to her only grandkids. I'm coming round to realize she still needs *us* - as a gateway to her dead son's family. It's a pretty important role, I'm only coming to realize as Hayden gets older and older before my eyes, to be grandmother to Mitch's kid. She deserves a chance to honor Hayden in her own way, as the kid he is, on whatever terms the two of them come up with.
And well, I sure thought her son was cool enough to marry and replicate, twice even!, so ya'd think I'd find something or other I'd like about his mother, too. I happen to think that Mitch picking me for the same things gives me a pretty dang good standing in her mind, too.
We've dealt with our years of pain in very different ways. Just as we once came together over a love of Mitch, I believe we can come together over a love of Hayden. We don't need to be the same, or even like one another's differences, to love the same person. She is awfully nice; misdirected and still awfully nice.
The unschooling thing, should become less and less of an issue as their topics of conversation mature and the focus of the relating becomes human to human instead of child to old person. Our way works for us and it's apparent. Hayden's easy to talk to, interesting and intelligent. His grandmother can figure that one out herself. Given the proper chance and channels.
It's up to me, I suppose, to get that set up. It's obvious I can hop in a car and get to LA without much problem ;) Her house is even an hour and a half closer than Spaceland & James.
I guess I'm also looking for ways to attempt to repair my relationship with her as well. I've never had a good relationship with her personally because I march to a different drummer (her words) and I've been unpredictable in that sense.
__,_._,___
I'm at this kind of precipice-as-it-were with my MIL. I want to have a good relationship with her, especially as a gateway to my dead husband's family for my son. She doesn't get *me* let alone any feel-good, weird schtuff I'm doing to her only grandkids. I'm coming round to realize she still needs *us* - as a gateway to her dead son's family. It's a pretty important role, I'm only coming to realize as Hayden gets older and older before my eyes, to be grandmother to Mitch's kid. She deserves a chance to honor Hayden in her own way, as the kid he is, on whatever terms the two of them come up with.
And well, I sure thought her son was cool enough to marry and replicate, twice even!, so ya'd think I'd find something or other I'd like about his mother, too. I happen to think that Mitch picking me for the same things gives me a pretty dang good standing in her mind, too.
We've dealt with our years of pain in very different ways. Just as we once came together over a love of Mitch, I believe we can come together over a love of Hayden. We don't need to be the same, or even like one another's differences, to love the same person. She is awfully nice; misdirected and still awfully nice.
The unschooling thing, should become less and less of an issue as their topics of conversation mature and the focus of the relating becomes human to human instead of child to old person. Our way works for us and it's apparent. Hayden's easy to talk to, interesting and intelligent. His grandmother can figure that one out herself. Given the proper chance and channels.
It's up to me, I suppose, to get that set up. It's obvious I can hop in a car and get to LA without much problem ;) Her house is even an hour and a half closer than Spaceland & James.
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