Diana VS Fear

I'd never seen fear like I did on his face, the other day in Taco John's. Death is a scary thing; Death has brought us together before. I can no longer be at the whim of my fears, I have found the courage to open myself to life, to remaining alive and feeling and growing. Yes, loss is painful; it is a scary, sad thing to think of what might have been... then, there is the realization of what Is Now and what is to be learned. Scary, but less scary than exciting; more joy than sadness. To have, to love, to share, to show, to Be in the moment creates more joy than any loss can ever take away. Be open to the miracle, it will come...

The evolution of David

Friday night, a dinner was planned at Spezia's in honor of Hannah's life with a whole mass of people. I received a message from David, who had obviously heard the news, offering to be with me, hold me, hold my hand, whatever I need... I called and asked him to meet me at the restaurant. He held my hand, held me and was there for me. I slept in his bed, with him in it, to great soulful comfort for 6 nights... we talked until the wee hours of every morning about everything including the tough, emotional "us" stuff. He showed incredible love for me, protecting me from the icky mojo of others, reminding me of my manners, accompanying me to funeral business, helping design the program, hosting company at his house, continuing his snide, under-the-breath comments to make me giggle, allowing me to snuggle and drool on his shoulder every night. His newfound courage is a gift from Hannah - he's still scared, hell I'm a scary girl - he's on his way to being braver than he ever imagined. He certainly didn't call me to date again, but being together is exactly what we both needed without knowing it... I guess it doesn't matter how it happened, just that it has. I love him and he loves me. He knows he has to work hard to regain my son's trust and he's up to the task. 10 minutes in love is still better than never at all.

I hope he's not busy rebuilding those walls while I'm recouping in the forest...

Holy horoscopes batman!

Your Tuesday Horoscope diana!
Today is good for giving your time, instead of just your money, to a volunteer effort. A close friend or acquaintance who wants to join you is the person you must consider for long-term relationship prospects.

Your Wednesday Horoscope diana!
Partnership bliss is on its way. An emotional agreement binds you two closer together. Focus on the future. A challenge to see things eye to eye applies only to the big picture, not the details.

Your Thursday Horoscope diana!
Passion reaches the depth of your feelings today. Look for a great exchange with a partner or close companion. If you are single, avoid any superficial interactions and connect on a deeper level with those who will listen.

Your Friday Horoscope diana!
More passion is yours for the taking, as someone admires you to the point of wanting to take care of you. Organize your day around a deadline; one is coming that needs great attention.

Your Monday Horoscope diana!
Partnership issues highlight your feelings of security within group situations. Look to salvage what is left of the relationship by focusing on boundaries. Blunt and to the point should be your chosen style.