TP: (Rockefeller) Building

Not my first trip to NYC, definitely my best!
PTSD be damned, I'm in NYC and
I'm gonna ice skate at Rockefeller Center ♥
Aaaah, mostly I remember being 25 and filled with possibility.
I long for that feeling... mayhap that's the true purpose of this project,
to rebuild what was lost, inside, by looking at what's still left, outside.

Unconscious Mutterings, 357

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. MacGyver :: Hayden
   
2. Garter :: belt
   
3. Wedge :: heels
   
4. Inches :: centimeters
   
5. Code :: breaker
   
6. Water :: Bruce Lee
   
7. Running :: Cool
   
8. Curly :: hair
   
9. Turkey :: gravy
   
10. Stupor :: drunken
    

TP: Building (Memories)

This building means something different to Hayden than it does to me...
For the entirety of Hayden's life, this has been the Washington Pavilion of Arts and Science, where his fun tank stopped for a fill-up. From playing with Mitch in the art room, to reminders not to touch banisters and elevator buttons (lest we infect Daddy with some foreign pathogen), to scary-then-fascinating dinosaur skeletons, to lifting a whole car alone, to gigantic movies in the cinedome, to the recent Rodin exhibit (where he came full circle from his babyhood trip to the Rodin Museum in Philly)...for me, the behemoth structure was the institution it was intended to be; this one for poor kids. Washington Senior High School students didn't need available, affordable parking. WSHS students didn't need an effective heating system, nor their coats (wearing them in class seemed disrespectful to the instructors) in the breezy-in-winter classrooms either. Tornado Drills at WSHS were a waste of time, to paraphrase my biology professor, Mr. Jackson, "If this building, in the center of town, is destroyed, there's nothing left in the city to live for." I'm honored I was able to take away my own meaning from this building's intentions; this building where we've all learned so much. I hereby edit only one piece of the cornerstone message, so that it relates to my own family and our memories of this sacred building:

The thing of most value and joy that takes place here is the flow of human interest. It is the spirit of the institution to be human in all of its activities. May the days spent here be filled to overflowing with scholastic attainment, courteous conduct, joy, and happiness, so that as the rest of the journey progresses, each life shall abound with gladness and our high school childhood days ever remain a happy memory.
Placed by old central pupils, June 16, 1932
Rededicated by Diana (Lambert) Jenner, WSHS Class of '86, 27 November, 2009

TP: Building (OMG Brownies)

Just another day at the office...
except this particular day called for a special order of Oh My God Brownies.
And indeed, they are so good you will say
Oh.My.God. I love you forever!
Unless you're like my Aunt Donna, she'll give you her share, & you'll say
Oh.My.God. How could you give this up? I love you forever! It's what I do best, infusing baked goods with love (more to come on this transformational journey). There's something magical about the raw baking materials coming together, much like a construction site, to build beauty for the inside of you, instead of the outside.

TP: Building (for Wolves)

Silly me, I thought I'd never have a chance to share this picture.
Quite a sight, a building surrounded by wolves.
Maybe they're intended to keep people out, I'm afraid they'd keep me in.
And they'd make my heiny clench each time I looked out the windows.
It wouldn't matter that I'd remind myself they're not real.
That's just what makes Venice Beach, well, Venice Beach -
it doesn't have to work for me, s'long as it works for you!

Catching up!

I know I've got 30 things to talk about in my repertoire, indeed I should be blogging them!
So today's a day of catching up and planning ahead.
And laundry. Lots of laundry.
And some Buddha Butt entertainment, just for you!
Yes, they make an application for that.

TP: Orange (Favorite Shirt)

One day in 2005, when Hayden was wearing his favorite Orange shirt (this one a gift from Jorgen), and Hannah was away on a Traaseth Adventure, a newspaper reporter came to speak to us about homeschooling. It was a not a particularly enlightening article; after all, it was the Argus Leader (Sioux Falls, SD) and I was the sole out-in-the-open unschooler East of the Missouri.
This shot of the two of us deep in battle on our Star Wars Chess Board was worth the experience!Hayden's on tip-toes in anticipation of my next move;
the one that will allow him to beat me soundly. again.

TP: Orange (Jake)

If you invited Jake bowling today (like we did in May),
he'd probably dress a lot like this.
And he'd look for an orange ball, too.
He's crazy about orange that way.

TP: Orange (Hugs)

The only thing brighter, in this world, than Jeff's orange shirt,
is his smile! ♥ When not drumming himself, He was hugging, and hugging, and huggingthis little girl, who is not his sister,
captured his heart so intensely, he could not stop hugging her!
She was such a good sport, I ♥ unschoolers

TP: Orange (James)

If you gotta have dirty laundry in your back window on a road trip, at least let it say something!
Like this here bright orange shirt of Hayden'sMary's right, sometimes you just need some more James in your life!
Take a listen here
while reading the lyrics:

Help comes when you need it most
I'm cured by laughter
Mood swings not sure I can cope
My life's in plaster (in plaster)

May your mind set you free
(Chorus: opened by the wonderful)
May your heart lead you on
May your mind let you breathe all of disaster
(Chorus: opened by the wonderful)
May your heart lead you on

These wounds are all self-imposed
Life's no disaster, disaster
All roads lead unto death-row
Who knows what's after

May your mind be wide open
May your heart beat strong
May your mind's will be broken
By this heart-felt song

May your mind set you free
(chorus: be opened by the wonderful)
May your heart lead you on
May your mind let you breathe all of disaster
(chorus: be opened by the Wonderful)
May your heart lead you on, may your heart lead you on
May your eyes let you see all of disaster
May your heart lead you on, lead you on
(Chorus: may your eyes be opened by the wonderful)
Set you free
(chorus: may your heart lead you on)
Lead you on

Good reason this band is so popular among unschoolers ♥
Thanks Tim & the Boys!

TP: Orange (Ninja)

For a boy who's lived a lot of life in a short 11 years,
His biggest Act of Courage, to date, is his ride on The Ninja.
The Orange Badge of Safety, a Rite of Passage.
This one's for Daddy.

TP: Orange (Pumpkin Pie)

I played along, for the very first time, I jumped right in and said,
"Yes, I wanna eat a pumpkin pie as fast as inhumanely possible!"
I was especially excited for the super-sexy-clothing-protectin'-garbage-bag. Mostly, I wanted free pumpkin pie; I got to bring the pristine uneaten other half home with me.
I didn't go for the scoop and slurp methods my male counterparts adopted.
I chomped and chewed and finally nibbled my pie. Mr. Orange didn't win first place, though he had the best cheerleader and was quite an entertaining pie-eating neighbor.

TP: Orange

I got a pretty cool gig in this here life o'mine:
resident baking goddess at Sunnyside Up, cafe extraordinare.
Another Bran specialty of mine is the Orange and Black (Carrot/Raisin) made in honor of our OSU Beavers, of course!Made for you with the very best ingredients, including lots of LOVE ♥

TP: (Time) Travel

Mama's got a new phone! An HTC Eris, named Eric.
Which means mama's got a new camera. 5 Mega Pixels.
We'll leave it at: thank god for camera fx applications!
I'll still be borrowing Hayden's EnV Touch with it's Schneider lens for more than impromptu shots.
This magic is called ToyCam: Toy Camera Emulator
Brings me right back to the yellowed memories of '70s photos!
If we traveled to 1973, this could be my mother's hand.
Back then, when pictures really looked like this,
my hand was smaller than Hayden's is now.
A long time ago, just yesterday.

Reflections of...

TP: Travel (w/Hannah)

This is the travel case we use for Hannah's Ashes. We've schlepped it all across the country, it continues to collect stickers and mementos of Hannah's Life.
This picture is from our most recent visit to Mitch's Ashes, in the cupboard at the San Fernando Mission.
It's quite cool to have a physical representation of Hannah's freedom to travel at will ;) I do wish we'd kept more of Mitch's ashes...
For a glimpse of the places Hannah's ashes have been, check out her blog: Hannah's Ashes.
Oh the journeys yet to be documented, Christopher Moore and Richard Bach included, are bubbling to the top of the blogging to do list ♥
If you're in need of some Hannah ashes of your very own, let me know, we'll figure out a way to get her to you without illegal use of the US Postal System ;)

TP: Travel (w/Ed)

This is my dad, Ed. He's the Travelin' Man in my life, my whole life. He left his home early, as early as he could lie about his age for work. He hit the road with the carnival at 14 and didn't settle down for another 10 years. A few of those were after he had a wife and kids; including me ♥
For all the cross-country travels he's done, June 2009 was his very first visit to the Pacific Ocean (Lost Creek Beach, south of Newport, OR).
He didn't admit this until we were leaving, though his tide-line marking and awe-struck demeanor gave him away much sooner.
Don't let that finger fool ya, I'm his favorite kid. He's tellin' me I'm #1.

TP: Travel (w/Carmi)

Last March, while traveling to visit the Grammas in Los Angeles, I discovered Carmi's blog and his Thematic Photographic project. His themes gave a whole new perspective to the familiar scenes.
This familiar scene happened to be a One Last Time in my life. Gramma Baby (Evangeline Venus Alcaraz) died September 22, and fate decided that Carmi's father would join her the very next day.
While internally processing my own grief for Mitch's Grandmother, Hayden's Great-Grandmother, and quite possibly the most intrepid person I'll likely meet in this lifetime, I quietly followed Carmi's delving into grief and that of his children. When I became brave enough to comment on his sadness, I realized I was brave enough to confront my own.
It's incredibly different to grieve a 91-year old woman who was fully cognizant of her life's end, than for Mitch at 32 or Hannah at 9.5.
The Acceptance stage flits in more easily, this time; I'm unwilling to admit that may be due to practice.

TP: Travel (w/Buddha)

Today alone, two young men have traveled away from my house, hearts heavy with love and longing for this lil guy, Buddha Goldfish ::::clown music::: Dawg.
A rescued bait dog to truckin' dog to family dog, he's 180* from where his breeders thought he'd be and right where he belongs!
He stayed in the first place because Chance fell in love; he stayed still because we've all fallen under his spell ♥ He's leaving (we all hope by Christmas) because CJ loves his dog and longs to have him back forever.
Just hours after Chance left, CJ's truck driving job brought him through Corvallis. The dog's love cup runneth over ♥ Two travelers under his spell. In the immortal wise words of Cesar Millan:

"Don't get the dog you want.
Get the dog that will change your life,
change who you are."

Buddha, you ARE that dog.

Thematic Photographic - Travel

Held on by the visor clip that says: Daughter, I love you very much, please drive carefully, lives this funny dollar that Scotty received as change. He immediately tried to buy a lotto ticket from the grocer's machine and, well, God was watching and denied the purchase!

I am comforted throughout my daily travels, with the mere idea that God does exist and s/he is watching. (note: I still have niggling doubts about any action taken by god/s, though existence and watching are just a tiny bit less doubtable in diana's world ♥)

Tuesday's Bakery Case Star

These were a barely-resistible temptation to my dairy-free (a.k.a. hive-free-face) life... Chocolate Sour Cream muffins with dried cherries and almond slivers...Check it out, up close and personal...
I got to sell the last one tonight, talkin up my own skillz - and my inability to eat my delicious creations - she'll be back for more!

Reading is Fundamental

I walked past this guy a few dozen times,
before peeking over his shoulder to see what he's reading...Aaaah, a student of wisdom ♥

Thematic Photographic - Red too

Red is a great reminder of my Blue day
We had breakfast at Sunnyside Up
Scotty and Chance readied to bring Holly to the airport
I walked to work, admiring the Autumn Beauty
and thinking how lucky this leaf has a place to land
and how lucky I am to come along and appreciate it
Holly has a place to land
and lots of folks to come along and appreciate her
Red days are better than the Blue ones.

Thematic Photographic - Red

When I was a Valley Girl (Yes, a real-live Valley Girl) we had a central fireplace. We lived quite indulgently, as Los Angeleans burning wood as our only heat source. Have you seen fallen trees in The Valley? Us either ;) Luckily, lots of imported wood chunks at the grocery!
'round here, there are lots and lots of fallen trees, right on our property... Renewable energy heat source ♥ Even if I've got a tendency to burn our fires RED hot! This is what happens when I throw a little Pine Tar Napalm into the fire.
Aaaah Oregon Pine... I didn't know what I was missing!

I gots me Pashmina!

When your friends go to Paris for their 25th wedding anniversary, sometimes they take the time to bring back the booty for their stuck-in-America friends... I'm so blessed! ♥
Pashmina is how you say "Freaking amazing silk scarf" in French. I learned me that, and now you know, too. You're welcome!

I also learned, so I can share with you, what this warning label on French cigarettes says:
Smoking will diminish your blood flow and provoke impotence.
Impotence. Provoke. Bwahahaha. tee hee. lol hilarious!

This little guy came home for Hayden.
No there's no message to Hayden there, merely an acknowledgment of his all-time favorite American slang;
combined with mama's favorite cartoon character = Nirvana!
He's already converted the design to stencil form, so be sure to keep an eye out on Hayden's upcoming (spraypainted) Art Projects.

You're FIRED!

okay, not really, but kinda...
A student requested I not be their interpreter anymore.
I'd melt into a puddle of goo, except I have just coached my boss through a similar situation.
That, and I'm practicing my Q-TIP principle every moment I can (and yes, it's hard not to take the frequency of practice moments personally!) and every moment I can't, for that matter ♥
It makes sense that not every interpreter is an appropriate representation of the Deaf client.
And it makes sense that a professional interpreter flow easily in and out of assignments.
Mostly it makes sense that none of this be Taken Personally.
And that is why it's easy for me to show up and work (almost) every day, doing the kick-ass job I know I can do. Even in the moments when I'm *not a match* I'm still kickin' ass!
----------------------------
*Quit Taking It Personally

Fresh as Dew

The Elixir of Life,
Water dropped carefully chaotic
onto Earth,
becoming a part of all We Are.

Car Talk

On a date with the boy, a really fun afternoon together,
shopping for birthday gifts, household supplies
and the ever-important Nerf Guns!
As we returned to Corvallis, Hayden noticed the sky's beauty
and offered to take a picture for me!
Yeah, sure, maybe he was worried what would happen
if I tried to snap and drive,
I prefer to remember it as the moment he understood
and supported Mommy's Photography Habit ;)

Holy Holly Days Batman!

We're so glad you've come!

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
-e.e.cummings

The world has been made a better place by the existence of this amazing being.
My life as a mother has shifted from knowing her, even from afar.
My soul has been awakened by her presence in my home. Her echos continue, sha-la-la-la-yeah!

Newly November

I ain't gonna do none o'dat fancy-pancy NaWhateverMo, however,
I'm bringing me to you as daily as possible for the whole month of November ♥
Here's our backyard as the month begins, life and death happening side by side.