A Whine with your Crackers?

Just a little one, really.
I discovered last night that all of my local friends, with whom I've discussed Twilight, to whom I offered my audio versions, every single one of them has already seen the movie. Even the ones who asked that we not discuss the movie because it absolutely wasn't going to be seen.
No one called to invite me.
Do I smell bad? Yes. I know.
Is it so bad you don't want to go to a movie with me? Apparently, yes again.
What's so bad about hanging out in a movie theater with me?
I even have the 50 cent bucket we could share.
Inviting me now is just pity (though I will totally take you up on it, Kat!).
I just don't get it...
Never mind, I published then bled... now I feel better.

Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude

My RockMy SelfMy GiftsMy BoyMy NeighborsMy New PresidentMy SavingsMy Man & My DogMy FireMy CompanyMy PieMy Neighborhood DecorMy Heart, warmed by You

This book is stalking me!

Anne sent me this book. By India, I could not take another word. Then Christine sent me this book, I immediately regifted it to Mary. I worked hard to put the EPL frenzy out of my universe. Months ago, I actually downloaded it. I had a pretty stinky attitude about it though, so when the Dare's MP3 player couldn't keep the tracks in order, I figured it was the gods on my side, proving this book is not for me.
Then after months of quiet, the book appeared on the counter of Sunnyside Up. For many days in a row, it stared at me, subliminally challenging me to confront my own self and just hear what it has to say, promising not to take it personally if I find nothing, merely encouraging me to seek the possibility of enlightenment between these covers.
As one who is striving to take a hint in this life, I took this one. I put the tracks on my (amazingly cute orange) EnV & viola! the tracks are organized perfectly ♥ I'm at India again, she's buggin me again and this time, daggumit, I'm making to Indonesia & home.
Then I'm gonna really look deep at those places in my psyche most irritated by this story. It will be an amazing exploration in itself. Then I'll write the author and explain what she's done to me. No matter what, I'm gonna learn something here, I just know it!

One Rebellous Meme

The rules:
A) People who have been tagged must[who want to might] write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question.

B) Tag 8 people to answer the questions.

1. How many songs are on your iPod MP3 player?
I've got 323 tracks on my phone, at least 25 of them are for the audio books I'm listening to (Eat Pray Love -- finally! and some David Sedaris) and I've not yet moved the new David Cook album (I'll listen while I walk Charlie later today)

2. What music would you want played at your funeral?
Though Skyline Pigeon seems to be our family's funeral song of choice, I'd like some Raffi please. The whole group should be sure to "Shake [their] Sillies Out"

3. What magazines do you have subscriptions to?
US News & Weekly Report, Nat'l Geographic, X-Box, Game Informer

4. What are your favorite scents?
coffee, bread, marijuana, lilacs, mama-milk-fed babies, fresh rain, cut grass, bonfires, Hayden's puppy-scented head

5. If you had a million dollars that you could only spend on yourself, what would you do with it?
I'd find that perfect Frank Lloyd Wright-esque Arts & Crafts house, complete with stone fireplace, and move it onto land south of Corvallis. While waiting to move in, I'd treat my family to a European tour. I'd hire Cesar Millan to train us to be better pack leaders for Charlie, then I'd get a blue mastiff puppy and we'd name it Sir Snarfs-A-Lot Purple Jennerson. And we'd all ride around in my vintage volvo station wagon, probably powder blue.

6. What is your theme song?
Almost any Amy Steinberg song :D Exactly, Wide Sky Life and Grieve, especially.

7. Do you trust easily?
Yes, but I'm increasingly philosophical about the failure of most people to be trustworthy, especially those in power or authority (politicians, doctors, etc).

8. Do you generally think before you act or act before you think?
I think before, during and after.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
One kid-hating-mama I encountered, though that has been turned into redoubling my efforts to be kind, sweet and loving to the kids in my life (hers included)

10. Do you have a good body-image?
I think I have a realistic body image; I'm learning more and more to accept and love and nourish the body I've got.

12. How do you spend your social networking (Facebook, etc.) time?
Thinking and typing ;-P

13. What have you been seriously addicted to lately?
I've no serious addictions, addictions should be lighthearted and fun! Like watching House, eating tacos de carnitas & drinking Mexican Coca-Cola, while knitting a bag for felting.

14. Why do people still believe in the supernatural?
There are still miracles in this world that are beyond our current human rationalization abilities.
...and face it, it feels good to think of someone/thing bigger than you, who is watching your life with mild amusement, and genuine concern (like the parent most of us never got to have...)

15. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?
Should I Stay or Should I Go -- The Clash

16. What’s your favorite item of clothing?
My red Privo slip-on shoes from Beth Fuller, which I've worn almost every day since late May!
(which I shall soon be replacing with these orange ones, only because I'm wearing them out!)

17. Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?
I'm famous for my love of RK bars! They're especially good when made with Earth Balance instead of butter (so as not to make me sick, sick, sick) with extra marshmallows.

18. What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
Without an obvious source nearby, I'd splurge on a date with the family -- a day at the beach or dinner and a movie or two :D

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
my glasses, my phone

20. What should you be doing right now?
This right here. Next comes walking the dog, loading the dishwasher and prepping the living room for the Solstice Tree.

1/2 Baked Life of Gods' Folly

If I could eat dairy, there'd only be three of these to sell! Chocolate Sour Cream muffins with Dark Chocolate Chips and Strawberries. These are fully baked. Oh yes. I'd eat them. As comfort. And joy. Comfort and joy. Tis the Season and all.
The other day I was in the knit shop, finally purchasing the pattern for the Lucy Bag and enough yarn to make one for Gramma Bunnie for Xmas, when I was once again Folly of the Gods for a few moments. I just love these times. There I am, happily reveling in some cool Hannah memories, thinking of the red scarves I'm making for the Jizo Ceremony; all in love with mothering a daughter, when I hear that voice. The voice of the Mother Who Hates Her Children, Especially the Daughter. When she & I attend the same homeschool functions, my heiny is in constant clenching spasms. I know I've gotta say something after hi! What can be said, really? I work to channel Mary Lewis. Yes, I actually said to myself "What would Mary do?" and it helped. Sorta. I smiled thinking Mary would do a much better job at this opportunity for kindness. I remembered Mary questioning my purpose in this mom's life. Like to be the bearer of the one kindness that shifts the tides of unhappiness from this woman's fragile straw-hut of a relationship with her kids. Like the one who consistently models kindness & joy in the face of her ugliness. Like the one who keeps standing in possibility for people to do better when they know better. I touched every skein of wool yarn in the place, taking my time to fantasize about what I really wanted to say figure out what kind thing I could muster the goodness to say. As I was leaving I smiled even bigger, and wished her a wonderful afternoon, reveling in her childlessness. Oh she says I wish I was here joyfully, I'm here because I hate my kids and need to be away from them right now. Well, I stammered, Hannah's face flashing before my eyes and You Ungrateful Bitch dancing on my tongue, even that is a gift, I continued, y'know, being able to acknowledge how you're feeling and to have the support to actually doing something about it. Tears stinging my eyes, my heart about to leap itself onto 4th Street, I don't think I'll survive. I suppose so, she grumbled, my husband's pretty great. I breathed & Flash-dreamed about killing her, then said, at least this way they're not getting drowned in the bathtub and you've no reason to be put in jail. Sounds like a win/win situation. Hope you go back with better feelings after your knitting break! And I ran like the wind. Out to my car on shaky legs and one super clenched heiny. I'm still not unclenched.
I may never recover. Then again my recovery chances are greater than her kids.
Making pink mashed potatoes (beet juice) with my kid, whom I do not hate, helped my mood immensely.

Diana Tragedy

When I was 13-or-so and I had my first boyfriend, Dean Herzog, there was a new movie, Guyana Tragedy. Dean's little brothers heard the title and my new name was born. They'd cry, "Trag is on the phooooooooone" when I called. As if we needed help in making this ritual more awkward. We never did drink Kool-aid together.
So, today, on the 30th anniversary of the Real Guyana Tragedy, I think of those who died for what they believed to be True. And how scary the Truths seem in the light. I think, too, at how far we have yet to go on this journey of emotions in the name of the church in the favor of a fickle god. Jim Jones may very well have been reincarnated as a neo-con political zealot, having perfected his skills since last time. I think of the babies, without choice, without articulation of their own Truths. I could easily be sad, though I'm not...

I breathe.

And I ponder how a world might taste if we all honored one another as human BEings...
I'd like to find out.

With me lately...

I'm not sick. Anymore. I'm feeling some serious gratitude for my immune system. It is forced to work inordinately hard when I overload with dairy. I know that. You can see it on my face, literally. Add to that one simple little germ and BAM! I'm sick. For the first time in memory. Sorry immuno-dudes, I'll be nicer to you -& me- from now on.
Lucky for all of us, my germiness did not interfere with the money making roll I am on right now! I got sick just *after* one interpreting assignment (why didn't I think that exposing myself to an entire campus of young adults just might impeach my ability to fight off their germs?? Emergen-C anyone?) and recovered enough to work again last night. There was one word that just plain got stuck in my phlegm-y throat; in my defense it was in Spanish, every time I opened my mouth to say it, I choked, literally. I was forgiven -- Bonus! I've got all of next term to redeem myself ;)
Perfect timing, too! I desperately need to brush up on my skills de Espanol, so I can communicate more freely with my favorite taco making family down the street - Tacos Uruapan. Where I am the favorite Gringa in the world!! I needed tacos Saturday night. From the bottom of my sick & snotty soul, I had to have Carnitas and Mexican Coca-Cola to cure me. I pulled up a full hour before scheduled closing time, only to see mama y papa flipping off the lights... misery abated when she saw my face and turned everything back on, to get me las comidas! I worked hard to express my gratitude in my pidgin ways and they expressed theirs in their reverse pidgin ways ♥
It's easy to communicate my love of carnitas... it was tougher to explain how much I love Coca-Cola de Mexico -- No Corn Syrup!! Yes, that's right, the label reads: SUGAR!
AND I had two kick-ass nights of baking. Corvallis is the luckiest town EVER ;) to have such amazing goodness right in that there bakery case! It helps that Bre's mama made new aprons for us to wear and I'm loving them very mucho!
I've still got pictures to post of the month's beginning's Non-Con, our trip to Grande Ronde & the kids I borrowed from there.... I shall catch that tail of mine! I shall! For now, I will greet Scotty at the door, where he'll be appearing with some KFC (Guitar Hero meals = Hayden's favorite food!) and a new silly redhead for me to meet, any minute now...

Hamburger and Helper

Our boys. Their days are numbered. Halloween's past and Thanksgiving's a-comin'. They'll soon be burgers and birkenstocks. I'm grateful for every day.
Early October, we introduced The Boys to Charlie. They weren't exactly sure what kind of cow he is;
Charlie had no idea what kind of dog they were!So, he went ahead and claimed a bit of the field for his own personal crapper.
We're hard at work on those manners.They're trusting and curious about we humans, too. We've begun feeding them fallen apples from around the neighborhood. I daresay we've become quite popular ♥ That's Helper on the left, Hamburger on the right. They mooed when I came outside and ran to the fence at full speed. Luckily, Scotty and Charlie had brought home apples from an earlier walk. After months of reading Ree, over at Pioneer Woman, I throw myself into photographing (and occasionally filming) my (temporary) bovine neighbors. Like this super special space effect, one of my favorites! A sepia setting just seems to be made for photographing cows. See: They even pose better for portraits, once I tell them I've turned on this filter.
HelperHamburgerIt was bound to happen. I was destined to bear witness to the inevitable. I was unsuspecting, as they rushed the fence for some attention. And BAM! It began...and continued...The Big FinishAnd the nuzzle of gratitudeNow, I am not so proud to present to you the 2008 Bovine Porn wunderfilm: Super Sexy Space Cows from Space. Shot, amazingly and entirely, by my wunderphone.

The right candidate won...

How do I know?
Aha!
Not what you think:
After his acceptance speech, when the families joined them, Barack was coaxing Malia to walk out with him. She didn't want to. He walked to the front of the stage and stood there with an unidentified woman, looking back for his daughter frequently. When Michelle came out, there was a "passing off" and he returned to his daughter's side.
Yessiree! Turned his back on the Jubilant crowd and attended his child. She did then join him at the front of the stage, with the teeny-tiny bit of energy the poor girlie had left to give. It seems to me she feels he's deserving of that last smidgen.
It would be truly AntiAmerican not to love a daddy like him.