This is the vision I hold for my Life in Corvallis. Hanging out with Kelli & Mary with some kick-ass coffee and big ol' smiles.
That is a vision I will continue to hold for my Life in Corvallis.
This whole
having cool friends in the same town experience has been newly awkward for me. I was just thinking of this a moment ago... I've often scheduled friends, while family tends to just pop over. Actually we saw our friends regularly at scheduled events and sporadically scheduled in between. (
Is that a homeschooler thing?) Hanging out with unschoolers has, until Corvallis, meant driving 6 hours to Kelli's house (or even farther to other unschoolers' homes) and having a full-on immersion visit for a few-many days ♥ or far
more hours of driving to an Unschooling Conference, again for a full-on immersion; both result in lots of in-between isolated times. It was the strangest sensation to realize this condition has become a choice; a valid one, yes, and for the first time a valid
choice among many. Whoa.
Choice. There it is again.
I've taken a close look at friendships these last many days & I've been shown some amazing examples of the power of my own intent. First, thanks Kel, for having an eye-opening, earth-shattering dilemma; the ripples here are
mostly much appreciated. Mary, I am your newly deemed Latte Schlepper ♥ It's the least I can do, to come absorb your new house vibe! And Tena, thanks for the card and the many crazy years we've evolved along together! Cards aren't a one time thing - this was a great surprise to receive again, today (in pile form ::bg::)
To use Cesar's analogy, I've been the unstable member in a pack of local homeschoolers. I attended a meeting with the moms at the peak of my emotional instability (think last week of February). I was sent into such a tizzy, I vowed never to return and
never to expose my son to these well-intended-yet-crazed-&-judgmental people. (guess what energy
I was projecting? anyone?) I have strong memories of my
reactions to their concerns. My
projected judgment they'd use on my son's behaviors (including his hobbies and vocabulary). Instead of seeking my own emotional reconciliation, I chose avoidance
with a vat of wallow, on the side please. It was my attendance at a second group in town, where I noticed that here, where the parents are far more loving and gentle, so understanding of the free life principles, my triggers were still being pressed. Wait a freaking minute!! It's ME?! Fucksnot. I'm running a bit too parallel to the guy on the roof, waiting for God to save him and turning down all human assistance. Okay, fine, I'll
begin to take a hint.
So I went to Central Park on Mother's Day, to stand in solidarity with Mamas everywhere. There was a big gathering of local women, some with their partners, some with their families. I offered Hannah to Leah, who stood beside me in circle. She also is with the Mother/Daughter duo who enjoyed the sunny day at the park. My tour guide du jour, Michelle, tucked her into her bra and I had to chuckle at the appropriateness of that placement, my breastmilk lovin' babe! I was invited to join the Raging Grannies - a political singing group -
okay, get back in your chair, no they did not ask me to audition hee hee hee I can at least help them flip the lyrics, bring some fresh, hip perspective to this Weird Al Gore (is that funny?) thing they got going on, I guess they're really popular ♥ - and I hear tell there's a girl in town I have to meet, with whom I shall find all that I seek for outlets in Corvallis. I'm not sure what that means exactly, I think the ladies feel we'll get along splendidly or sumsuch. I mention moving here for the specific homeschooling community, the unschoolers. Boy was there a reaction from Michelle! (She brought us all one of
these ♥) She's got this amazing story and I can't wait to hang out with her some more!
Then I told Mary that I'm sorry I don't go over
for with coffee. I was waiting. Instead of enjoying the here and now. Me!
harrumph or however you spell it.
I'm on a roll. I don't actually make it to Raging Grannies; they might just expect that I can sing. And they meet Tuesdays at
Noon. xP
On Wednesday, however, I get a message that another
new unschooler we know from some of the coolest lists on the internet, is in town with many of her children. They're moving to a ginormous home, 40 minutes from Corvallis, from the home they're selling in Montana. With 9 kids, 5 grands, 2 daughters in law and soon her husband's parents.
For Kathleen, for the opportunity to revel in her light, in person, well, that's about the only thing worthy of facing my *F.E.A.R.s and returning to the aforementioned homeschool group's playdate (this time at a huge, beautiful park, the second week of
May!)
with my kid and his waterballoons. I breathed a lot. A lot more. I chatted some. Breathed. It was sunny and beautiful and, as always, green green green. Lots of oxygen for breathing.
I got the best surprise, meeting Kat! She just moved here with her beautiful kids, from VA. They have a creek in their backyard, can't wait to go play :) She's friends with a Sunnyside Up regular, who also happens to be part of the SafeBirth movement, who didn't read my blog until Kat-still-in-VA, who I'd never met, recommended it to her. Small freakin world.
Kathleen and brood arrived not long after I did. Her Levi and Hayden were an instant match (Levi'd been up til 3 leveling his WoW character). I relaxed, we all sat and chatted. Olivia is my new friend. Yep add her to
my collection of favorite humans. She's on the lookout for the perfect dog for me ♥ Tycen, oh my goodness, is the image I always held in my mind as "Mitch's Son" - the poofy hair, the big head, the strong face, football catchin' hands! - it blew me away!
And there was a moment. I my belly sank with the acknowledgment of my creation of this moment. Bleck. It hurt and pounded, as moms and kids surrounding my kid, his new friend
and his waterballoons. There they were, the moms who said tolerated violent talk (including cursing in any form), let alone physical play perceived-violence of any level, they would withdraw their families from the group, right there, looking at my kid and talking to him about his behavior. This whole brigade, to ask Hayden to only throw balloons at kids who have given their permission
first. Fair enough. Then the kid-complainants lined up for Hayden to give them filled waterballoons. I kinda mentioned the mixed signals going on, though mostly I just breathed away that pit in my gut and stuck closer to Hayden, helping tie the balloons and making sure there was wetness consent from those now in
The Waterballoon Zone.
A happy wrap up, though I let some fears and chattering continue in my own head...
Which actually let to a true, deep release and happy wrap up when I met Sara. When I described my reaction to the situation, she stood in the place of their friend and nudged me out of my stuckedness and into a better perspective on the whole thing. Thanks Sara ♥
Levi and Hayden got to extend their goobyes and plan for the future meetings. What a treat it will be to have them so close!
So today, my local friends and I will not be popping over or visiting, we'll be busting our humps (Mary more than me) to get stuff ready for this crazy
Conference & beyond!
Good thing I'm doin this thinking before more friends arrive... great chance to practice my quiet presence in the moment ♥ Peace. Another valid, valuable choice. And then I saw these and I knew...
All is well.
Exactly.
Third grade, 1976, I stood in the corner of the playground at Hawthorne Elementary, repeating the titillating Super Swear Words (shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits (bonus words: fart, turd & twat) I'd just learned from George Carlin. Yep, I was that kid, the one who taught the rest of the neighborhood what they were desperate to know ♥
