Be, Do, Have -or- the shot to my own foot wasn't pleasant

Responsibility. Can't escape it. Even if you work very hard to avoid it, it's still yours. Yours to screw up by avoidance or to manage with presence and attention. Egads. I'm ending my 40th year and this is an aha moment for me. There's not going to be anyone swooping in, anytime soon, to take over the parts of being a responsible human that don't seem to sit as comfortably on me as they do on others. Most others. I'm weird. I know it. I also know I'm capable of responsibility. I'm capable of having a better quality of conversations, and thereby expectations, of myself. So I've got sand in my oyster. I am shifting my way over to find balm for the irritation I feel within myself. I'm amazed as the inner sociologist watches me create situations where I'm worthy of shitty self value and I go out of my way to prove myself right. Okay, that's skewed. Even for me. Why? Ah, yeah, another shift, another agreement dissolved, light shown upon another shadow. Forgetting Everything's All Right -- yeah, that.
A wake up call. An awareness. A beginning tingle that started as a wrenched tummy and became an empowering force of action (the antidote to despair). The consequence of said lack of responsible focus may be felt for a while, the presidential kick-back (anticipated this week!) will ease a bit of the tension, though solving nothing. Thanks anyway. See? I'm shifting to gratitude. I am. I just forgot, I Am Gratitude. I live, breathe, express and enjoy immense gratitude in my life. I am truly blessed beyond my own understanding. I gotta let my light shine further.
I think I'll jump rope some more before I go to work. I'll practice saying nice things about myself and watch the universe take steps to prove me right ♥

and a completely unrelated video to remind me of happy. Disneyland, the happiest place on Earth, 2006. Lucky for you, that's Joanna singing, not me ♥