Sunday, May 13, 2007

Dear Anonymous,

I'm feeling just pissy enough to take you on today!
(like really, really pissy!! *Consider yourself warned*)
I hate anonymous comments. I allow them, because I know what a PITA Blogger is to some folks who don't want a profile. I still expect you to accept credit for your words and sign your name. Be impeccable with your word. Say it because YOU need it said, not 'cause you're a chicken shit. (you've got an identifiable IP addy, I know who you are!)

On to the issue at hand:
Anonymous said...(on Saturday's post about FRIDAY night's baseball game)

"Iam glad you and your son had a good time but I think you forgot a very important day for J. She is very hurt that her "sister" didn't come to her shower."

I didn't forget J's day, I told her my son needed me at the exact moment she called. When he was fine, I was happily distracted by a brand new baby and a very tired new mommy. Babes before Brides, that's my new motto. So hey, let's hash it out...
Especially as I do harbor some ickiness towards the whole J's very important day thing. Okay, fine, I admitted it.
I wanted her in my wedding - her family didn't come to Vegas. My Goddess, I wouldn't have survived parenthood, let alone widowhood (esp the first few years), without our J... our family can never repay the Gift her presence to us. My children really and truly consider her their Aunt, not mommy's cousin. I heard of her engagement moments after it happened, we were ecstatic for her, for them. Imagine my shock, surprise and bruised feelings when she announced her attendants -- not me! I did get offered a shitty bouncer job, which I happily refused. My kid didn't get offered any job, not even a shitty one. Yeah, I breathe deep and listen to the wedding plans. I know I don't want my shittiness to dim the joy and the glow of D and B's only daughter's wedding. So I don't bring it. Which this week, means I don't bring me. I'm full of shittiness lately and it sucks. Be glad I didn't come to share.
I don't know what the answer is. I plan to show up and have a great time at a wedding I really do want to celebrate. I will avoid the H-family table, as there always seems to be a bounty of perfect-life critics there, waiting to pounce on my next imagined opportunity to embarrass the family (yeah, I know what was said at T's wedding - and, well, next time leave your shittiness at home) Or maybe I'll find myself overwhelmed by my own shame at being "never good enough," maybe I'll find I'm unwilling to subject my son to the same-said crazies, maybe it'll all be just fine and all this aarrgghh is for naught.
Maybe someday, I'll have my sister back... that will be a very happy day.

7 comments:

Hoffman's said...

You shouldn't have bruised feelings about not getting asked to be in the wedding. I was not asked to be in it either. I am happily taking a "shitty" job at her wedding so that I am at least involved. As for your son not being asked to be in the wedding that is a load of crap. He was going to be in the wedding but he told Jojo that he didn't want to and you weren't going to make him do it. As for you not coming to her party, noone had any idea as to why you weren't there. As far as jojo she didn't seem to know either. Please don't feel like we are perfect life critics, we aren't we just don't agree with or understand your lifestyle and choices. We don't have to either. We apologize for not signing our names to the first one.

hahamommy said...

Our Horoscope today (monday):
Watch your mouth or you could find yourself in hot water. It's hard to control the impulse to blurt out the first thing that crosses your mind, but give it the old college try. Someone else's example shows you the way.

hahamommy said...

I don't know who wrote this is so I can't be too harsh but I, as your friend, didn't understand your life choices either...confounding, odd choices...but instead of judging, I looked into it and researched it and read your blog and the blogs of others like you and it helped me to come to love and fully understand your choices!!! TA-DA!!!! Love brought about change! even tho' I can't be like you I can totally respect your life-choices and support you in them...why can't your family, your OWN FAMILY take the time to do this??? It would be judging to call this ignorance, but what else could it be?????

LOVE ANYWAY!

christine

hahamommy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hahamommy said...

this sitch is like a fecking toothache I can't keep my tongue from checkin' out!
I just confirmed with Hayden, he was NOT asked by Joanna to be in the wedding and to that imagined response he replies: "I would never say that to Jojo!!" and is now asking if there may be a job left for him to do for the wedding ("can't they have three ring bearers?")
He's really sad that he rejected his role in T's wedding after Hannah died...

Hoffman's said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
hahamommy said...

Well I as another friend can only say this. Bite me anonymous. If you werent so unhappy with your own life you wouldn't be picking on others about their lives. Shame on you. This woman has lost the love of her life, her life mate, her best friend, and lost her first born, her only daughter who would have grown up to be her mom's bff. Instead of rolling up into a ball and going insane, she has made her and her son's life an adventure. She is teaching him to love life and appreciate how little control we have over that time. She is teaching how to grieve for his loses and still let his light shine through as well as her own.

You don't have to understand her choices, I don't. She doesn't understand yours or mine for that matter, the difference is that she would call you on your shit in person, loud and clear or she would accept that you are not her and let you live her life. I feel sorry for you and your family. While Diana has lost so much in live, she just wants to help the world be a better place for everyone but especially kids. You, what kind of losses have you dealt with and what have you done with them? Anything good or productive?

By the way, my name is Tena. If you have any problems with me, why don't you let me know and we will discuss it.