Reconciliation

I think that's what I should deem this emergence process I'm in. I'm reconciling how the mama who knows, espouses and believes all the reality of freedom, has found herself so stressed out by the current living situation (AH! I need to paint my feet with the Henna I have left over from Life is Good!! **whew!**) that I'd prefer to limit my son than evoke the wrath of George (who blames his pain). Which causes a huge ripple in my reality, obviously in the reality of my entire universe. I so look forward to having a kitchen right where my kid is. To be in proximity. To be present. Reconcile that the woman deeply in love with Scotty is not open to him. To make that okay. To know that my emergence includes intimacy. There's not a fix. There's not a help-through. There just is. And even this is whole complete and perfect, in the scope of the evolution of diana. I gotta know that I can work through the tears. The memories will stay. I can enjoy them instead of being tortured by them. The happy girl can be sad, really really fecking sad. AND she can still be diana. AND she's still fragile. AND she's screaming to be released. and I am so glad to know I'm not alone. I am better today. I've got a few more % available, and I'm givin' it all! I gotta rock and roll. I gotta represent. Not because I gotta, because I choose to be authentic. I choose to quiet the evil chatter (volume control for now, pink slips when I'm better rehearsed). I welcome my team. C'mon girls, there's wine and boxes and Gwen Stefani ::bg:: Mary even gets a glass in my head ;) I am loved. I am Love. Life is Good. Amen.