I'm still awake...

aarrgghh!! I've had the damnedest time getting sleep this week, tossing and turning... that fecking cat keeps poking at me when she knows I'm upset... Hayden's actually asleep before me :) - about an hour ago. He came into my room around 2, surprised I was still awake, just to check on me ♥ When he saw that I was sad, I reminded him that today is that one day at Spezia's, ya know, when we had to take Hannah to the doctor? He gave me a really big, REAL hug. We snuggled for a bit (thinking we may pass out together in my bed - you can see the tv from there = appealing to the Boy) and I realize how physical I was with Hannah and how I haven't been with Hayden... til now ;) He didn't like my bed, so we switched to *Daddy's Chair* but alas, it's been a mighty long while since the days I could sleep in a la-z-boy with both my kids!! We were really cramped, but snuggling in Mitch's chair with Hannah's blankie was great therapy for us both, no complaints :) I actually watched him fall asleep, got up quietly and smoothly, tucked him back in and have been wondering what the heck to do with myself ever since...
Honestly, it feels like if I start to cry I'm not gonna stop...
and if I don't cry, I'm not gonna get sleep...