Ode to Jared

1. What is your favorite color? What wavelength of light is that?

Green Light

The visible green light has a wavelength of about 510 nm. Grass, for example, appears green because all of the colors in the visible part of the spectrum are absorbed into the leaves of the grass except green. Green is reflected, therefore grass appears green.

2. You see a mother duck with 6 ducklings crossing a busy street. What do you do?

I dunno... I might just run them over in my Darwinistic need to eliminate stupid ducks from this world. OR I might just jump out and redirect callous drivers around the *we were here first* fowl. Depends on the day. Depends on the star and planet alignment of the hour.

3. Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? Why?
For all the people I've *not* loved, I imagine it's worse for them. Having lost folks I love, I'm still convincing myself that having loved them in the first place is better than never. I'm not convinced, but it helps me sleep.

4. If I asked you for one night stand what would you say?
Shall I really talk about the ways this makes my skin crawl?? Let's leave it at: You're married. If you were talking to me about a one night stand with someone NOT your first cousin, I'd still say: You're married. Even if you don't respect it, *I* will.

5. What is your favorite sandwich?
That sammich John made for me yesterday was pretty dang good! I'd say any sandwich NOT made by me, a gift sammich -- those are TRULY the best.

6. How can you say you've taken any trouble to live when you won't even try to dance?
We trust YODA at our house. Dance or Not Dance, there is not try. I'm a dancer.

7. Where is the above question taken from?
Right off your MySpace blog, silly!

8. Your loved one must die or 10,000 must die… which would you choose?
Aw FUCK! My loved ones died AND 10,000 innocents die AND in a senseless war -- Death sucks for the living (I do imagine it's pretty dang cool for the dead, though). Not a choice. Everyone dies anyway. So, if the question were: Your loved one can be immortal or 10,000 can be immortal... which would you choose? Then my answer would be 10,000 immortal; I'd never wish immortality on a loved one. I've seen the Highlander too many times.

9. What would your loved one want?
I have such weird loved ones! They'd demand some kind of choice in the matter!!! Being their loved one, I'd probably give it to them.

10. Have you ever completely read the bible? Have you read any other religious text?
Yeah and it's funny it doesn't say what most people think it says. I've also read the Book of Mormon and lots of Jehovah's Witness paraphernalia. Haven't gotten my hands on a Koran --yet! I've read lots of Buddhist texts, too, not in their original context nor entirety.

11. Do you believe in Angels?
YEAH! I even drove all the way to Anaheim to see them play. I was really hoping to see a game between the Angels and the Twinkies when I lived in Cali... didn't happen. I did get to see the very first game between the brand spankin' new expansion team Colorado Rockies and the Dodgers. With Aunt Donna even!

12. How do you envision heaven?
I like Mitch's picture: Taco Bell with Beer and Good Entertainment. Mine is close, as I want to be near him, even after death. I'll be in the Bob Marley/John Lennon section :D

13. How do you envision hell?
I've heard her described as pink and grey and a bit slimy. Odin had a hard time looking at her, so in an effort not to offend his good friend Loki, he gave her an Underworld job of taking souls from the sick to the Next Place. So yeah, Mitch and Hannah both were cared for by her. By the way, she prefers the original spelling Hel. As in Helen, our gramma.

14. Everyday you see jaywalkers from your house… Do you call 911 on them?
I would certainly hope, even in podunk Souf'akota the cops have better things to do. I would, though, like to call 911 every time I see a driver refuse to yield to pedestrians in a crosswalk (FYI- every street corner in SF is considered a crosswalk). Too bad it's only a $25 dollar fine without moving violation.

15. Your Ex invades your residence and then threatens you. Your Ex is intoxicated. After being taken away to jail, sobers up and calls you… Do you bail your Ex out?
Ex what?? Ex boss? probably not. Ex boyfriend? NOPE. Ex husband? Nah, I'd never have an Ex Husband, I prefer them dead.

16. Your neighbors are being loud… what do you do to get them to be quiet?
Get naked and jump in the hot tub. They'll either shut up or call the police on themselves. Win/Win.

17. If you could invent any type of ice cream what would it be?
Thanks to Ben and Jerry I don't need to worry about this. All the good stuff's covered! Oh wait, I'd make Ice Cream from Human Milk!! Far better for all of us ('cept maybe the poor women who would be filled with hormones to keep the milk coming to meet the demand of all those poor mama milk deprived folks in the world!!)

18. What is your sign?
Yield.

19. How far could you walk if you had to (best guess)?
Just as far as I had to. In the So. Cal. preparation for earthquake days, Mark DiFonzo predicted it would take Christine and I six weeks to walk from Beverly Hills back to the San Fernando Valley (over a couple of HUGE mountains). If I was getting to my kids I'd get there twice as quick and with far more energy (thanks adrenal glands!). If just for me, I'd stay at the first cool place I encountered. Probably not far from where I began. Oasis!

20. What is the meaning of life, in one sentence?
To live.

Helpful Horoscope -- Daily Om

June 29, 2007
Attentive Interactions
Gemini Daily Horoscope

You could find it difficult to pay close attention to what others have to say today which could be because your mind is elsewhere. Even though it is difficult to always be attentive in conversations, it is also important not to let your mind sidetrack you so that you are not fully present to the people you are with. Perhaps this would be a good time to use active listening that is, repeating what the other person has said before you add your own thoughts, ideas, or opinions in your conversations. The practice of active listening may seem simple at first, but it involves truly listening to another person – not only to their words but also to the meaning behind them – and responding in a suitable way. Doing this even for a few minutes in your interactions today could keep you from daydreaming and help you really focus on the other person.

Active listening trains us to remain in the moment in our interactions. While it is normal for our minds to wander, when we are not present to what is being said, it won’t take long before communication will break down. We can, however, redirect our wandering minds through active listening, for the act of repeating another person is filling us with their words – in essence making them our own. The more you bring a greater level of awareness into your interactions today, the greater amount of focus you will have, and more positive and fulfilling your conversations will be.

Even at 2:30 am it's accurate!

Gemini: It can be hard to feel lighthearted, especially if you can't shake a gnawing sobriety that follows you around today. It isn't going to go away until you acknowledge your feelings, even if they might bring you down. If you are sincere about what is important now, the fun times will return in a few days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then again, there's always hope:
Gemini:Are you feeling ever so slightly anxious about an offer you've passed up recently? Well, put those worries to rest! The stars say you're about to get a second chance. Make sure you pounce on it this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope my new Daily Om horoscope is a happy one! We're heading out to Iowa in about 12 hours, to spend the weekend with Scotty's family (his sister is coming in from England and his brother will drive over). We really don't need to be dealing with my craziness. Meaning=I need to get over my craziness and have an open, loving weekend.

Whirling Devish

Yeah, I know it's a whirling dervish for you; for me and Scooty, it's just one more oddity in our commingled pasts...
So we were chatting about Scooty's Dad's missing finger and I reminisced about the day my friend's dad, Dale Devish, lost his hand in a wood splitter. Musta been the summer I was 12? Scotty's face froze. Dale Devish was his father's supervisor at the welding place for years when we were little. He, too, remembers that incident.
It all goes back to when I was about 10, I visited Judson Memorial Baptist Church with my friend Becky. There, I met Arlin Devish, also 10, who happens to be Deaf. Interpreter services were seriously lacking circa the year of our lord 1978, hence nary a signer to be found around this kid; nope, not even his parents (look around, last I heard it was about 10% of Hearing parents with Deaf kids ever learn ASL). So I did! The Devish Family provided transportation for us every Sunday morning. Included me in many family events; made me welcome in their family. Just as I had mastered my abcs and "Jesus Loves Me" Aunt Darla got a job with CSD and was taking ASL classes. I went along. No one said anything about the cutie-patootie 10-year-old who just wanted to sign and obviously had a knack for language. By 16, I was getting paid as an interpreter; far better pay than the $3.35 minimum wage at the time. I never lost contact with these folks, still get a Christmas card when they've got my current address. It was at their church I first encountered homeschoolers - yeah, the stereotypical religious kind, I still got a glimpse of what was possible. When Mitch was sick, I was working for their church. They often included us in their prayers as a congregation. In fact, the morning of the day Mitch died, I was with these wonderful people as we collectively asked God to lead Mitch safely and happily Home again.
Scotty, too, learned to communicate with Arlin via fingerspelling. Their fathers not only worked together, were also great friends. Time spent at their little farm in Crooks. Where I also spent time.
How did we not meet? Boy are Dale and Lois gonna be shocked to discover this connection! It's about time for me to contact them anyway...

Plan of Action in Action!

How to create your own religion in 10 easy steps!
1) Create a God. Me. Check.
2) Make it in charge of something people already focus on Sex or Kids?
3) Make it something that people will be reminded of frequently. See #2
4) Make it easy for them to "buy into" the worship of your New God. Easy, Be Nice. Check.
5) Make it ambiguous.
6) Establish some standards by which the God should be referred to diana is fine. Check.
7) Make cool symbols. *Swirlie* Check.
8) You need an opposing force. Baby haters. Check.
9) You need to confuse everybody. No problem! Check.
10) The Big Reward. Oh yeah! Check.
11) Get The Word Out! :) Check.

Oh, I'm scheming now! An in-depth plan awaits the world :::bwahahahaha:::
There's a reason I woke up with Pinky and the Brain ringing through my head this morning ;)
Thanks Mary!

Manifesting Greatness

Introspective, one might call it. Quiet with myself. Knitting is good for that. I'm not often without my own loudness. It's a nice break.
Though it comes with costs.
I'm not terrifically social. I'd like to be. It seems I need an extra kick in the pants if you want me to leave the house. I don't even really want to be on the phone. Maybe related to the lack of reception in the most of my apartment, maybe it's just me. Yeah, not having sex either. Not even by myself. Strange, even for me.
I only juggle one big issue at a time. This cycle it's finances. I'm open and honest with myself about what *is* and I'm becoming clear in my creation of what is next. This is a big step. I opened all mail from the banks for two weeks. I breathed through that conditioned angst, visualized the transfer of monies from savings to checking. Viola! Notice of a $1 fee for account transfer! I knew accepting the responsibility for big monthly rent was gonna seriously crimp our meager budget. I knew committing to sustaining us with home cooking would help said budget. Both are true. Both are not stagnant. We'd have *more* food if I paid less for the mac & cheese. We'd have stockpiles of food we don't want to eat if I paid less for our food. It makes far more sense to buy what we're actually gonna eat; that means it mostly runs out at some point. Consumables, they're consumed and I find myself surprised. And sad. I move over to the pride of providing my family with food they actually like. Sharing food is a good thing. I'm learning that the trick to fast food is your money sneaks away just a few dollars at a time. It pains me to think that a pound of organic butter is two or three happy meals. I breathe. Knowing the butter, and all it shall create with & for us, is a far better choice for my family. I'm healing. I'm realizing the universe will indeed provide for us. I actually wrote down our July budget. No one started on fire or anything. Probably not even an ulcer's worth of stomach acid. It works. I knew that already. Why did I fear looking at it? Nope, we're not gonna have $200 for fireworks; we will get fireworks. Nope, I'm not gonna go crazy with wool yarn; I will get wool yarn. We're gonna have a full and fun July. We'll have good food and good company. Abundant. Amen.

The Longest Light

What a great beginning to Summer! We had a day chuck-full of loud, bangin-n-flashin, pourin' down thunder storms. I got some great video, too -- the uploading gods are busy elsewhere, it seems! In lieu of my amazing documentation, I shall give you this, a glimpse into my today. This morning, my SuperCoolBoyfriend brought me a gift of many gifts! A new sized set of needles, three fun yarns and one skein of cotton
for dishcloths, like the cool one his mother gave me for my birthday! I sat with my green today...

And thought of Christine's poem:

My Mental Gardening Partner

God of my emotions: Healer: Partner in my mental garden.

God of my tears that water the hard soil of past issues,
making a softer place for new ways of thinking to grow.

God of light relieving my darkness with a glow that makes me warm & safe.

God of my growth process, pruning away things that do not serve,
things that shade my thoughts from your healing rays.

O, God of my mental garden, walk with me so that I can feel and
see and understand the greatness that buds in my soul.

God of my blooming talents that express my willingness to be more like you.

These fears are washed away by your cleansing rain of love that chases clouds of pain.

The soil of my mind is tilled of weedy worry, thorny thoughts,
sandy sorrow and insect-like insecurities and replaced with love, joy, peace and freedom.

God in my mental garden, I am grateful for the Eden
that is revealed when I walk with you in my mind.

by Christine DiFonzo

Morning Glories start out with leaves like an H
& grow into leaves that are heart-shaped. FYI.

Check, Check -=Reality?=- Check, Check

Gemini:You have seen your share of excitement recently, just as you wish. There is, however, a problem as you head toward a major reality check. Unless you slow down in order to get more control of your life, you could have a rude awakening as you deal with the disillusionment ahead. On the other hand, intelligent analysis of the situation now will go a long way.

A real post

Here I am! Ready or not, I'm gonna talk about where I'm at...

I'm a-singing "only women bleed" and I'm so glad I'm not a lesbian! If I had to deal with another hormonal beast in this realm, I think I'd eat her. No guilt. For those of you who do make this work, super kudos to you!! Scotty's life has only been in danger once, that was the day before the blood flood broke loose. Poor guy, he really wants to wrap his brain around diana's world and it's impossible for him (as yet) to understand that *I* cannot wrap my brain around how things work in/with/for me, the most of the time. We've had these way cool sociological conversations (albeit hypothetical) about male and female roles in life. Not limited to our American "everyone can do anything, we can do it all, we're all equal" bullshit mentality. I've got a strong stand of: women are genetically better at these things in this realm and men have theirs in those. It doesn't make sense for a man to lament that he'll never be able to give birth; get over it and get on to what you can do, what you're designed for.
Okay folks, this is why the femi-nazis would love my address so they could put flaming bags of poo outside my door. I don't think mothers have a place in the work world. I don't think children's security should be sacrificed so mama can have a paycheck and prestige to feel more like a True American Woman. I think this is the worst thing to have come out of the bra burning 60s. Oprah says it best: You can have it all. You just can't have it all at the same time. Our children need their mothers. Not a paid replacement. If you just can't stand to be around your kids, give 'em to someone who can. Permanently. That said, I absolutely hold working-out-of-necessity mothers in a totally different category and, well, I have further issue with the sperm donors in those situations not being able to provide for their child AND their child's mother. A mother's domain is the house and the kids - not the same thing as the 50s housfrau, maybe an enlightened close comparison. By virtue of the time invested, this is her office space, it is her expertise. Dad can be the expert of his job, the garage and the yard and the dinner cooking. Poor Scotty has taken this tirade to mean that men and their roles are sidelined to bringing home a paycheck. That's it. There's no room for a (whole) man in the picture I've painted. The biggest issue with that is I don't know, I just don't. I've not lived this lifestyle with a male partner. I certainly have more familial experience as in raising my family, most of my experience comes from being a single mama, not a partnered one. I see both sides of the single mama coin right now. It *is* just easier to do it myself when I don't wanna exert the effort to freaking explain myself when I seriously don't have a single experience of my own to base any opinion on. I've got plenty of families to model for me, all but one are families of original mom and dad. The one family with non-bio dad in the home, discovered the unschooling lifestyle together, as a family unit. I get to hoe the brand-new row of blending family members with an already established unschooling life. I'll tell ya, the other day when an ethical situation came up and Hayden questioned, Scotty responded with, "That's ethics, you'll have to talk to your mom about it." I almost ate him right there. I was horrified that he left himself out of that conversation, as if *my* ethics are the only ones that count. Eeewww!! Did I really send that message? Certainly not the one I intended to send. I've been a part of this community for so long, it's just downright strange to me that he doesn't yet see my job as providing a buffet of varied perspectives so that Hayden can come up with the blend of his very own. I don't don't don't want a mini me. Except that maybe I'd like my kid to be as considerate of his opinions/ethics/ideas as I am; flexible with them, understanding they are organic and subject to change as one grows, learns, experiences and matures. I'd like my kid to know I'm not the only game in town. There are others just like us and others diametrically opposite of us and plenty more all over in between. Humanity smörgåsbord. Life as a smörgåsbord. Turns out, the talk I had with Hayden about the ethical situation at hand (real, NOT hypothetical) was much like it would have gone if Scotty were the other human in the equation instead of me. Yet, he found himself afraid of *stepping on toes* should he say something that is different than what I would say. I can see that too. Where is the balance? :::shrug::: I dunno. I do know that Hayden will miss a great opportunity in his life if he is excluded from Scotty's thoughts. Certainly, I would never bring anyone into our family's vortex without a firm belief they had something to offer the whole famn damily! I offered up SSUDS at Live and Learn in September, selling as a great chance for him to talk to the guys and get their perspectives, a highlight of most newbie dads' conference experience. Then I got the whole *sexist* accusation. Aaarrgghh!! So I offered him the numbers of the mamas who have that same attitude, should he want advice from them. Who and how would Scotty benefit most from? A beer with the guys at SSUDS. Too bad it offends him in it's very existence.
How do I articulate what it is I cannot articulate? I'm gonna poop and ponder.

Big Love

Yep, I'm hooked! I love, love, love this amazing HBO series! I'm so diggin' the communal living of the three women, sharing the load of child rearing/house responsibilities. This show lends itself to rethinking the polygamy laws in our, ahem, country. They seem pretty archaic in this "don't care how many kids I create" society. So, there's Bill, Barb, Niki and Margie. Bill happens to love all three women and has children with all three women. He spends alternate nights with each woman. All women are of consensual age and have given their consent to live this lifestyle. Their lifestyle is illegal.

Here's the alternate, realistic everywhere in America, scenario. Imagine Bob, Bonnie, Nellie and Mary. Bob is schtupping all three women and they all suspect the other's exist. Bob's anything but forthcoming with his time away from each of them. Bob has kids with all three women, though he doesn't claim them, nor support them financially. Heck, Bob may not love anybody, including himself. Bob's lovers may or may not be of legal age of consent. His lifestyle is legal.

That said, folks like Niki's dad, should be shot with highpowered rifles given to the women/girls he's raped (aka sealed in marriage) in the name of the One True Prophet. Hell, I should be given a shot, too, just for how horrifically he offends my sensibilities. And then, that's how I feel about any adult who can't keep their hands (and other parts) off children. To do so in the name of God, well, that just about makes an atheist out of me. Where is the smiting, O mighty smiter? Never mind, how about Joey and Wanda just invite him for dinner and some of that famous anti-freeze punch she likes to serve? There's Karma awaiting the Prophet, I hope my anxious anticipation is not costing me an ungodly amount of karmic points... eh, it's worth every one to see this, uh, *guy* get his comeuppance.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
In other HBO news... We've had a great time this week playing with alternate endings to the Sopranos. (Oh my, remember when my very first dates with Bradley included watching the Sopranos? A Loooooong time, m'friend!) I did see the Godfather connection when the guy in the 1980s jacket walked past the table into the men's room. He was gonna come out blazing, ala Michael Corleone, I just knew it. Then I realized Meadow may block the first shot, covering Tony in her brains. He'd be so distraught he'd kill his own self, maybe making it look like a hit, certainly not asking anyone else to kill him, he'd have to do it alone. This would scare AJ straight and he and Carmella would go on to rule the real estate empire of New Jersey. The legal way. Just with illegally gained funds.
In replacement, HBO offers us John from Cincinnati. It's a strange show. Which, of course, makes it right up my alley. I can't get a grasp of it from the first episode. I just know I really want a pair of pants with magic pockets, just like John's. Some things I know, some things I don't -or- I don't really know, Butchie, instead. Nice to see Luke Perry back ♥

Dang! When am I gonna get to work on my beige??