Monday, February 26, 2007

Whichever shall I choose??

Gemini: Mercury the trickster is your very own planet and today he is confounding now that he has retrograded back into fellow air sign Aquarius. Everything might seem too easy now, yet you can still say the wrong thing, misinterpret what you hear, or screw up even the most simple communication. You could spend much of the day being frustrated or laughing. You choose which one.

Nothing is going to spoil this moment...

"Nothing is going to spoil this moment...Imagine making that
decision: nothing's going to spoil this moment. Now, imagine
making that decision about a relationship, job, day in the week,
or...whatever. Imagine applying that idea uniformly in your life."
--Neale Donald Walsch,
author of Conversations with God.

Ah, what a great thought! I've put it to practice today... as soon as I saw it!
Tonight Hayden and I baked!! We got chocolate chip surprise yellow cupcakes (to be frosted tomorrow) and loads of Ree's most wondermous cinnamon rolls!! (read the rest of her blog, she's pretty wondermous as well!).
Of course, as word spread of the Jenner Family Baking Extravaganza, we were quite blessed with a visit from Scotty :) I tried to send a big pan of the ooey-goodness with him, but he insisted I keep the big pan at my house (he took a littler, heartshaped pan to share at work tomorrow). No, not to become the jiggliest girl in the neighborhood (a warning from Ree of what happens if you keep them for yourself), but to feed to him on his frequent visits to my home (for the rolls!). He's not quite ready to propose (another warning from Ree) but he's sure well on his way to fallin' in Love, tee hee!
Pictures are coming!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

On the comicstrip theme...



read sinfest, it's gloriously diana :) search the archives for god, the hand puppet strips are especially hilarious! Oh and these come highly recommended:
i especially like wapsisquare.com and questionablecontent.net. one is about post-grad angst and the other is a mpls local esoteric. lovely artwork! so many others, i'm a connoisseur : ) scarygoround.com, and a lovable one called Copper (boltcity.com). bee is beautiful. (beecomix.com)

Yeah, like that!!

What a difference a day makes!

I got to have Scotty to snuggle with to bring in the Big Hannahversary, a great way to start the morning ♥ He was so brave! We arrived at Spezia's at the exact same moment as my parents, so he got the tough ones over with right away (including Gramma Bunnie). He and Ed were off in the corner of the lobby for a while - warms my heart! I wish I had a social sense of propriety with photo taking... I'm so sorry I don't have pictures of all of us enjoying our time together. It was weird, though I felt an eerie calm all day. The poor restaurant wasn't ready for us and when they were in the midst of their whining, I plunked down the urn and nothing more was said ;) We were the happiest, most grateful mourning bunch they'd ever served! The weather was so typically South Dakotan, blustery and beautiful snow... snow that continued into today, mid afternoon; snow that meant we were virtually alone in the restaurant! Scotty and Eric got to catch up; Hayden had a great time with his friends and was especially happy to see Tena's girls; I got to talk "pregnant sexy mama" with Adam over a cigarette (I'm not kidding see that picture!?); I think I'm gonna give the wooby to their daughter instead of the raffle; my dad was especially affectionate (and I'm forevermore grateful!), even sharing the love with Tena (who's dad transitioned three years ago this month) to the point they were both in tears, human evolution at its finest; I'm so glad to have Hannah's flowers, I see them as just *bursting* like Hannah always was, and obviously still is ::g:: there are fuzzy bits mixed in and I like them too, like tickly spots; I came home and gorged on my gift of chocolate, snuggled once again with Scotty and enjoyed a glorious nap! Eli took over Hayden entertainment (not a terrific challenge with H on the day shift lately) beginning after Lunch ~ so very nice for me! Elizabeth didn't want to come to the meal, too overwhelming... I've reassured her and gifted her with the other bouquet of flowers for her own comfort. Alex, who expresses his emotions in incredibly complex ways, has made sure I know he's available to me for any of my kid-lovin needs ::bg:: We hung out for quite a while this morning ~ he was blessed with free reign of Scotty's laptop, the happiest kid in the universe, right here, in my house!!
While Hayden occupied Eli and Scotty ran off to set up for playing, I chicked myself out (including make-up, oh yeah, even the expensive kind!) and was sure to abide by the "Hannah's Mama" standards required by the occasion! I think I was pretty cute :) I got to see the entire Wumpus show, with Lisa and Brian (who left Philip to be entertained by Eli and Hayden, to their great delight!) and later joined by Tena and Amy. It was fun and bubbly and silly and intimidating and encouraging and, yeah, a diana experience :)
The weather was continuing and the plows came by regularly... at midnight, L&B gave out and set out for home, missing the end of Sleepeater, Scotty's favorite local band; they've actually listened to them for a couple of years. Oh, not the last connection of the evening!! Lisa asks me questions when they pick me up and whaddaya know? She knows Scotty's ex-wife, went to school with her, even with to Scotty and Sharon's wedding reception; she has pictures of young Scotty, with curly blonde hair ~ I can't wait to see them :)
And of course, as I was meeting band members for the first time, Amy was seeing old friends, yeah members of Wumpus know this one guy who knows this one chick that we both know, who happens to be a good friend of Amy's and Amy's hung out with the lot of them, a couple of years ago anyway...
Hangin' with the girls as a threesome was as amazing as it always is... there's some way cool, Karmic Majik aflowin' in each others' presence. Amy dropped me at home, I dropped in the yard, for their entertainment and made a big ol' snow angel in the middle of our pristine snow cover!! So fun!
The weather was prohibitive of a Scotty visit last night...
Tonight Hayden was just in too much need of his mommy for a Scotty visit... he very kindly and quietly he picked up and went home, which immediately lowered the Boy's stress level (now he really thinks Scotty's a nice guy ~ no guilt involved) and I made a pleasant evening for the two of us, watching My Super Ex-Girlfriend and we truly enjoying some time without the overwhelming banner of Hannahversary. He passed out and I get the luxury of internet connection and solitude ~ aaaaahhhhh! a much needed appointment ;)
I miss my kid. I'm moving much closer to Gratitude than I've ever been in my Life, it's an adventure I know I'll Love.

****Who did I miss? It seems the tables were waaaay bigger than this... but maybe not??****
Scotty, Eric, Griffin, Mel, Norah, DeLila, Ed, Joyce, Eli, Adam, Trisha, DeAnna, Susan, Emma, Tena, Me.
Cheyenne, Gabby, Detrain, Derald, Crystal, Bunnie, Donna, Bruce, Liz, Will, Karna, Troy, Darla, Penny, Calvin, Lexi, Hayden.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Niagara Falls

One free kid. A healer, a master; my daughter, the goddess spark incarnate. Her father's daughter. Her brother's big sister. My gift from all the stars that aligned for every twist of fate required for her human existence with me. I always knew she was not mine alone. She created family; a much bigger one than I imagined. Our first conference vacation... the ripples are still being felt, our family continues to expand. Life goes on... and Good Life goes on... We always knew it was (is) a blessing to be here now, together.
♥ If I had a flower for each time I thought of you, I could walk an eternity in my garden. (thanks Kel!)
♥ Music to cry by: Yesterday the Beatles
why she had to go? I don't know she wouldn't say...
♥ Music to dry tears by: Puff the Magic Dragon, reggae version
...and frolicked in the Autumn mist with a girl named Hannah Lea...
♥ ♥ I can still see her wiggling her hips to get those heavy, wet pants pulled up! What a great adventure :)
******
I'm not just any old rock, I'm the rock that withstands Niagara Falls - I just decided. When the water rushes over me, it makes rainbows. And gets everyone wet - bonus!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Gemini Grief 101

♥ I'm going to burst! Methinks my soul is taking this bodhicitta thing a bit too far :) I'm open, I am; I know I need to be open to the uncomfortable stuff, so as to be open to the comfy stuff. I wanna and I don't.
♥ I'm crying and it feels really good; tonight's Grey's Anatomy helped (even if you don't regularly watch it, you should watch this week's episode - 'twill rock your world, I know, 'cause you're my loyal reader & you'll get why it touched me so... get the Kleenex ready)
♥ Today's first text message: So. Very. Happy.
Why? because we slept in my bed, holding hands and snuggled up. It was sweet and romantic; Soul soothing and inspiring. He loves my green and blue striped hanna andersson Lovejoy jammies :D Bed rental payment - a foot rub!! oh yeah! mmm my hands too!
The resulting haiku - by me:
So very happy
Our amazing connection
Leaves no need for dreams.
♥ I got a really special card in the mail today! Airmail!!! :::happy dance::: Linnea and Schuyler made me a beautiful *diana* card from shoe scraps :D I needed your words again today, you are indeed my Soul sister and I can't wait to hug you!! I'm adding it to my knapsack purse with Kelli's (and the rest of the stack!)~ it's like pulling you guys out whenever I need you!
♥ For Hayden today:
Hayden's half birthday
three thousand one hundred days
his life, our blessing
~Scotty
♥ I got to love on the pregnant chickie today, Trisha! I talked to the baby and told her how cool it is to be a Gemini and May 27 is a great birthday :D Trish is glowing, beautiful and full and soft and round... it's an amazing metamorphosis ♥
♥ I miss Hannah's voice. Shelly has a DVD for me, I've not wanted to see and here I find myself longing for it... think I'll pick it up tomorrow.
♥ Howard should be put back together in the next week or so... aaaahhh!
♥ Mitch is sending an ice storm for the weekend. I'm not sure what kind of message that is. It's sure not helping me want to forgive him. Especially if it means Kelli's family can't come!
♥ I'm gonna sleep tonight and it's really okay that when I wake up it will be tomorrow.

Music for Your Heart & Soul

I participated in the Imagination Tribe's Heart & Soul CD exchange... The timing of the trade had great influence on what I chose, a very diana's grieving while maintaining her diananess mix, if I do say so myself :) Today, my friend sent the sweetest comment I told her I wanted to listen to it and put some of the songs on the IPod and she said...."You'll want to put them all on!" So I'm listening to your CD right now. I sat right down and wrote out why I picked the songs I did and what they mean to me, Heart & Soul, right now... Here's my list (and yeah, I'll get ya yer own copy if you want!)
1- 60B (e-town theme) from the Elizabethtown Soundtrack: my favoritest movie and the sweetest song, for me it represents all of the passed-by exits, all the turns not taken, and the joy of the journey on the chosen path. Cameron Crowe is married to Nancy Wilson (of Heart), she wrote that little diddy for the movie as her hubby described it to her!
2- Universe & U - KT Tunstall: All is right in Life when you and the universe are on the same team!
3- Lady behind the mask - Bonnie Bluhm: I was "introduced" to Bonnie by an ABQ unschooler. Bonnie's album is dedicated to her son, who transitioned from her life at a very young age. This song accurately represents the feelings of a grieving mama, me! I can't wait to meet her for real!
4- It'll all work out - Tom Pettty: from the Elizabethtown Soundtrack - Tom's voice is so calming in any form, but this song brings me GREAT comfort when I think of how things always do work out eventually & I always imagine the song is about Hannah and Mitch (Better off with him, than here with me...)
5- Io (this time around) - again from e-town! : This is for that eternal question: What if *this* is it?? If this *is* indeed our one chance at life, then Life better sound like this song!! Better yet, what if This Time Around is just practice for Next Time? You can be anyone!
6- The Reason - Hoobastank: Unschooling anthem at it's finest AND a great song to sing to yourSelf, Be your own Reason!
7- Wide Sky Life - Amy Steinberg: A very diana song, a very empowering and makin' ya glad to be human song; I've got a Wide Sky Life!! Amy is the musical muse of my heart and soul, she sings my story in every tune!
8- Give me Novocaine - Green Day: As upbeat and optimistic as I am, some days I just want to get thru life medicated!! To open one's Self to feeling anything means one must be open to feeling everything and sometimes that's way overwhelming!
9- Hallelujah - Shrek Soundtrack - again: so diana in it's message: circumstances don't matter, I'm a-gonna sing my hallelujahs!
10- Shut up and Smile - Bowling for Soup: Life really *is* this easy sometimes: Ice cream & a hug :) Hayden once called this the perfect daddy song: all we need is Love and Beer.
11- Just a Girl - No Doubt: Hannah's song!! Warms my heart and soul, knowing she's not the domesticated chick being sung about... (and maybe, just maaaaaybe she's been reincarnated as Gwen's kid!)
12- I'm so Special - Amy Steinberg: Sometimes all I need to do is to get the hell outta my own way!!
13- Learning How to Smile - Everclear: I'm just learning how to fall and get back up again!
14- Sweet Jane - Cowboy Junkies: the eternal human quandary of the lessons our hearts lead us to and through... Also makes me think of Sweet Jayn Coburn, I imagine her as the little unschooler inside me!
15- Say Goodbye - Girlyman: I'm all too well-rehearsed... I wish I could be so melodic in my expressions :) My heart and soul just aren't the same since saying (hello &) goodbye to Mitch
16- Carry On - Tim McGraw: Okay, I'll say it, this guy is HOT, HOT, HOT!! And he's married to the totally HOT, amazing, wonderful Faith Hill.... oh, and he sings real purty, too :) Again, a very diana anthem! What's a happy alternative to carrying on? I haven't found one!
17- Through the Dark - KT Tunstall: THROUGH, not over, not around - straight through and on the other side awaits the joy of newfound Light!
18- Skyline Pigeon - Elton John: It wouldn't be a diana mix without my Boy! He sang this song to Ryan White and lyrics are inscribed on Ryan's headstone... I played it for both Mitch and Hannah when they left, it's my wishes for their soul-full freedom :)
-I put the next two songs on for Hayden. It warms a mama's heart when the son puts Greatest Day on repeat and carries it as his personal anthem!
19- Good Riddance (Time of your life) - Green Day: All the times are the Time of Your Life; Now is what you got, whatcha gonna do with it?
20- Greatest Day - Bowling for Soup: May every day be your greatest day!!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
This is the reaction I was going for: That was just wonderful. Your cd was the first one I listened to and all of the songs I just FELT!!! And I loved them and I am glad you wrote out why you chose the songs you did (after hearing your story on the lists and seeing the beautiful quilt, I would cry to some of the songs and not really know why, and then I realized it is because I “knew” you and I could just FEEL the songs). Thank you, they really touched MY heart & soul, too!!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

My Lover Style

The Liberated Lover

59% partner focus, 61% aggressiveness, 90% adventurousness

Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:

You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own.

This places you in the Lover Style of: The Liberated Lover.

The Liberated Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and forms the kind of free-thinking, sexually-exciting, self-confident lover that society once condemned but that a liberal-mind cherishes and exults. The Liberated Lover is a treasure to find, though it can sometimes be difficult to do so because they are often already engaged in relationships or are in high-demand if "in the market."

In terms of physical love, the Liberated Lover is possibly the most thrilling and demanding of all, with the one potential drawback being that it is possible to feel 'overmatched' at times by their prowess and selfless giving. Given trust and understanding, and the right lover, the Liberated Lover can be a delight in bed.

Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Exotic Lover (most of all) or the Carnal Lover, or the Suave Lover.

Congratulations!
Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST



My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on partner focus
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on aggressiveness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on adventurousnes




The gifts are worth it

Whirling and swirling 'round my brain today...
the highest right, the internal, instinctive guidance system for the ferrets in Curious Lives... and how that connects to The Secret and the meter for our feelings... and how that connects to the House of Contracts in The Journey Home... and random thoughts of gifts and exchanges and agreements and karma and perspective... acceptance: forgiveness and gratitude...
and such sage advice from the stars today: Although you want to be socially involved, today it's difficult to tell others what you need. That's fine, for keeping conversations on the lighter side now will likely work out for the best. Otherwise, you can become so overly demanding that you won't get anything at all. Turning down your volume and sense of urgency makes sense.
...sounds good to me!