Music, Death, & Sandra Dodd

If you drew those three thinking sticks, would you have a connection? more than one?

So far, I've got two...

It all starts with Sandra's love of most everything music, including the game: Encore. See, she'd love nothing more than to have a constant stream of players to engage her, so she figgered out how to do exactly that: Lyrics Game.
I can be counted on to play obscure Elton/Bernie lyrics and I like to toss around some other obscurities while I'm at it. Like Mary LaFleur; I think every mama should sing "I love you 100" to their babies ♥

One day in March, I was honored to have the following e-mail exchange:

I'm the son of the late Mary Lafleur. If you didn't know she passed away after a 5 year bout with breast cancer two years ago. I was 18 when she passed away and will never be the same after such a loss. I googled her name because yesterday was my birthday and I came across you writing her lyrics on a website I was unfamiliar with. I just wanted to know what effect my mother's music has had on your life, I can only hope it was positive. I'm the subject of I love you 100, and I can't listen to it without weeping uncontrollably. Don

We've met, then :)
I was pregnant with my daughter, Hannah, almost 13 years ago, when your mom brought you to her friend's house in Iowa for a little house concert. I'm sorry I don't remember the friend's name, she was a LLL leader and a midwife, who lived near a lake with her family (I think the husband was a park ranger?). I think the friend had three daughters.

Your mom's music will live in my heart *forever* - you were just a little guy and the I love you 100 song embarrassed you and you asked her not to sing it for us. I played it on the way home and wept with an overflowing heart of love.

It was the first song I played for my first child. It was the last song I whispered in her ear as she died at a mere 9.5.

It does bring me great comfort to imagine your mama singing to all those children on "the other side" I hope it does for you, too <3
~diana

I wept when I read what you wrote. The only sadness without compare in my life has been the passing of such a wonderful person as my mother. To know that I was not the only person so effected by her is a wonderful thing to know. I hope you help keep Mary's music alive for as long as you live.

Don

This was a Big Impact moment for me. I knew Mary's music had touched my heart and I wanted to share that effect with others; I had no idea the story in my heart would directly affect Mary's family ♥
Life went back to normal, after the initial glow of the contact. The game reverted to being a game, the impact of one contact was relegated to fluke status. At least in my conscious mind.
~♥~
Then I played a very special song for the word "Steel" - Hymen Made of Steel was written for me in 1987 by my friend, Maggie Fette.
Maggie also happens to be Hannah's Godmother and as she's Italian, you could call her Fragile.
When Hannah died, Maggie's family asked that I not tell her at that time, they were ill prepared to deal with the potential emotional fallout and I was unable to be there for her myself, obviously.
On our way home from Los Angeles, Hayden and I tried to contact our Bakersfield friends, to no avail, and resigned ourselves to sprinkling Hannah's ashes to the wind. We thought of Maggie and how Hannah's spirit could now visit her at home, unbeknownst to Maggie herself!
When Gramma Bunnie died on May 5, I had to tell Maggie. She was the one, afterall, who laid eyes on Gramma in 1986 and said, "You guys don't call her Bunnnie?! She's a Gramma Bunnie if I ever saw one!!" It just so happened to coincide with Gramma's, uh, rabbit-like reputation for physical intimacy and the timing of Eddie Murphy's Aunt Bunny falling down the stairs schtick. So we kept it secret for a while... then she overheard us, and immediately adopted it as her name! In her passing, I knew we'd be speaking Maggie's name.

found out , quiet by accident last month about hannah. damn. who the hell did you fuck with to bring such karma down upon you & yours...di you force feed Ghandi? kick john paul under the table....:0) i'm glad your still smiling (just flashed on your giggle)
honey, your still the Greatest & Bestest Fweind this sponge cake could ever hope to have-

you probably learned about Hannah because her ashes are now free-wheeling around Bakersfield!!! Me and the boy drove thru not long ago (with NO ONE'S phone numbers) and put her over panorama drive and edison highway and highland highschool... everywhere... so now you should read the hannahashes blog, she really IS everywhere!
I love you
And I'm still laughing :D
~diana :)

no, actually- I looked up maggie fette instead of margaret on google last month & came across something you posted about hyman made of steel...i then followed links and found a site dedicated to spreading her ashes all over the earth (i loved the apple) ...

No one I know would have thought of this way to ease Maggie into Hannah's new state of being! She got all the information, through the back door; a way I'd never foreseen ♥ and Exactly the way she should have found out ♥

~♥~
Thank you, once again, Sandra Dodd, for the space you create in the world; the space in which magic happens! I'm honored to be a-swirlin' in your vortex!

Thematic Photographic - Human

A moment of intense humanity.
Of which I shall remain honored to have witnessed.
49 years and some days ago, Baby Paul David was born.
49 years ago, in a few weeks, he left his Birth family and soon became Baby Claude to his Life family.
49 years ago, Uncle Gary was 15 and horribly scarred by these events, and the ones he believes led up to them.
12 years and some months ago, we welcomed Uncle Junior into our lives. (coincidentally, mere days after welcoming Hannah into our lives)
12 years and some months ago, Uncle Gary decided he'd never be able to acknowledge the existence of his brother without accepting the existence of his mother's own human frailty - sin, just like the rest of us. As one is impossible in his heart, the other won't sit well in his head. Better to ignore it all. Uncle Gary's (whispered:)Catholic, which is meant to explain that we let him reconcile those kinds of things in his own head, as he will, in his own way, with his own years of human experience.
In this very moment here, we're at their mother's wake. Gary, with tears streaming down his face, approached Junior with outstretched hand, saying, "I don't know what to say to you..."
I left them in peace, just glancing back to snap this pic, to make real what I very well could have been dreaming. As I'd dreamed of this moment 1,000 times before ♥
Our family took one giant step towards Whole.

A small tax rant. A big one'd be taxed.

After Mitch's death in 2000, it was determined by the IRS that we had royally fucked up and owed them 1,200$ that I royally fucked up and didn't pay one iota of attention to. I was busy eating bon-bons, watching soaps, mourning and raising 2 babies while resenting all of the above.
So they charged me an amazingly embarrassing & greedy percentage of interest; once again and still, I had other things on my plate and this one issue just rolled off.
Then I discovered, circa 2005, that the only debtor in the universe that has the autoriTAY to garnish Social Security earnings is, viola!, the IRS.
They've garnished monthly 70$ for more than 3 years. Last year I had the honor of paying down the debt through my first tax return, nearly 3,000$. They continue garnishing and kept last year's return, another 3,000$.
I guess they finally got enough.
The monster may indeed be sated.
I got a tax refund check for $121.18;
of which .07$ is returned interest.
There is a God and one day he visited the IRS.
True story, kids.
I just got another way to afford the rent on the new house.
Oh YEAH!

Thematic Photographic - Yellow Week

I spent a week with no mind, time, nor wherewithal to blog.
I still had my camera and a chance to check Carmi's theme.
I played along in my heart ♥

Hayden lifts a car in front of the Washington Pavilion of Arts & Science;
formerly Washington Senior High School (Diana Lambert, Class of 1986);
formerly Sioux Falls High School.
One of our favorite places on the planet;
in all it's layers of generational memories.

I fortify myself while waiting for Toys R Us to open, near Spokane, WA.
While wearing the hoodie Grampa Bob picked out for Hayden on our recent trip to LA ♥
Hayden finds the Wall o'Nerf. He was appropriately reverent.

Baby Breann celebrates two years of human existence at Sertoma Park.
The bubbles were a big hit, especially after Hayden joined in the chasing!
Baby Xander was so happy to finally be called by his real name! :::wink, wink:::
He enjoyed Big Jim's Green Plastic Spork/Knifula set as much as we have!

Fawick Park has has beautiful flowers this week.
I took pictures of most of them.
And of David.
And his package.
Oh, donchu worry, the commentary shall be hilarious ♥

A moment of silence

Me n' the Boy are heading to South Dakota
to memorialize my genetic source of coolness,
Gramma Bunnie ♥

Calling Me Home

It's been a quiet longing, my desire for a home that fits. Where I can host my friends and have more than one room with three seats available, ya know? I love my home, I am so grateful for it.
AND it's a box. AND it's tiny.
I've been wandering Linda's yard with Willow lately, streamlining what I'd like to have in our yard, too. Dreaming of taking her on a tour of my cool secret yard things.
Like the quail I saw!
But wait, I'm not there yet. this here's a rambling tale, better get something to drink and pee while you're up.
Today was pay rent day and I haven't seen my landlord's wife in a couple of months. She's kinda sweet on me and vice versa ♥ In the course of the hour I hung out while she wrote the receipt, I happened to say, "Ya know, we're not gonna wanna stay in that little place of ours forever. Would you let us know if you guys have anything coming up when our lease is up?" I probably threw in a wink and a we kinda like you guys, we should stay in business together. probably ;)
And then the bomb: Bigger? How about 5 acres? How about right now? Right down the street from you? I ask to see it and I'm told it's the southernmost house in Corvallis. rightdownthestreet!!
I go check it out because the young men renting it previously had gotten injured and flaked out; one injured, one flake. Their handyman, Dan, was there working on cleaning it up and getting it into Rental Shape. Kay draws me a map, she's so excited, to show me to drive almost exactly one mile south of the corner to my current home (just one more reason to love her!).

There are Lilacs. And a picket fence. And a double garage. Raspberries, Apples and Pears, oh my! Two places to have fires (BBQ ala Ricky and Lucy & a stone ringed pit) A prime spot for the garden boxes. And more lilacs ♥ Oh and that's a chicken coop over yonder if you can drag your eyes off the lilacs. I know, I have a hard time too. This bush is just outside the screen porch on the back of the house. Screen porch. The pluses column for this house is getting long, long before I ever get inside. A backyard worthy of hours of chuk-it!
On the minus side, they currently want 300$ more than we pay now. On the plus side, they currently have 6 unemployed renters, he may be ripe for negotiation. The economy and all, ya know.
On the plus side, a pie keep (tall pie wide cupboard with slatted shelves), a flour bin, original wooden counter tops, wait for it an ironing board coming right out of a cute little cupboard on the wall.

Yeah an ironing board just like the one at Gramma Baby's house in Pacoima; the one I was just reminiscing about with her. The neighbor cupboard on the left is the spice rack. Pretty much everything but the linoleum and rental house appliances in the kitchen, gives me a girl-boner. Oh man. A devoted hutch for the dishes. Just like at Gramma Ellis' house.
Oh and it just got better (well, except the bathroom, which may only be tolerable after a good scrub, painting and because the kitchen rocks!) as we looked at the rest -- we, as in, I ran home and showed it to the boys, too.

Let the pondering begin. ♥

Thematic Photographic - Musical 3

May 2005

Road Trip to Grammas (Los Angeles) via the Dodds (Albuquerque)
We used the auxiliary plugs as microphones. Okay, sure, it was at my urging.
I'd bet it's No Doubt's Rock Steady -
Hannah's all time favorite sing-along album.
Mine too!

Hayden played Ohio (Come Back To Texas) for us for the very first time,
as we crossed the teeniest tiniest corner of Texas possible.
He understands the value of a good soundtrack.
I'm not gonna let a small thing like lack of talent
exclude me from being musical ♥

Just a minute ago...

...or the minute or 6 before I read my tagged comment from Q, I took a picture of myself for my 365 blog. So I'm gonna use it here, like as if I read her mind, knew I was about to be tagged and never ever mentioned it on my blog. Yeah, that is soooo cooooool. (read that like Beavis and Butthead, it's how it sounded in here)
I'm on my way home from the Garden Festival-thingie downtown (at the photo moment) where I bought amazing stuff I can't wait to blog about. I listened to Ender's Game while I walked around. No one told me my braids were crooked. All Day. And I got zits. At 40.
I tag the first four folks who read this.
And yes, that means you. (Tena)
Leave a comment so I can take a peek at you. If it makes you feel any better, I got tagged on two blogs and this one ain't so cheery ;) Don't forget to smile!

Thematic Photographic - Musical 2

Today I did a bit of Spring Cleaning for my Favorite Faeries ♥
I moved them to a better, sunnier, less collecting of dead leaves and debris area. Above their space, I added my new Buddha Bell and my Shepherd's Bell from Mary.
Among the gentle flap of the prayer flags, they shall ring a musical welcome to their new fangled majikal abode.
Their home is still primarily made of totem stones from the Yukon, with some newer additions from Oregon, including that amazing heartshaped one! Our Buddha head gargoyle seems more welcoming in this location, with his calm and happy faces beautifully exhibited!
I have Urban Faries, they live among an RC Cola advert and receive offerings in a Coca-Cola lid ♥

Thematic Photographic - Musical

This week's theme has stumped me; I'd like to blame it on my current lack of camera mojo, though it's just one more part of the universe I struggle to explore sans Hannah. That and just a general feeling of resistance to anything sans Hannah I'm experiencing this spring. So mixed in and swirling around with the other thoughts, is my new mission's mantra:
♥ Healing My Daughter's Mother.
I've got the best possible help on this mission.
And a great soundtrack. Willow is my AKC (Ass Kicking Chieftain) and all she has to do is be her Own Self.
She's independent and intense and interested and full of the most amazing information.
This day, she was exploring a fort on her own, while Rowan and I watched (and photographed her) from the window.When she came in, she listened to my MP3 player and I introduced her to the dreamy world of David Cook. Oh yeah, I did ♥ and it healed me.