Go Team Christine! Did you send this too?

In actuality, this came from another way cool chick who got the message and sent this to me today - yeah she heard the Universe's cry for help all the way in Oklahoma! I'm taking the hint!

Why make this video? Why should you repost it today?
we want to make a big splash, so all people involved should post the videos together, as a unified movement...like many stones thrown into a stream at once, rather than one here and one there...so it makes an impact that people can't ignore...

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All too often we are told that change is not possible. You might even find yourself saying, "That is just the way it is." Apathy has become a standard by which many of us live our lives. And it is paralyzing us. It paralyzes us because if you believe nothing can be done, then you do nothing. And that prevents change from happening. You, as an individual, give up before even trying to make a difference. And why is this? Because the dominoes of apathy and indifference have fallen on top of you.

So the question is, are you going to fall in line and let things continue in a downward spiral? Or are you going to stand up and go against the grain of apathetic ideas and actions? Are you willing to change the world by changing your view of how your actions affect the world? Is change possible? Why not try your best and find out?

I am putting my shoulder to the wheel to see how strong we truly are. Are you willing to test your strength?

If you would like to show the world that you want to make a change, then please re post this video and text on your YouTube channel, or anywhere else that you see fit.

To download the video clip and text go to:

http://www.trews.org/change/

Your friends,
endOFapathy

http://www.youtube.com/endOFapathy

It is *ON*

What'd ya call it, oh yeah: "wickedly accurate description of Diana" hm.

Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extroversion results were very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

Trait Snapshot: messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture.

I'm the Queen!

Once your mind tells your brain that you know you're in denial, they fuckin make you move out! Fine! I've got boxes lined up. I've got batteries charged. Here, I'll even stay in my procrasti-nation just a bit longer to give you the before pictures. Ick. Okay, maybe not so ick. Maybe even more organized than I thought. I'm glad I got out the camera. Ya know, it's just a bit of work. I need to crank the tunes and drink some wine my own self. That Gumption again. Ah, mayhap another pot of coffee?? (liquid, legal gumption) I did remember to eat today.

Okay, here it is: The art supplies that need to be sorted and boxed.

Hayden's Pile - to be sorted and boxed

My Keep Pile and my Pictures - to be re-sorted at the end.

I hate the Not-Mine Pile, it practically growls every time I pass by

Oh look, Hannah stuff that's become art supplies, already boxed.

Hannah Stuff, just piled into the box, needs to be organized and actually packed

The must be left out until the last possible moment, Art Supplies

Tena sent me pictures of her new Las Vegas home, which she already has pictures hanging in. Inspired.

My address in Denial

I think I qualify for a PhD in avoidance.
There's the boxes. Right there in Hayden's room.
There's the piles. Right here surrounding me; surrounding most rooms of the place.
There's the entire room of stuff at the old place.
Hannah's stuff. My stuff. Hayden's stuff.
Junk.
Smelly, don't want to look at stuff, piled on top of treasures of stuff we do want but can't see anymore.
How the hell?
Oh yeah, and it's Scotty's last week in town before a month (at least) apart while I get this shit done.
Too much!!! I'm going to take a nap!

Breakfast of Champions

We made a version of (Mitch's) Gran's Chile on Thursday before leaving for the weekend... We used home-grown tomatoes, both Scotty's (red & yellow) and my friend Rebecca's (red and heirloom pink). I roasted the home-grown jalapeños. Yeah, I stuff it all into a blender so my inner food separator has to sit down and let me eat the salsa! It was sad to wait soooo long for the flavors to meld, I just knew it would be worth it!!
I got up this morning and checked on my organic chip stash and *fricken, fracken, gobbledy, GROOK* someone left the bag open and now they're stale (almost as big a pet peeve as a dirty, crumb infested knife in my butter!!). After a 30 second curse and some deep cleansing breaths, I had my chile with eggs and toast. YUM!! Gran's version is usually much darker red. I think it's because she's never used yellow or pink tomatoes ;) She's lately switched to habañeros instead of jalapeños for my father in law's taste and that's just too much hot for my delicate taste vs heat balance. Fussy palate, I've got! I'll have to run this by her and see what she thinks... I do think she'd be proud!

In Technicolor with a Braid Wave

Gumption

As I trudge outside for my snotty, post-cry nicotine, I grab from the yardsale pile some reading material. Today's selection happened to be Coloring Outside the Lines by Roger Schank, Ph.D.
I opened to the page with this: Three Traits of Highly Gumptious People -- well there I am, right in Roger's book!
1) A willingness to break the rules
2) Single mindedness (a dream of mine!)
3) Self confidence

Thanks Fates!

18 months of Life

Shocking to think of... 18 months ago I was making decisions I'd never considered before, decisions a mother doesn't prepare for when thinking of her children. And yet I did. I made difficult, impossible choices in a way that befits my beliefs of Life itself.
18 months ago, I had the very last conversation, human to human, with my baby girl. 18 months ago, she went to live with her daddy. 18 months of me hanging on to anger about her choice. 18 months of torturous non-forgiving.
Now I sit with my new, hannahless life. It fits like couture that is too expensive to be completely comfortable; nice yeah, but at what cost? Now I visit with the possibility of forgiving Mitch for his postmortem sins. Can I find acceptance in my heart and soul for the man who gave me the opportunity to have these kids? Can my soul really and truly grasp the *whole complete and perfect* perspective on Hannah's new life? Can my limited and blindered human mind?
It's of no benefit to Mitch for me to forgive him. It's of no consequence to him if I don't. I don't think there's a god in existence who would take my side in this argument. If we were before Solomon, fighting over her, would I have the courage to give her up for her to remain whole? Would that mean I get to keep her? It *is* of benefit to me. It is of consequence to me. For+give=Life's purpose. Purpose filled life. Life filled with giving. dagnabbit, busted again.
I have felt the outpouring of love to me today.
It has been a joyful balm to my joyless soul.
I got breath, I got gumption... Looks like good life ain't anywhere near over for this chickie. Tomorrow, I shall make the best of it. Today I shall continue my wallow. Amen.

More later...

Gemini: As the Sun moves through Mercury's other sign, Virgo, you are stressed by the information in your life rather than by the company you keep. Reality demands that you pick and choose which data is most useful. You are torn between filtering out the noise and reveling in the thrill of information overload. Nevertheless, you'll be happier if you can minimize your stress and reduce the level of social activities.

A Tat for Hayden

I've got three tattoos now. They're all memorial tats for loved ones who have died... First, on my left ankle, I got a Moon for my 25th birthday. The moon is obviously for me, Goddess of the Moon, I added the initials of a good friend, Randy Riddle, who died when we were 19. Next, with my "in lieu of flowers" money from Mitch's 2nd funeral, I got his memorial tattoo as the Monkey on my back.
The original idea was for Mitch and I to each have a monkey (this one's named Jojo, by Mary Engelbreit) with a gemini symbol tattooed on our shoulders. When he got sick, he refused to spend any money on the dead guy, so instead it became his memorial tat. It was mere days after Hannah's death that I decided I wanted to get a special tattoo just for her, a reminder of the gift of her death: Bodhicitta. I've been pondering a 4th tat for a long time... really focusing on an graffiti styled armband with little paper dolls and cool lettered words like Love and Joy and Choice. I knew I had to get a Hayden tattoo, before he dies, so he doesn't think he has to die to be immortalized on his mama's body. I love a particular red monster drawing he did regularly as a little guy (this was his second most frequently appearing art, the first was earth with a loooooong staircase to the sky, so he could visit daddy). Now that the third Live and Learn tattoo funshop is scheduled for September 10, the serious talk has begun. Hayden has chosen the back of my right calf for his piece. While looking through the works of the local tat artists in Asheville, NC, I came upon Jay Chastain's work at Empire Tattoo. His japanese style work has given us a whole new plethora of ideas! We've now decided on a tiger. Not too cartoon-ey, not realistic, not fierce... beautiful is our request. And I'd like a lotus flower in there somewhere, maybe his nest?

Hayden really likes this one. I think it would be cool if he was looking at a dragonfly instead of a butterfly. The faces in this one are weird, I do like the playfulness the picture brings to mind. Maybe it could be a monkey playing with his (tiger!) tail instead.
This guy's a bit fierce for our taste, his positioning is beautiful, though, and ripe for a lotus instead of a rock! I'm sure he can be softened :)

I do have absolute faith we'll get get a great tat and a fun, wild experience as we take over a tat shop in Asheville next month!! Now to sell that washer and dryer...