We're halfway!

It's official, I'm both up far too early, and it's half way between Solstice's longest dark and the Springtime balance of Light and Dark. I'm mothering our Circle tonight, I look forward to strengthening my faith and once again, renewing my light.

It will be an inspiring evening, following a challenging day of organizing, planning and preparing (the space and my kid).
I hope to see Eli, all 19 years of him already. The Gift of Eli deserves it's own post, ah, but his brightly shining, gift of light should not go unnoticed on this holy day.
I wanna sneak away for a bit later on, to see some Wumpus... a well deserved distraction from other issues I've got with the passage of yet more time.
The laundry no longer visibly towers... now to conquer the hiding stuff!! ***whip cracking***

Free Will Astrology

Freewill Astrology: On some days you work on creating your tapestry, weaving each thread with care and artistry. On other days you inexplicably unravel the same tapestry, undoing your fine efforts. Is there some hidden purpose in this maddening rhythm—a strategy I can't fathom? Or is it fueled by a half-conscious compulsion you feel helpless to resist? Please get clear, Gemini, about what's motivating you to take two steps forward, then two steps backward. I'd like to see you go at least three steps forward, two steps backward.
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Oooooh, an ass kickin' horoscope! Lessee how long I like this ;)
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The Secret's been floating back up to the top (gonna have to do a Bleep/Secret party!) and I've been forced to *think* before I actually *think aloud* to the universe. So why is it easy to apply to the small, not even scared anyway, parts of my life, but slip soundlessly and as mindlessly as possible into overwhelm, not as an escape but as an excuse. I had a way cool excursion on Friday and yet I morphed into the chittering Spider monkey on Acid that only I can do; must I sabotage? I agreed to mother the circle for February... it's Wednesday! I've got floorspace and no plan. I can call overwhelm and shirk some responsibilities, or, like yesterday, I can force myself out of this cycle; I can put on any music for any mood and by thoughtfully putting one foot in front of the other, seeing a task to completion can become it's own catharsis. (so I say three garbage bags later!) The light of day just isn't so bad... Now to cast some light on those big, scary but I'm still more brave, parts of this Life.

Mitch on MySpace

...bizarre. That's what it is. It's still a teeny tiny world out there. Kristin finds me first, because Jerry tells her, then her brother, Derby finds me. Derby's where it all starts; he was friends with Dave and introduced Reuben and Mitch, et al. That's funny. My trip to LA this time will have a different flavor, I can already tell.

It's morning...

...and it's quiet and it's all mine :::vbg:::

I took down Xmas last night, the most of it anyway, I just remembered the cards are still up from 2005! I threw away some videotapes, we talked about the Jerk, which led to Paul Simon's Bernadette (which we love!), which led to Steve Martin, which led to every other movie he made, which led to Amsterdam and the recent pictures I've seen of tiny cars, which somehow led to Star Wars and LaserDisc vs DVD...
I listened to new music and just got the job done. Even swept and mopped.
My room today. The laundry towers. It scares me.

Stars that make you go hmmm...

From Midco: Complaining about someone or something can be ever so addictive. If it goes on too long, though, you need to ask yourself if you're not projecting just a bit onto this handy subject. What's really at stake here?

From Tarot.com: It can be very frustrating if you know where you want to go, but are not allowed to go there yet. "First things first," they tell you. There are many things that must be accomplished before you set out on your journey, whether it's a vacation, a relationship or a project. Unpack your bags; even if your time is approaching, you are not yet ready to depart.

Well, alrighty then, I'm sitting down and shutting up... figuring out exactly what comes first.

Favorites

It's a tag/play-along thing, but I'm doing this one (in the spirit of Amy) for my own enjoyment, though I'd like to know those who do this one, too :)
5 Favorite Scents:
1. The smell of lilacs on a warm breeze (surprise scent is best!)
2. Milky babies (their heads, their breath)
3. Peaceful Patchouli by Kiss My Face
4. Darphin body wash
5. Obsession by Calvin Klein

In a heartbeat: (or half a heartbeat!)

See, he's thinking about how much he needs some *diana* in his life :)
Oh, wait! They are both thinking the same thing!!
's okay boys, there's plenty of me to go around!

I would, but I'd blush:

If we married, I'd be Diana Lea Lee :)

I just watched Simon Birch again... aaaahh Oliver!

Not if they were the last men on earth:

too bad his palm isn't facing him, then he'd be signing *bullshit* :)

I have a personal policy of *not* sleeping with murderers, 'specially not Republican idiot murderers who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions; plus, he spits when he talks!

Weird Science

I've been tagged! Mary has posted her weirdness for the blog world to examine, I guess I'm next! I must tell 6 weird things about me...(only 6!?! It'd be easier to tell you 6 normal things about me... mayhap another meme)

Here are the rules: Each person who gets tagged needs to write a blog post of their own 6 weird things as well as clearly state this rule. After you state your 6 weird things, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you're tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog for information as to what it means. So here goes.

1. I have more than 6 weirdnesses about food! I won't eat casseroles (no matter how wonderful your gramma's recipe is, it's just uber gross to me!); I don't like my food to touch (Mitch once bought me cafeteria trays to keep my food separate <3);
2. I can pick up most anything with my toes! Mitch could too ::g:: we were so happy to discover both our offspring could, too!
3. Using both hands, I can write a word and it's mirror image simultaneously.
4. I have a terribly sick sense of humor. I have no problem speaking ill of the dead, bone breaking skateboarding accidents almost make me pee myself from laughter, while some folks may cringe, I'm laughing away...
5. I once had the Sean Connery monologue from "Highlander" as my answering machine message. One day I came home to several hangups and a message from some random guy saying how cool my message is. "From the dawn of time we came; moving silently down through the centuries, living many secret lives, struggling to reach the time of the Gathering; when the few who remain will battle to the last. No one has ever known we were among you... until now." ooooh, gives me chills just looking at the words! My friend Jayson once gave me an Italian poster of this movie, he said it was the coolest of all the posters made for this film. I used to be able to recite the entire film verbatim.
6. I have no sense of propriety when it comes to subject matter. I don't care if we're in a 5 star restaurant or at Grampa's funeral, if the topic of circumcision comes up, I'll discuss it (or Sex or Gross Stuff or Personal Stuff...) I'm genuinely shocked when I'm shushed or when people begin to turn green.

Tagged: (I can't wait!!)
1. Cris
2. Dar
3. Karen
4. Mel
5. Chas
6. Amy

There's a light....

...over at my Frankenstein place...
(you know it makes you wanna sing!)
I can sleep peacefully now, knowing when I wake up, this is what's in store for me:

Gemini: You are like a hot air balloon today, since your thoughts rise up above the events of your life. You are enthused and feel as if you could accomplish almost anything. Unfortunately, your sense of reality could be somewhat distorted, but don't let this prevent you from attempting the impossible. You just might surprise everyone, including yourself.
My reality is always distorted and it's not yet stopped me from doing the impossible... I'm looking forward to rising above and surprising myself!

Even this girl gets the blues...

Throwing myself a pity party right this minute... not even for anything big and real and awful, just that general malaise that seems to take ahold every once in a while that I somehow need to spotlight and poke like a fecking bruise.
I know I'm overwhelmed with grief... I know this, I just don't really know what to do about it.
I hate not having a car. I hate even more becoming resentful that I don't have a car. I love that I have one in waiting; we're so very excited to actually be able to drive Howard... but FUCK! we named him in October and here we sit, encroaching upon the end of January and he's not back together yet. Poor Uncle Troy, the guy's got RA and works all day as a mechanic, I can't imagine fixing up my car is at the top of his *great fun* list. I'd love to go over and cheer him along, being his hands, should he need... but alas, no fecking transportation! Yeah, it's also great that I'm not spending any money on gas (except for the bit of cash I feel compelled to give my dad for driving me). It's also great that gas is below $2/gallon...
I gotta get to that po-dunk town north of Watertown, Summit, to get the rest of our belongings out of Hermione and I have to figure out how to get us to Flandreau to pick up the things we left in Bemidji, including parts for Hayden's computer and his fairly large collection of video games. (Kelli sent them down with a friend, whom she thought would frequent SF, but alas, he e-mailed and doesn't think he'll be down here for quite some time...)
Our living situation continues to suck... not wholly, but mostly... I'm just sitting her totally overwhelmed by all the shit. My muse is on an extended cigarette break; my inspiration is non-existent... and the residual guilt over what I *should be* doing is driving me further and further under my rock. Where I can be comfy and cozy, snuggling up with some freshly laundered warm-from-the-dryer blankies... though they, too, are filled (every single fiber) with tortured memories I'd rather not deal with right now.
ack! I answered the phone and I really shouldn't have... hayden's friend's drunk daddy's on the line, giving me his drunken philosophies on life. I'm breathing and remembering Amy's words... this *must* be exactly where I'm supposed to be... someday I shall understand this madness as well... I guess I can be glad I'm not *him* and possibly even more glad that I am alone and not with someone like him.
Okay, his drunkenness talked me thru the moment... I'm much better now. Still think I'm a-gonna have me a big ol soulful (or soul-emptying) sobbing snotty cry tonight. Just 'cause I'm due.
Life is good. And tomorrow, I'm gonna believe that!

This is MY kid

Sometimes, I'm just so amazed at the power of my own Self... This guy came out of my body, as a representation of both his father and I, the love, the craziness, the fun, the joy.
I've learned more about life from and through Hayden than from anyone else on this planet. I'm proud to claim him and I strive to make him proud to be my kid...

So far, so good!

We are so blessed!