I'm Cartman, hee hee

Which South Park kid are you most like? Cartman You are just plain evil and heartless. Though you're sly, and you come up with brilliant schemes, you're pretty dumb and close minded. Other people hate you... screw them!

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Beverly Hills Apple Bake

Fighting germs and assorted other ickiness...

7 degrees of DiFonzo

I love it here in Corvallis! It's the most amazing, hip, liberal, green (in all definitions), college town. OSU would like us all to *paint the town orange* for the Ducks...
15 years ago, Mike DiFonzo was Duck, a big Fucka Duck. I didn't much care but it was a big deal to his brother, Mark. I wouldn't much care about that, either, 'cept at the time, Mark happened to hold a position of high esteem in my life, as my bestest friend's husband and sire to the two most amazing human children I've ever known. And at the time, was actually pretty good at both those jobs. Mike's claim to fame, however, is his relationship with Christine's former best friend and his wife; who was a total bitch (in that one snapshot moment in life).

How time flies! Mike's not a Duck, Ruthie's mellowed, Mark's gone off the deep end, Christine's evolving nicely and the spawn are still amazing. Go figger!

The most amazing, beautiful creature to carry the DiFonzo name and genes... All Hail The Divine Miss Z!

Dianazation of the English Language!

It's official! I'm taking over :) Thank you to Christine, for your insight and humor... more of this list to come, I'm sure of it!!!

Dianasize (verb) : to Diana-size one's food, to take apart a food item and re-assemble in a more appetizing way. ie., ZoAnne, stop dianasizing you taco and just eat the dang thing!

Hurricane Diana (noun) : when Diana visits and brings with her a swirling wind of activity, joy and, yea, maybe some destruction. ie., I'm hiding in the room when Hurricane Diana blows into town. (guess who? :-)

Dianazation (adverb) : when a room is re-done in one day with mismatch floral prints and mystical type objects. ie., We went to Target & a botanica to complete dianazation of the bedroom.

Divine Spark of Diana (noun) : Acknowledgment of the divinity within persons named Diana and anyone else feeling sparky. ie., The divine spark of Spanky took the form of a nude Goddess Diana Doll in clay.

Anti-Diana (adverb) : Anyone who's dour, cynical, unethical, inauthentic, uninspired, generally cranky and boring. ie., That Anti-Diana woman probably shops at Walmart.

Oral Dianarea (verb) : The ability to speak, at length, on topic, with volume and emphasis while delivering a controversial point of view. ie., We had to pull the plug on the mic when the speaker got Oral-Dianarea.

The Diana Vortex (noun): The whirly-swirlyness that is diana's energy force; resistance is futile! The cause of others to never actually leave her orbit permanently; you will be sucked back in.

Readjust Mercury so I can go home...

General Daily Overview: Today's gracious Libra Moon presents a dilemma, for while we attempt to balance our needs with others, we can also feel the pressure of responsibility as the Sun squares restrictive Saturn. We have no choice; we must slow down to navigate through the obstacles that appear before us. It could be challenging to make the right long-term decision, for we must respect authority in whatever form it appears, even if it is blocking the most sensible path.

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20):Tomorrow, your planet Mercury reaches the end of its retrograde cycle and some aspects of your life should begin to move forward. But first you must answer to the harsh judgment of Saturn, forcing you to re-examine a difficult situation. Even if you are overwhelmed, nothing is impossible now. The feelings that are holding you back also contain the seed for your forward movement. Do not accept defeat, for today's discussions can set the stage for tomorrow's progress.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The brakes are being fixed... I've got $100 donation towards that cause, the rest I'm leaving up to the fates... we will get home, safely and soundly (and maybe even sanely!).
Maybe this means the key to Happy Trails is to do my Zen Dish Duty and remain open to possibilities. Thank you Scott Noelle for giving me the terminology: Receiving Mode; I'm done asking, now I await the answers.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Hayden was afraid to get up yesterday, he thought everyone would be mean to him... poor kid; no one was mean at all. This is where "sorry" works well... we all know it's not on purpose, it's just a general dislike of stinky. Jon was funny, as he covered the couch & chair skeletons with garbage bags and just because, he took the cushions off all remaining furniture - the house looks over flowing with cushions now :) We even played around imagining what to do with the skeletons, fill them to overflowing with throw pillows?
Hayden even said it's an okay situation to be funny instead of serious; it makes him feel better.

ATCs

I've gone nuts, it's official!! I *think* I've done about 26 cards over the last two days... some I was inspired to do to trade in the caption trade and *finally* participate in the Imagination Tribe, some I want to send on as Holiday Gifts and some were just plain inspired by the whirly swirlys currently around me (i.e. I made one of Buck before I knew it was his last night and another from my gods dream -- see applicable posts!). I made the Far/Near set in response to Tony's call... I wish one of us would just say: "Ya know, I think we should stick around one another for a while and see if this *this* actually becomes something." In the vein of not wanting to be the grownup, I'm not gonna be the one who says it... oops! too late!

This set is my Tribal Set. These are in response to the women I have gathered around me lately... lots of fire dancing theme going on last night... the quote is "Speak to the goddess and she will answer" The bottom one is a mis-matched tribe and the word "Wild"; the last one is one I made specifically for Jeanie and it's women dancing 'round a fire with the word "Sister." (I'm sending it off to Tony today with his cards... ask for it if he doesn't offer it!!)

Happy Trails, Sir Buck

Today's the day...
I'm so sad for Tony.
I'm so glad for Buck.
Cancer sucks, Heaven rocks.
Tony's grateful.
He's proud.
He knows returning the gift
is the right thing to do.
He's honored to have known this Spirit.
He's honored to have loved.
His heart is stretching.
Feels like breaking,
but it won't; it can't.
It keeps beating.
Stronger for the exercise.
Better for the practice.
Open to something new.

Today's Stars

Diana's Horoscope: ...You may be running tapes through your mind about issues at home, about your feelings, or about memories from your past. Unless you can keep your mind away from personal issues, you may as well take the afternoon off.

But that's always true!

Well put me over the barrel and gimme the pickle!

Ya know, sometimes Life just sucks... and worse yet, I can see the why it sucks and how easily it could unsuck in one place, but I have can't yet see the possibilities of Life unsucking all the way around. And it's a car. But it's the brakes, they're important ya see, and, unfortunately for me, expensive. I kinda need 'em to get home, but if I buy 'em I can't get home. I can take the car to another place, but I'm gonna have to pay that savings (praying the 2nd place is cheaper) to the first mechanic for his time already spent investigating my brake situation. The lady called, as I talked to her I ate a fortune cookie: Your sly nature will get you out of a tight spot. I gave her the sob story: it's fix the car and be stranded or don't fix the car and pray we make it home. The price did miraculously drop by almost $80 overnight, maybe Greg will decide he doesn't need to make any money off the sad girl this year. Even at cost brakes are a PITA, but c'mon, I'm good Karma :) I *can* stay here, I can figure out a way to make the next cupola weeks easier to be here and that's a big possibility. It really is beautiful and magical here (the sun just came out as I'm typing - yay!!) That would mean we won't be home for Mitch's Death Day (which actually now sounds appealing...), nor the biggies like the women's retreat *I* scheduled, nor our first Full Moon Circle; oh yeah Thanksgiving falls in there, but the idea of quiet nothing sounds appealing there, too.
It's just one of those days when being the grown up just fucking sucks.
Hm, it's funny that I sit and worry about Hayden through all of this and I remember the talk I got from Marty and Madelyn... Hayden will be Hayden in whatever context Life doles out, it's best to parent in a way that keeps us open to one another and in a way that feels good, not to take his frustration personally while I'm striving to provide the tools for him to alleviate his angst (all the while striving to minimize my cause of said angst). It was an "on the right track, mama" with a great shift to an objective perspective. (If I may summarize... it was pretty powerful to listen to their take on the Hayden/diana situation; they were honest and open, direct, I'd even say hardcore!)

Delirious Dreams

Last night I fitfully dreamt, as I tossed and turned wrapped in Hayden's Aunt Karna woobie.
I remember cursing at the gods, convincing them that I stand before them NOT as their own personal plaything, but as a flesh-and-blood human being and by-golly my feelings count! I threatened to become atheist, worse yet faithless, turning my back on them, not only firing them from their jobs, but eliminating the position entirely, casting them into nonexistence (even worse than Neil Gaiman's American Gods). I don't know if they reacted (sumbitches!), but I felt empty, not even able to cry. But with bizarre insight and clear vision -- Focus. Always an unfocused focus, clarity and no where to cast it. Kinda like at the hands of the schoolyard bullies I was intimately familiar with... ooooh, now there's some psychotherapy waiting to happen!
Can we say RETROGRADE? Danggummit, I'm really feeling it.
I got no gumption. I got no spark. Blech.
Apathy, my worst enemy.

On an upnote, Hayden came in later and snuggled with me (with Hannah's woobie!).

I read in my new Woman's Confidence book from Kelli - it's one of those open anywhere for Wisdom books - the woman spoke of forgiving her Past Self, the one who's behavior makes her cringe upon reflection. She imagined that Past Self cowering in shame for causing such pain to her now Present Self. None of what had happened was with malicious intent toward our Future Self (though some might have existed right there for the current Present Self). When we hold that message in our hearts and come to know and own Who We Are Now as a beautiful culmination of our Past Selves. Life really is For Giving and BEing forgiving, especially to ourselves. If I'm not on my own Team, who else will wanna be?

Ah, part of this was sparked, I'm sure, by a new blog Mary found: PostSecret.blogspot.com, it's odd and cool and disturbing and creative. I think I want to do some Secret ATCs, just for me to keep or share with others, secretly.


Life is so random.


'cept when it's not.