Don't make me EAT you!

Poor T! I warned her about what happens to your instinctual drive when you spawn. Yep, she laughed then and she's a-knowin' now! I would be laughing now, but I have zero desire to be eaten ;) I told her, her internal mama bear would delight in eating the faces of those who reach for your baby when she's not comfortable. I told her she'd not want to put that baby down. I told her nursing would only reinforce these things, giving her a physical response to her baby's needs (#1 reason I think women should nurse). Yeah, it happened. The g-folk aren't terrifically excited to only look at their new and only grandchild. They want to poke and prod. To the mama, that just seems cruel and separating when all she wants is calm and kind and attached. Oh the sniffing is pretty dang good, I have no qualms myself just stickin' my nose right on her breastmilk-smellin head and soak her in. Then again, I don't much care if I see T's tatas and neither does she. I don't think T'd much care if her MIL saw her tatas, she cares more that MIL doesn't want to see them. She doesn't want to pass her baby around groups. Frankly nothing made me cry more intensely than someone refusing to return my baby to me at first peep. There's that sound that my pituitary gland is programmed to and when it happens (it's like Jamie Sommer's super hearing) my whole body responds. Immediately. Give back the baby. The baby knows who s/he's comfortable with and lets the world know quite clearly. Respond. Positively. Let the kid know you're on their side by keeping them comfortable. Gramma can come over, chances are the baby will be nursing or sleeping at equal odds to wakefulness at this point. If there's a seeing tatas issue and a *don't wake the baby* issue, Gramma's got 2/3 chance of being disappointed in the interaction.
T and I are of the second living generation of attached parents in our family. We've got some gentle parenting models (not life-long and not to the degree of respect to which I aspire, there's good baby support). Most of the time, though, it does feel like we're making it up as we go along. I imagine that's the parenting part. Following the instinct seems, in theory, that it would be easy. Do what causes win/win for you and your child. Following instinct surrounded by those who have stuffed their own and assimilated to our detached American model, is just a tiny bit tougher. I'm glad T's putting up the resistance. I'm glad she's doing her research. She's a considerate mommy. I don't think that's too much to ask. Consider. BE considerate about what you do. Especially your spawn. She's yours and only YOURS chickie. We've got her whole life long to share. Right now, I'm patient. Check out today's Daily Om. Guardians. We should all take our human job as seriously.