A real post

Here I am! Ready or not, I'm gonna talk about where I'm at...

I'm a-singing "only women bleed" and I'm so glad I'm not a lesbian! If I had to deal with another hormonal beast in this realm, I think I'd eat her. No guilt. For those of you who do make this work, super kudos to you!! Scotty's life has only been in danger once, that was the day before the blood flood broke loose. Poor guy, he really wants to wrap his brain around diana's world and it's impossible for him (as yet) to understand that *I* cannot wrap my brain around how things work in/with/for me, the most of the time. We've had these way cool sociological conversations (albeit hypothetical) about male and female roles in life. Not limited to our American "everyone can do anything, we can do it all, we're all equal" bullshit mentality. I've got a strong stand of: women are genetically better at these things in this realm and men have theirs in those. It doesn't make sense for a man to lament that he'll never be able to give birth; get over it and get on to what you can do, what you're designed for.
Okay folks, this is why the femi-nazis would love my address so they could put flaming bags of poo outside my door. I don't think mothers have a place in the work world. I don't think children's security should be sacrificed so mama can have a paycheck and prestige to feel more like a True American Woman. I think this is the worst thing to have come out of the bra burning 60s. Oprah says it best: You can have it all. You just can't have it all at the same time. Our children need their mothers. Not a paid replacement. If you just can't stand to be around your kids, give 'em to someone who can. Permanently. That said, I absolutely hold working-out-of-necessity mothers in a totally different category and, well, I have further issue with the sperm donors in those situations not being able to provide for their child AND their child's mother. A mother's domain is the house and the kids - not the same thing as the 50s housfrau, maybe an enlightened close comparison. By virtue of the time invested, this is her office space, it is her expertise. Dad can be the expert of his job, the garage and the yard and the dinner cooking. Poor Scotty has taken this tirade to mean that men and their roles are sidelined to bringing home a paycheck. That's it. There's no room for a (whole) man in the picture I've painted. The biggest issue with that is I don't know, I just don't. I've not lived this lifestyle with a male partner. I certainly have more familial experience as in raising my family, most of my experience comes from being a single mama, not a partnered one. I see both sides of the single mama coin right now. It *is* just easier to do it myself when I don't wanna exert the effort to freaking explain myself when I seriously don't have a single experience of my own to base any opinion on. I've got plenty of families to model for me, all but one are families of original mom and dad. The one family with non-bio dad in the home, discovered the unschooling lifestyle together, as a family unit. I get to hoe the brand-new row of blending family members with an already established unschooling life. I'll tell ya, the other day when an ethical situation came up and Hayden questioned, Scotty responded with, "That's ethics, you'll have to talk to your mom about it." I almost ate him right there. I was horrified that he left himself out of that conversation, as if *my* ethics are the only ones that count. Eeewww!! Did I really send that message? Certainly not the one I intended to send. I've been a part of this community for so long, it's just downright strange to me that he doesn't yet see my job as providing a buffet of varied perspectives so that Hayden can come up with the blend of his very own. I don't don't don't want a mini me. Except that maybe I'd like my kid to be as considerate of his opinions/ethics/ideas as I am; flexible with them, understanding they are organic and subject to change as one grows, learns, experiences and matures. I'd like my kid to know I'm not the only game in town. There are others just like us and others diametrically opposite of us and plenty more all over in between. Humanity smörgåsbord. Life as a smörgåsbord. Turns out, the talk I had with Hayden about the ethical situation at hand (real, NOT hypothetical) was much like it would have gone if Scotty were the other human in the equation instead of me. Yet, he found himself afraid of *stepping on toes* should he say something that is different than what I would say. I can see that too. Where is the balance? :::shrug::: I dunno. I do know that Hayden will miss a great opportunity in his life if he is excluded from Scotty's thoughts. Certainly, I would never bring anyone into our family's vortex without a firm belief they had something to offer the whole famn damily! I offered up SSUDS at Live and Learn in September, selling as a great chance for him to talk to the guys and get their perspectives, a highlight of most newbie dads' conference experience. Then I got the whole *sexist* accusation. Aaarrgghh!! So I offered him the numbers of the mamas who have that same attitude, should he want advice from them. Who and how would Scotty benefit most from? A beer with the guys at SSUDS. Too bad it offends him in it's very existence.
How do I articulate what it is I cannot articulate? I'm gonna poop and ponder.