completely lost yesterday. don't know what happened, I slept away most of it. totally avoided the candle light service last night. absolutely not ready to go public.
Happy Solstice to Hayden, we picked up Guitar Hero II this morning... I'm feeling guilty because the disc for GHI is missing... and I got no gumption. So we each paid half and he gets his solstice gift 11 days early :) He just played Surrender by Cheap Trick. We used to sing it to the kids all the time. Long forgotten Family Anthem. Just know that this is what you got, Life is easier if you just surrender.
This is the December I got. I gotta surrender. I gotta surrender the Decembers I've already had. I've got to surrender the Decembers I won't ever have. I've gotta surrender to *this* December. To this only one time ever in this lifetime, this December right here. The one chance I've got at Now. Mama's alright; she just seems a little weird.
I surrender my sadness to the here and now.
I surrender my gift for joymaking and commit to sharing it with the world today.
I'm gettin' the gumption.
I'm dressed and out of bed. Not shrieking.
Three signs it's could be a good day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dave Koz has a great holiday album, "December Makes Me Feel This Way" with a very peaceful picture of Dave smiling in the snow. He wrote it after his dad died. It's that melancholy joy that doesn't quite make sense, even in the midst of it. I'm gonna hang out with Dave and his saxophone today...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daily Horoscope for Gemini: Life can get complicated as you are left unsatisfied by the same light and easy interactions that are usually quite fulfilling. Although serious emotions can make you feel uneasy, you are being asked to swim into deeper waters now. You have much to learn about intimacy, though you may try to avoid the intensity at all costs. You can get ahead of the wave by diving in before you are pushed.
>hmmm, I am feeling this; it's not serious emotions making me feel uneasy, it's emotions, it's any emotional swimming of any kind. Yeah intimacy and intensity, fuck you, I'm just fine right here firmly on the sand, watching. Yeah, like that. So. Yeah. Huh? Right. I can, too. Right here. Stayin. Sure. For now. Not long, though. Okay, fine! I'll feel, but it will suck. Not mostly suck, some suck, but suck just the same. Just so ya know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. - Kurt Vonnegut
>well, I've got that going for me, I'm a freakin' laugh a minute over here! Somebody come laugh at me!
This is the December I got. I gotta surrender. I gotta surrender the Decembers I've already had. I've got to surrender the Decembers I won't ever have. I've gotta surrender to *this* December. To this only one time ever in this lifetime, this December right here. The one chance I've got at Now. Mama's alright; she just seems a little weird.
I surrender my sadness to the here and now.
I surrender my gift for joymaking and commit to sharing it with the world today.
I'm gettin' the gumption.
I'm dressed and out of bed. Not shrieking.
Three signs it's could be a good day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dave Koz has a great holiday album, "December Makes Me Feel This Way" with a very peaceful picture of Dave smiling in the snow. He wrote it after his dad died. It's that melancholy joy that doesn't quite make sense, even in the midst of it. I'm gonna hang out with Dave and his saxophone today...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daily Horoscope for Gemini: Life can get complicated as you are left unsatisfied by the same light and easy interactions that are usually quite fulfilling. Although serious emotions can make you feel uneasy, you are being asked to swim into deeper waters now. You have much to learn about intimacy, though you may try to avoid the intensity at all costs. You can get ahead of the wave by diving in before you are pushed.
>hmmm, I am feeling this; it's not serious emotions making me feel uneasy, it's emotions, it's any emotional swimming of any kind. Yeah intimacy and intensity, fuck you, I'm just fine right here firmly on the sand, watching. Yeah, like that. So. Yeah. Huh? Right. I can, too. Right here. Stayin. Sure. For now. Not long, though. Okay, fine! I'll feel, but it will suck. Not mostly suck, some suck, but suck just the same. Just so ya know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. - Kurt Vonnegut
>well, I've got that going for me, I'm a freakin' laugh a minute over here! Somebody come laugh at me!
1 comment:
"Most people don't know there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don't get too comfortable & fall asleep & miss your life."
"I've always thought death was a lot like Christmas, he said. I can't wait to find out if being good the whole time was worth it. "
"She said she usually cried at least once each day not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful & life was so short."
"If you hold on to the handle, she said, it's easier to maintain the illusion of control. But it's more fun if you just let the wind carry you."
"We lay there & looked up at the night sky & she told me about stars called blue squares & red swirls & I told her I'd never heard of them. Of course not, she said, the really important stuff they never tell you. You have to imagine it on your own."
Some of the various Storypeople, various artists, I came across at a gallery in Nisswa,MN. So many make me think of you...
Pull through woman :)
Me
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