A.C.T.

This advice deserves it's own post... powerful! To serve as a great expression of what *IS* and an amazing testament to the inherent wisdom within Christine...

>>I have a huge fear of holiday family gatherings... the business-as-usual act is gonna grate on me, but turning Hannah into a side-show will, too... where is the balance? Where can we miss her and be so sad she's not here and still have a joyful holiday with our Lights renewed through one another? <<

Acknowledge that you miss her, outloud,
Commit to the feeling, cry, speak, walk away, whatever,
Transition the feeling, for the JOY that actually exists, AS
Hannah, through Hannah, for all of you this Christmas.

This was my instinct, cuz, geez, if you can't fall apart and be miserable around your family, then recover, eat some hot plate...and go home, then it's just not Christmas!!

I admire you very much, your ability to balance your grief with the joy that is Diana, it is an amazing act of Geminitis, perhaps even inventing a new emotion known has Dianaitis: simultaneously being gut wrenching sad and giggling like a fool, with tears streaming down your grinning face.

hang in there (lame phrase)

Love You (cool phrase)

Christine

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If *this* is what's hiding beneath anyone's fear, a deep intense beautiful Wisdom, then I say we all need to take Amy's advice and "fuck away the fear and maybe, just maybe, the distain will disappear!" That icky self-distain that prevents us from being wholly who we are. I feel it creeping in, an unwelcome addition to my list... ah, but it is the list that attracts it...
Life is Good and I will continue to be supported in this view by the world around me.
I am lucky and I am blessed.
Thanks.