As the Xmas hostess, I wanted my home and my life to be the safe haven for these kids to come see their "mom" for the holiday. I also wanted myself and my family to be safe from judgment and scorn. I took care of myself by burning away my resentment in our Yule fire on Solstice, we rang bells to every diety known and unknown to help our family with this journey from fear into light.
I sent the message that the family was completely welcome in my home, that I wished for them to remain on the premesis to aid in consistency with the children (at least they'd know *these people* aren't gonna ditch them!). I also put every guest on alert for the day - my sister was NOT to have any unsupervised time at the gathering, we were all responsible for making sure she was not left alone to do anything inappropriate!
The day was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!!!
They arrived, all four kids in tow -- all clean and well-fed and LOVED!! The babe was clinging to his Daddy in that beautiful "hero worship" kind of way...
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Xmas Miracles I - the background
A bit of background... My sister has given birth 7 times: DeAnna, Angel, Joseph, Vincent, T'Anna, MacKenzie, and Tyler. DeAnna was adopted by my parents and is now my baby sister, Angel died a short 7 days after birth. The next three were removed from her custody by the state: Joseph and Vincent were adopted by family in Mpls, T'Anna (now Anna) was adopted by her foster mother. MacKenzie and Tyler have recently gone to live with their brothers in Mpls, hopefully to be adopted into their family. [my mother witnessed the cauterization of the fallopian tubes after Ty's birth--Yippee!!]
I have a long background with the adoptive family, I've known the dad (my "uncle") for most of my life and we have enjoyed a wonderful relationship over the years. I was instrumental in their foster/adoption of the boys and have pulled many a string to get the remaining two children into their custody.
The miracle comes into play with just a bit more background... We'd often visit my family on road trips to Mpls; after the adoption of the boys, it was incredibly difficult for the family to have contact or reminder of the family from which these boys came - so horribly damaged and in need of so much love and healing. There came a point where *I* became the target of all they were feeling towards my sister; it was a ugly and painful confrontation that has left a gaping wound in our family for over a year. I was asked to end all contact until a time where I had a job and could prove that I was *better* than my sister and not just a replay of her sad, sick, psychosis. I've always known in my heart that patience was the key, to continue doing what I do and Being who I Am would leave an opening for reconciliation and relationship.
MacKenzie and Tyler were cared for by strangers for the past many months while my sister ran off to the carnival. God may be truly the only one who knows what these kids have had to endure! For months, I've said the kids need to go live with their brothers, for them to further heal and for these kids to have a reasonable chance at a good life... Finally, it sunk in! My sister sent them to "stay" in late November.
Then I hear the gossip - My sister is manipulating the whole situation! She did award Power of Atty for Childcare to the family, but is refusing further action if she doesn't get to keep the little ones for a week over Xmas (without the adoptive parents present). This, after she talked to Mac on her birthday and told her "those people are not your parents, they stole you from me! Do not call them Mommy and Daddy!"
I have a long background with the adoptive family, I've known the dad (my "uncle") for most of my life and we have enjoyed a wonderful relationship over the years. I was instrumental in their foster/adoption of the boys and have pulled many a string to get the remaining two children into their custody.
The miracle comes into play with just a bit more background... We'd often visit my family on road trips to Mpls; after the adoption of the boys, it was incredibly difficult for the family to have contact or reminder of the family from which these boys came - so horribly damaged and in need of so much love and healing. There came a point where *I* became the target of all they were feeling towards my sister; it was a ugly and painful confrontation that has left a gaping wound in our family for over a year. I was asked to end all contact until a time where I had a job and could prove that I was *better* than my sister and not just a replay of her sad, sick, psychosis. I've always known in my heart that patience was the key, to continue doing what I do and Being who I Am would leave an opening for reconciliation and relationship.
MacKenzie and Tyler were cared for by strangers for the past many months while my sister ran off to the carnival. God may be truly the only one who knows what these kids have had to endure! For months, I've said the kids need to go live with their brothers, for them to further heal and for these kids to have a reasonable chance at a good life... Finally, it sunk in! My sister sent them to "stay" in late November.
Then I hear the gossip - My sister is manipulating the whole situation! She did award Power of Atty for Childcare to the family, but is refusing further action if she doesn't get to keep the little ones for a week over Xmas (without the adoptive parents present). This, after she talked to Mac on her birthday and told her "those people are not your parents, they stole you from me! Do not call them Mommy and Daddy!"
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Taxidermy (and the connections that led us here...)
When Patches dies, I want to tan her hide --no, silly, not in that authoritarian "woodshed" sense-- just like people do to dead bears, tigers, and other safari animals they've never met nor loved. She's so dang pretty, I'd love to wake up looking at her on my wall (no, not mounted like a statue, that's just toooooo creepy, even for me!). People freak out when I tell them this... I don't quite get it :)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The other day, I was talking to George about my love of furs, especially mink, especially in the form of stoles and muffs. I was recalling a particular stole that David owns, the dead animal has a clip under it's mouth so it can "bite" itself on the tail and remain positioned.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Yesterday, George found such a stole! It was in his storage, it must have been his mother's. It was made from four full minks, claws and teeth intact. It even had the mouth clippy thingie! There was also a beautiful white mink coat in the trunk, which is now *mine!* I walked around for hours just touching it and appreciating it! :::momentary break, gotta touch the coat, aahh, much better::: He also found a fox fur, just the fur, nothing done to it since tanning. I showed it to the kids as an example of what I want to do with Patches; they were grossed out! I tried the "but no one loved this fox as much as we love Patches and yet someone thought it important to keep it's fur" to no avail.
The conversation grew from there... I asked Hannah to carry the mink coat downstairs for me, but she refused to touch it. She doesn't like the idea of someone using animal fur. I talked about how the animal didn't need the fur any more, as it was dead, and isn't it wonderful to continue to be purposeful even dead? She didn't buy it! She did concede that it *might* be okay to use animal skins if indeed you ate the animal, but to kill an animal just for it's fur was sick and wrong.
We're laying in bed, me, Hannah & Patches and Hannah brings up the topic again. She really wants Patches' ashes to keep with Daddy's, maybe spread some out in California where Patches was born. I came up with a great design for a muff of Patches, a wrap-around so her head would be laying over the top, as I slid my hands inside. "Oh MOM, why don't you just string her up and put one hand in her mouth and the other up her butt!" "Great idea!" I reply. "How about making slippers, like Daddy wanted to do?" she asked. "Sure! Her head on one and her butt on the other!" Nope, she didn't like that one either...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I dunno, maybe I'll just have her cremated and we'll just learn to live with the memory of her softness. I'll be sad, but mostly because my kitty is gone, not that I didn't get to keep her fur.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The other day, I was talking to George about my love of furs, especially mink, especially in the form of stoles and muffs. I was recalling a particular stole that David owns, the dead animal has a clip under it's mouth so it can "bite" itself on the tail and remain positioned.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Yesterday, George found such a stole! It was in his storage, it must have been his mother's. It was made from four full minks, claws and teeth intact. It even had the mouth clippy thingie! There was also a beautiful white mink coat in the trunk, which is now *mine!*
The conversation grew from there... I asked Hannah to carry the mink coat downstairs for me, but she refused to touch it. She doesn't like the idea of someone using animal fur. I talked about how the animal didn't need the fur any more, as it was dead, and isn't it wonderful to continue to be purposeful even dead? She didn't buy it! She did concede that it *might* be okay to use animal skins if indeed you ate the animal, but to kill an animal just for it's fur was sick and wrong.
We're laying in bed, me, Hannah & Patches and Hannah brings up the topic again. She really wants Patches' ashes to keep with Daddy's, maybe spread some out in California where Patches was born. I came up with a great design for a muff of Patches, a wrap-around so her head would be laying over the top, as I slid my hands inside. "Oh MOM, why don't you just string her up and put one hand in her mouth and the other up her butt!" "Great idea!" I reply. "How about making slippers, like Daddy wanted to do?" she asked. "Sure! Her head on one and her butt on the other!" Nope, she didn't like that one either...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I dunno, maybe I'll just have her cremated and we'll just learn to live with the memory of her softness. I'll be sad, but mostly because my kitty is gone, not that I didn't get to keep her fur.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Patches D. Cat
That kitty cat there, she's Patches. Her mama, Boo-boo, was pregnant when I moved in with Dave & Dana. They said they were keeping one kitten and I was allowed one, too. When I saw Patches, September 4, 1991, just moments after her birth, I knew she was *mine.* There was Sybil, too, colored just like Patch but long haired, with perfect 1/2 orange 1/2 black face, and Cheeba, long haired *other kind* of calico. Finally, they decided to keep Cheeba, I got my Patches and Sybil went to live with some punks who renamed her Thrasher.
Cheeba moved to SD with us, too, as Mitch had somehow adopted her when he moved into my life. She was quickly and easily *his* kitty. When he got sick, she ran away.
Patches stayed, but that's because she's *my* kitty.
Cheeba moved to SD with us, too, as Mitch had somehow adopted her when he moved into my life. She was quickly and easily *his* kitty. When he got sick, she ran away.
Patches stayed, but that's because she's *my* kitty.
Friday, November 25, 2005
Post Turkey Day
Hannah & Elizabeth on Karoke, Hayden & Alex watching Spongebob, I've got The God File to read... life IS good!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Our Family Pictures
David came over the other day to take our pictures for a Holiday Card... It's officially a business relationship, the pictures cost me $40 and a slice of cherry pie
It was very fun to have him over, he is always fun to be around. I'm glad the kids have gotten past being angry about his departure from our lives, I just hope they've not run out of faith in the men in my life!
Practice, practice, practice, that's what I'm modeling for them -- gotta try on a whole lotta relationships before I happen upon the right one (or at least the one worth working on!).
So here are the fruits of my labor, captured by the fruit of David's ;) Enjoy!
It was very fun to have him over, he is always fun to be around. I'm glad the kids have gotten past being angry about his departure from our lives, I just hope they've not run out of faith in the men in my life!
Practice, practice, practice, that's what I'm modeling for them -- gotta try on a whole lotta relationships before I happen upon the right one (or at least the one worth working on!).
So here are the fruits of my labor, captured by the fruit of David's ;) Enjoy!
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