*I AM*erica! Blog for Choice

On this 35th Anniversary of Row v Wade, I find myself pro-choice.
I used to be here on purpose, now, I don't think the term accurately describes my perspective.
*I'm an American Citizen by Birth first, now by Choice.
*I am of legal age to vote, drink and consent to sexual relations (as legal in my state).
These two things are the only criteria the Supreme Court should ever use in interpreting the Constitution. I'm a Constitutionalist. For real. The Constitution of the United States of America applies to all citizens regardless of any outside criteria. Period. Which means the access to informed consent to any and all medical technology (including medications, expertise, procedures) available to any and all other American Citizens. Period.
My rights are not forfeited nor altered in the presence of my *X* Chromosome; My rights are not altered in the presence (or lack thereof) of pigmentation in my skin; My rights are not altered based on my bank account; My rights are not altered based on any book's judgment of my lifestyle.
All (hu)men are created equal.
It's the spirit that founded this fine country and it is the mantra that will carry us forward.

~Ms. Roe, wherever you may be today, I tip my hat to your reminder that indeed, Justice is Blind and sometimes there still is Liberty and Freedom in being American.
~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~
And I've been that chick.
That chick who now refers to the process as Releasing the Spirit.
It was at the Sheryl Crowe concert. Sturgis 2001. In the tent! Whooo!

Yeah, it was also 8 months after my husband died, my kids were on the verge of 5 & 3, I was still figuring out this whole new universe. I was not smoking pot (which works amazingly as birth control) and I was taking this new-fangled anti-depressant I convinced the doctor at the free clinic to prescribe me. I didn't have time to be depressed or go to therapy. So I got these pills that come with a gigantic warning: do not, under any circumstances even think about getting pregnant while taking this medication. it's a bad situation.
What the label didn't say and should have: you will surrender all ability to think while taking this medication. your world will fall apart, although nothing has changed. you will topple over that edge you've been so carefully balanced upon and nothing can save you. clawing and flailing are a waste of your energy. your rational mind will be muted, at chemical gunpoint, while your emotions run amok. you should stay home, send your children to the drive in with your folks and suck your thumb while curled fetal-style in the middle of your bed. do not speak to anyone, you know not what you say. do not, under any circumstances enter public establishments with your tumultuous lover. the sturgis bike rally is off limits! no matter how good you think you look in those pants. stay home!
I was a basket case.
A really really cute one.
In the midst of an amazing emotion-tangled tumultuous love affair.
My emotions ran amok.
I went out in public.
I had a roller-coaster crazy-manic-fest in leather pants and good music.
And a tent.
I have a picture of that day, I just saw it not long ago.
A Lifetime Ago.

~♥~

I was in Amy's backyard a week later, when I couldn't breathe. My heart was going to jump out of my chest and my skin was going to crawl right along after it. Leaving me behind. Bones and goo. I called the doctor. Do you feel like you're overdosing on cocaine? Ummm... I *guess* this is what that might feel like. You should stop taking the pills. You're having side effects. Anything I can do to help *now*? Ride it out.
I was still riding it out another week later, again in Amy's backyard, when the second line showed up on the test. My period was due in three days. I already knew. Fuck me running!
Hi, it's your spazoid psycho consistent female companion. yeah. you knocked me up the other weekend at Sheryl Crowe... yeah, fuck! yeah. well. I'll figure something out. don't worry. whatever.
And I climbed in the bathtub and cried. A lot.
Then on the third warm-up or so, I decided to talk to this little being in me.
We communed for a long time. I thanked her for coming (we're all girls at that point ;) and for the Gifts her Existence would bring to me and through me. I apologized for not being a forever home for her. I wished her an amazing New Life, beyond mine at this moment, and asked that she let me know where she lands if she could. I dabbled Moon Flower scent on me and promised to remember her with the moon, always.
The next day, there was a check in the mail from Mitch's insurance company for $500.
I went to planned parenthood and asked for a medical abortion. I didn't want instruments in my uterus thankyouverymuch. Somehow I got through the appointments. There were at least a couple, probably because of South Dakota law. I was only 4 weeks post conception, barely pregnant by any medical standards. I knew what had to happen and I was at peace and so was this BabySpirit. Male companion dude was doing his own coping. or not.
I got a shot in the hip. The kind that stops rapid cell development.
And some inserts for a few days later. To open my cervix, so she could leave my body.
When she did go, it was peaceful and private. Just us. We wished each other well.
See ya later...
~♥~
later that afternoon...
Diana? It's Big Joe! We just found out ~ We're pregnant! We'll have a baby in May ♥
Indeed we did.
His name is Dezmo and he really digs his forever parents. ♥
~♥~
The most important thing I learned? All really is as it should be. Really.
(meaning: sometimes when Life gives you a really good fecking reason to be depressed, your whole being wants to BE in the womb of depression, for fucks sake, be depressed already! Revel in it and get on with yourself. Otherwise misery'll sneak up and bite you on the ass. Fer real!)

My Sacred Life, Day 6

Patches D. Cat
Born September 4, 1992 (Virgo)
Bon Chat
Madame Chat
La Reina Gata
Former Fat Cat
Now Skinny Kitty
A Jenner Family Icon
A suspected incarnation (horcrux anyone?) of Elizabeth Taylor
Patches had my heart before Mitch.
Patches was here before Hannah was created.
Patches outlasted her sister, Cheba.
Patches welcomed Hayden.
Patches stayed beyond Mitch.
Patches mourned Hannah.
Patches approved Scotty.
Patches knows who her mommy is. She recognized and claimed me the day she was born. A magical match, we two.
A touch of her fur is a reminder of where I've been. The collective Me who is here Now. Thank you for the Gifts of your Wisdom and Love. Thank you for finding me worthy of your service. It is an honor. Amen.

Dear Mr. Huckabee,

My curiosity about you has been piqued since your recent guitar playing, honestly. And some controversy with homeschoolers. Controversy led me to discover my own version of Truth.

So I decided to head straight to the source of Mike Huckabee information, MikeHuckabee.com.
I watched approximately 45 minutes of interview clips of you, your family, friends and residents of Arkansas speak of an amazing human being who would like to be President. A man who is ready to finally apply some good ol' American "Can Do!" attitude back into our ailing country. A man of great faith who expressed great respect for those who's beliefs differ from his own. A human striving to emulate the example of Christ in relating to his fellow humans.
Especially as you spoke, emotionally, about Hurricane Katrina and those neighbors most affected. You shared your Christ-like belief in caring for those in need, even at the expense of Self. As Governor of Arkansas, I can see you walked your faith in a deep and real way.
I was also struck by the revered way you spoke of the children of your state; how you considered each decision that would affect a child by thinking of each child you're impacting as your own. You have a great wisdom in your desire for all children to have a well-rounded exposure to Life; that school's teaching to the test mentality is a true disservice to American children and to the future Adults they will become.
My goodness! My heart was won! I wanted to pick up the phone right that minute and invite you to dinner. We could talk for hours. By the time I served coffee, you'd be in love with me, too. I could so give you pointers on winning the hearts of some freaky way cool voters & fill you in on how this country could utilize our kick-ass potential for amazingness.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then I clicked on Issues.
Then I cried.
Oh, my.
Um, I don't understand at all.
I don't see Christ in your ideals for America.
Would Christ really treat his next door neighbors as hostile invaders?
Would Christ see those from whom we've wrested 1/2 our land as unworthy of our compassion and love and mercy?
Would Christ not see the Love between all humans?
Would Christ deny your child full rights under the Constitution? Should the Law of our fine country, which states a clear separation of Church and State, take a stand that is only Biblical in nature? Can we deny Constitutional Rights to American Citizens based on the Bible? Would Christ? I don't think so.

I'm very confused Mike.
You seem like a great guy. I think I'd like you. I sure wanna.

Stop campaigning on the Asshole-for-Christ ticket, Mike.
First off, I don't think Jesus appreciates it.
Second, it doesn't fit who you are nor whom God intended you to be.

Unless the Issues tab is right and the video guy is an act....
I sure hope the video guy is Real and the Issues guy is misled.
Yeah, that's how it has to be. Isn't delusion nice ♥

I sure hope those scales are lifted from your eyes soon.
I'll be praying.
Let me know how it goes.
Then we really should do lunch. At Sunnyside Up, I'll buy ya some french toast.

Sunny regards,
diana jenner
A Very Important Person ~ I'm American & I Vote

I am Most Excellent, You are Most Excellent, WE are Most Excellent

And not just because I got this *E* though it does reinforce my obviously right-in-line thinking ♥
My version of 10 Excellent Blogs is quite similar to those lists of my friends.
Most of you know you're already on the list, so here's my list with as few repeats as possible:
37 Days
The Pioneer Woman
Kevin a-go-go
When Life Gives You Lemons
Warts and All
Lyrics Game
Open-Hearted Life
Ironwood Farm
Contrary Goddess
Barn Raising

My Sacred Life, Day 5

Kyra.

Kyra is connected to it all.

All that I find sacred in this world wraps right back around this Light.

All that is Golden and Joyful about childhood.

Right here.

Living proof that
an abundance of acceptance
creates an abundance of acceptance.

The greatest impact of her friend's death?
Acceptance.

A tighter cling to the belief that Life is for Living

&

If you're not busy living what the hell
you- know- what are ya doing?

To see those very things embodied, hang with this girl for 3.48 minutes!

To look her in the eye is to realize Namaste.

She shines, infinitely.

We bask in her glow,
as we are reminded
to shine ourSelves,
as openly
and brightly
as Kyra does.

Whole,
Complete,
Perfect

~Amen~

Exactly

My Sacred Life, Day 4

Family. The people I've chosen to draw nearest to me on this Journey as diana.
This here group spirals tightly together. Never a dull moment in this crowd.
No, not only because we're loud. We're pretty sharp witted, too ;)
We love each other and we like each other. Bonus.And we really LOVE, LOVE, ♥ ♥ ♥ Bowling For Soup! ♥ ♥ ♥Thanks Universe, for Emma and Eli.
For their part in restoring my faith in our bloodline.
And for them crazy, beer-drinking, singing-pretty, silly-boys from Denton, Texas.
Amen, indeed.

My Sacred Life, Day 3

12 years ago, in the transition from the Year of the Pig to the Year of the Rat, I carried my daughter in my womb. This time, I carry her memories in my heart; her story is carried on my soul. Around my neck I carry some remains of what once was a physical home to her soul. When I can bear it. Lately I've needed this talisman to remind me I didn't dream her entire existence, nor my experience as her mommy. I can't remember who I was before her. I can't imagine who I'd be I'll become without her.

My Sacred Life, Day 2

Tea.
Chai tea.
5 Valley Chai Tea
(I wish you could smell this!)
My entire being says
aaaaaaahhhhhh
As I connect soulfully to all that is wonderful in My Life and in The World.
The scent from the steam gently opens the boxes of memories, much like these seed pods, both so tightly bound to the magic of tea.
Thank you Aunt Donna, tea cannot be served in my presence without joyful & loving thoughts of you ♥

My Sacred Life, Day 1

On one of those meanderings through the world of blogs, I stumbled across a button at the bottom of the blog belonging to someone who commented on Hayden's blog (who happens to live in Japan and reads Kelli & Mary!) and when I clicked, it took me to Sacred Sunday. Because I'm in a place where I need more than a weekly kick-in-the-Spiritual-Pants, I followed along to Sacred Life where I realized the powerful potential of Living Connected for the next 30 Days.
In fact, in my ponderings of this post, Hayden has decided he'd like to embark on the project too. He'll be directing my photography at his blog ♥

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My hands and my spirit are great partners in my life, there are connections abound.
I thought I'd embark upon this journey with an Oregon specific connection ♥
My hand is touching green, in January. What a treat for this former Prairie Girl.
I am grateful for the quiet green life, reminding me Winter need not be stark.
*Life goes on. Always.*

I am Celebrating the Stillness of Me at 6 am

Celebrate!