I am participating.

Isa. My companion rune. I've pulled her often. Or she's pulled me. She represents a tree in winter. Seemingly asleep. The work is deep within, secret, silent, still. Not until Spring, the Great Show, like Nature's Recital, does the work show itself worthy and true. It is in the Winter, in the midst of the Great Slumber where there is Work to be done. It's no accident I'm at a crossroads, I've now opened my eyes to the opportunities before me. I remember I can choose from the roads I see and from those I cannot yet see. I can choose to be Awake. I can choose to Participate. And I do. I do choose Awake. I do choose Participation in my own Life. Frankly it's the only *smart* thing to do, it's a damn cool Life, ya know ♥
I dreamed of jumping rope. In my new bra, of course. Muhammad Ali with boobs and braids. So I bought one. A really super cool one. The kind that makes *doubles* really easy. I was once skilled. And I remembered that everything good and wonderful about the playground of my elementary school was linked to jumping rope. I'm so glad to live again in that wonder.
I also remember how much I just like to stretch. Not yet yoga, a gentle awakening of my body. Reminding myself of all the parts I'm so thankful for, the parts that need my love and attention, the parts that make me who I am. A total-cellular Love Affair. Yeah, even the cellulite :) And my friend the fungus. Hey, he lives here, I should like 'im ♥
And in the liking who I live with category, I've made a Relationship to Money discovery. I actually spoke the words I hate money aloud. Like it was the truth. Already I've been cringing internally at the thought money and in my distaste for discussing it aloud in any way. Why? Why would money want to hang around someone, causing such intense discomfort? Not money's intention on any level. I want to have an enjoyable relationship with money. I proclaim my love of money. My deep and profound respect for and honor of money. Abundant it is. My relationship with money creates love, trust and joy in my universe. Amen.
...then there's food. Yeah, sing it like Maude. It's been the flagship of my issues for a very long time. Probably from the moment I was given anything other than my mommy's milk. Yeah, it's deep and well rehearsed. Today, however, I realized the fear at the heart of Food for me. I fear I too will be hurt by food. That I will use the Abundance of Food to cause harm to mySelf. Ick. Again, not a constructive thought. That voice has been fired. I love mySelf. Abundant food shows my love for my family and for myself. Abundant food represents my Faith in the Benevolence of the Universe is well placed. The Universe's Trust in Me to use The Bounty for Life, is also well-placed. Amen.
I will unstick my chi. By Any Means Necessary. I will participate in My Life. I will shine a Light onto those relationships in my mind that are wallowing in darkness, unattended. I will move more. I will Listen. I will do The Work, as it speaks to me. I will joyfully have my heretofore apathetic ass kicked, joyfully and in earnest.
And just one hour after placing my request with the Universe, I found and bought one of these for us. SCB really, really needed it. I do too ♥ Yay us! Yay sun-like-light!
All is as it should be. And it is Grand!
Happy Happy New Year!

Amy's New Year Poem

Thanks chickie, for the perfect inspiration, once again!
********************************************************************************
This Year

Highways, finger and caress

Hearts, linger and undress

Naked, isolated and courageous

Hopes, inflated and contagious

Looking back I spiral down

Through lessons old

Yet newly found

Patterns gathered matter

Only if I choose to change

Swaying in the blaring sun

I long for familiar rain.

Today's Tea Leaves

This week's Unconscious Mutterings:

1. Memorable ::Life
2. Resolution :: Solve
   
3. Goal :: Peace
   
4. 2008 :: Awake
   
5. Sensational :: Ability
   
6. Popular demand :: Me
   
7. Old :: Tools
   
8. Music :: Dance
   
9. Intense :: Baggage
   
10. 2007 :: Numb
    

Today's Daily Om Gemini Horoscope Stimulating Life:
You may feel courageous enough to break out of your usual routine today. You might be seeking new adventures, mental stimulation, or physical activity that will get your adrenaline pumping. These feelings can indicate a deeper feeling of boredom or dissatisfaction. Perhaps your career feels stagnant, or your relationships seem to have hit a snag. A good way to discover where improvements are needed is to consider the various areas of your life. If any of them leave you feeling restless or bored, you might decide to infuse these areas with new energy today. You could change your schedule, approach your work in new ways, or find ways to rejuvenate your relationships.
Making a simple change can turn your life into a new experience to be explored.

We can bring more excitement to our lives by making a conscious effort to seek new adventures and create opportunities for growth. Because of our busy schedules, we might not notice when certain aspects of our life become stagnant. Finding adventure and challenging ourselves to grow ensures that we never become bored. As we transform, so will our lives. Life is always a new experience because we are always creating it. Our minds and spirits are stimulated, and we feel more fulfilled and excited by life. You can remove stagnation from your life today by seeking exciting opportunities to grow, learn, and discover new worlds.

*****
Those words have been ringing through my head. They've swirled out of the mouths of those around me. I've chosen not to highlight the words which represent the reality of my many past nows. The bags to unpack. The baggage to leave behind. I've got courage to face what is and faith in what's possible.
I've been numb for at least a year. At least. Depression? eh. Hiding? Yeah. Like that. So. I just zipped off a letter to Mary's Acupuncture Goddess. Unblocked chi is never a bad thing. And yet that will not be the beginning. The beginning is already here. I already walk with new intentions. I am ready. Yes. I have the Courage to be Ready. Now.

For all that has come to pass,
I say thank you.
For all that shall come to pass,
I say YES!

Gonna find me a chi station!

Friday Fill-in

Movie Quote edition. The real quotes are readily available, here are my additions to the fun!

1. "I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, into the mind, until all are convinced I *should* be Czar of America."

2. "Why is the King always gone?"

3. "Harold, *everyone* has the right to make an imaginary twin to face all the shitty stuff they don't wanna."

4. "Nine companions, so be it. You shall be A Non-Con."

5. "Nonsense, I have not yet begun to grieve."

6. "Mama says they was magic shoes. They could take me anywhere, and comfortably- they's birks!"

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a peace filled evening with my boy, tomorrow my plans include supporting Tena thru her dd's mystery illness, pondering a quick jaunt to Vegas and making paper cranes from wrapping paper before Scotty throws it away :D and Sunday, I want to check out the local UU fellowship & see a movie with the boys!

Mrs. G's Next Secret Boyfriend

Dear Friend,
I must introduce you, if you've not already signed him up, to my delicious fantasy, Neil Gaiman. I just wanna hang out with his mind someday. We'll have coffee and stare at one another (because, honestly, he's not hard to stare at) while our chittering, spider-monkeys-on-acid minds run off together to some carousel-accessed other-world and plot an exciting, amazing, impossible and godly adventure. They'll return to us exhausted and permanently entangled. We'll be adequately caffeinated to follow along wherever they take us! ♥
A very long time ago, Christine sent me American Gods. A lightning bolt. A shockwave. A primordal zap of connection. A quickening. Wrapped up in imaginative, vibrant, literary entertainment. This amazing human had been revealed. I was not alone. Neil knows, too. Yesterday, Scotty got Anansi Boys for Xmas... ooooh! He'll be able to read it tomorrow, I'll finish it tonight... then when he's done, I'll read it again. The man can spin a web of tales like the Spider Gods he writes of. And when your eyes hurt from sucking up the story too quick for your brain to process, you take a little break and check out Neil on the back cover. In fact, that's the exact picture from Anansi Boys. Enough blogging, back to reading and drooling (away from the electronics!).
Happy Fantasizing!
Love,
me
(p.s. this fantasy is SCB approved, he happens to love Neil's Sandman series. No kinscern necessary.)

On Winter's First Full Moon

Courtesy of Mother Crone...

As the sunlight returns to our days and with it the reminder of the promise of possibilities. I ask that you join me in holding the World in a vision of complete Peace and see waves of Understanding and compassion washing over all.

May you feel the Light of Love always
and in all ways.
May you remember every breath is a prayer
May you sense the infinite Possibilities
and the wonder of Life,
And always remember, that one person makes all the difference
and that person is YOU!

Namaste

For the record, I AM Committed. At least I should be. Sparkles?

Diana's Random Movie Quote: 'Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.' - Kitty Farmer, Donnie Darko Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

'tis a Wonderful Life

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard.
Try JibJab Sendables!

Might there be an awakening, afterall?

Consulting Your Inner Wisdom ~ December 21, 2007 ~Gemini Daily Horoscope

You may feel the need for solitude today, so you can think more deeply about the quality of your life. Perhaps you’ve been feeling dissatisfied or unsure whether you are still following the right path for you. Rather than looking for answers outside of yourself, you can turn within and gain the guidance you seek today. Set aside quiet time for yourself and consider any issue you’ve been worrying about or struggling with. Hold this issue in your mind and examine it from all angles without judgment. This gives your higher self a chance to speak, and you just might have a moment of illumination that answers the questions in your heart. If you feel any nudges toward a certain direction today, you might follow where they lead, as this could also be your inner guidance providing an answer.

By consulting our inner wisdom, we can receive guidance on issues and make decisions that are in our best interest. Most of us are so used to taking direction from others that we forget to turn within to answer our own questions. While outside counsel can be helpful, we can gain greater insight about our lives by consulting ourselves. Our higher self already knows what is best for us, and by following that guidance we can make wiser decisions and smoother life transitions. By consulting your inner wisdom on any uncertainties you are struggling with today, you can receive powerful guidance that will help you create the life you desire.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

and I wonder where my son gets his stuckedness...

Dear Eros,
I'd've thought you dead, with your absolute absence from my Life; though I wonder if, perhaps, this may be a trick. Not very funny one, just so ya know. Super Cool only extends so far, Super Frustrated is quick to move on in and take over. Was gratitude incomplete for my white-hot mid 30s? Be assured, I remain in awe at the frequency and ease of my sensual bliss.
I've come to a place of acceptance. If this is what I got, it's really okay. It'd be easier, I think, if I actually had issues, intimacy issues. Do I? Issues can be dealt with, the absence of issues and a personal acceptance of this current stage of my sexual development has become a major issue.
I know what to do, I know exactly what to do. It's taking that first scary step to getting back on the bicycle, the riding will be as fun as it ever was. I got good coaching, direct to who diana is, in a language that makes sense in my context. And it didn't work; improper match to a larger context. I was as dejected as the pimply boy on prom night. Wowzer, what a lesson. Thanks for the gift of insight on that one. Mayhap a nicety is better without explanation; or at least save the explanation for after the gift of selflessness. No body cares why you just did that, there seems a large emotional investment, however, in why you're going to do that. Check.
Methinks a new commitment to a combination of detox, acupuncture, and movement may create a space for your attentions. Within and without. This too shall pass. I will breathe and learn.
Our Gifts are Abundant
All is As it Should be.

Love, me