Thursday 13

13 Moments of NonCon 2007 ~ The Golden Vortex

13. Marty can play a themesong! Skills.


12. "Qabbi" plays dress-up at the Hippie Store
I just gotta say, when I was their age, there's NO WAY I would have put this on and walked around, especially NOT around any of the grownups in my life. Sanctuary is such a gift.

11. Qacei makes sperm.
Yes, Marty, it is too veeeery special that you make sperm all the time; however, Q's got ya beat on pure novelty alone. If it makes you feel any better, Scotty thinks her sperm isn't too bright, it's actually swimming away from Abbi's (off screen) flower!

10. The Canadians' arrival. Gillian called late on Friday announcing their landing in Corvallis and seeking directions to my home ♥ We were suddenly full of our 2nd (or 5th?) wind and Kyra, Hayden, Marty and I jogged down to the corner and awaited their arrival. One (or Four) cannot just stand on a shadowed, very busy, street corner in the middle of the night. So they did jumping jacks and waved and shouted hello. They even chased an Oregonian Minivan by mistake; it was joyful and exuberant :D I hope the driver wasn't scared! I sought songs about Canada; I don't yet know the words to the National Anthem, nor C-A-N-A-D-A, so we sang other Raffi songs. We'd recently gotten Shake Your Sillies Out stuck in our heads ~ a great cardio song :D I've changed up my Favorite Canadian List: The Mayer Clan are all tied for my #1 favorite Canadian, Raffi can stand 2nd place :D That's me and Tiki and her cytoblast at Central Park, downtown Corvallis.

9. A whole collection of moments that look like and feel like this picture. A tribe is surely a gift. The Golden Vortex at work. Fergus is so happily engaged with the kids (Marty) that both Craig and Gillian get to hang out in the kitchen!! In the breakfast nook, Mary is visiting with the sweet guy we brought home from the Amy concert at Sunnyside Up. We thought he might be a roadie or a groupie, as he had train engineer striped pants on, just like Amy; nope. He was happy to follow us and have some great food, drink and company. Just behind Ronnie (R), Amy Steinberg herself rests in the big comfy chair, with a blankie and full service laundry for her delicates.

8. Scotty walked into a party-already-in-full-swing, I laid one on him to the cheers of the whole crowd. He turned tomato red and left the room, only to return later to still more cheers. He happily discovered the love throughout the overwhelm of exuberance. ♥

7. Hayden Shines. Nothing says home like comfortable company. It's official! I've had a sweet, sweet many days with my shiny, happy boy. What may look like chaos brings such calm and peace to us in it's wake.
6. The Golden Vortex ~ for real! Represented right here: BC Canada, Northern Minnesota and Eastern South Dakota. All together through the magic of Mary Gold and the big scary internet...
There's magic here and she knows it! She's using her powers for good. We're glad ♥

5. Sunnyside Up. What an amazing place. What a gift to the universe, the folks of Corvallis and especially friends ;)
4. Beards! We will never again leave the house without our handy-dandy disguises :)3. Young Love, the stages
There's now Patrick and Neebin, Patreebin. It's sweet and new. Patrick really likes Corvallis and is willing to ride the bus to get here. He's in love. ♥There used to be Marty and Madeline (well, there still are, technically, though without the *and*)On Wednesday, Marty said "I used to like Oak Harbor. Not anymore." I was almost sad, then I realized it's not a perfect fit and the perfect fit is just waiting.

2. Guitar Hero
I don't think Craig actually got his showdown with Kelli, he sure had fun anyway! Scotty and his guitar playin' faceAbbigal's got smokin skillsThough I don't yet have photograpic proof, I suspect the set up of GH3 has briefly derailed Mary's title of The Most Boring House, ever. Congrats Mary!?

1. Our Indian Restaurant offers both Dumplings and Dumpings. You're jealous, I just know it. Plus I got to go there for a bit of a Girls' Night Out with Abbi, Kyra, Kelli, Mary and Qacei and Joni and Steffie stopped by, too :)
I said our Indian Restaurant. 'cause I live here now, how cool is that?? All the way cool.

The Amy Moment

My first Amy Steinberg show... Exactly, Exactly, Exactly how it should be.
Thanks Craig! Thanks Amy! Thanks Mary! Thanks Ren ~ You were there!! Thanks Universe!
(nice hair Abbi & Diana!! ♥)

Wowee Thursday

I was meant to read this today. Ode to the Gods. I sit and breathe and chillax. Release and accept. Dangit Jon! Ya had to say it, "All is as it should be." and indeed, it always is.

October 31, 2007 ~Letting Go Of Understanding ~Deeper Meanings

All of us who seek to be conscious and aware regard our experiences as teachers, and we try to discern what lessons we are learning from the things that happen in our lives. Sometimes the lesson is very clear from the get-go, and other times we have to really search to understand the deeper meaning behind some event. While this search often yields results, there also comes a point in the search where what we really need to do is move forward. It is possible that we are not meant to know the deeper meaning of certain occurrences. Answers may come later in our lives, or they may come as a result of letting go, or they may never come.

We are all part of a complex system of being, and things work themselves out in the system as a whole. Sometimes we are just playing a necessary part in that process with a result larger than we can understand. It may have very little to do with us personally, and while that can be hard to understand, it can also free us from overthinking the matter. Sometimes it is best to see it in terms of karma, a past debt we have been able to repay in this way, or as the clearing of energy. We can simply thank the event for being part of our experience and let it go. This completes the process that the occurrence has made possible.

To make this letting go official, we can perform a ritual, make a final journal entry on the subject, or sit in meditation with the intention of releasing the event from our consciousness. As we do so, we summon it one last time, honoring it with our attention, thanking it, and saying good-bye. We then let it go out the door, out the window, out the top of our heads, or into the earth through the bottoms of our feet, liberating ourselves from any burden we have carried in association with it.

What do you think?

Meet the Neighbors

When I got outside for my first Halloween smoke, I got an up close and personal introduction to our neighbors across the street: Larry, Mo, and Curly. Collectively. Not in any order.
As I just met them this morning, I'm sure to get to know them better during our stay on Wakerobin Avenue. That's Hwy 99 in the background. So yeah, all you Californians, my house is *that* easy to get to!

Curly seems as curious about me as I do about him.
Then I realize he's got a look about him. He's watching me.

He might be embarrassed that I'd just witnessed this:
Or proud perhaps.
I think he digs his role as "USDA Inspector" in Bovine Porn.
Larry is clearly the Ron Jeremy of the field.
And, as there is balance in the Universe, Mo's the one takin' it.
He's okay. He's a Taoist. All is as it should be.

I think it's really sweet that Larry has his own version of post-coital cuddling, he's giving Mo a tongue bath.
While Curly stares me down, still.

I hope he's not imploring me to keep a secret!

See? Patience...

Gemini: Hidden feelings can have a profound impact on your day, even if you aren't aware of them yourself. Your subconscious mind is playing its own game now and it may take more time for you to understand what's going on. Allowing time for meditation, prayer or contemplation can help to quiet the noise so you can better understand what's motivating you.

Thirteen Things about Living with Diana

Thirteen Things about Living with diana (an incomplete prose)

1. All Humans: Lift the appropriate number of lids to use the toilet. Use your aiming skills & wipe up when they fail. Close the lid when you're done. Every Time. Easy. Not sexist.
2. Close the shower curtain when you're done. Dry the floor. Put your towel up to dry. [Caveat to 1 & 2: Remnants of disgusting childhood (bathroom) memories. There are related laundry equipment issues. These seem benign carry-overs, so I keep them and focus on ridding myself of the less benign baggage.]
3. I like slow quiet gentle mornings. I have to sit and think, alone. Have a couple of smokes and coffee, or maybe a coke. Then I have to poop. If I'm interrupted before I poop, I don't poop and I'm crabby until I can get back to calm enough to poop mode.
4. I have never ever lived somewhere where I unpacked all my belongings. It seems the last too many years of my life have been filled with boxes from all the last places. I don't have to wonder what that means, I have to wonder when I'll change it.
5. Sometimes I just feel a wreck. Like lately. A long lately? I'm in overwhelm and shut-down mode. I can let out the pieces of me which remain confident. The less-than-confident pieces are undergoing super crazy internal inventory and purging. I'm quiet and hiding to the outside world and on the inside, I'm filled with crazy rumblings of what's to come. While I'm quite used to the ebb and flow that is diana, I know others are not. I don't know how to explain it or share it, I only know how to go through it. So I am. Going through it. Learning.
6. The key to my comfort: Abundance. To know there is plenty is important to my sleep. Yeah, my wake, too. Support this thinking.
7. If your socks (or any other clothing piece, for that matter) are malodorous, leave them in the laundry room. That's what it's for.
8. When I'm overwhelmed on the inside, every need on the outside feels like the constant scraping of a burr in the seat of my pants. Physical touch is sometimes like sandpaper.
9. Everything that comes in a plastic wrapper needs to be strategically sealed after opening to maintain freshness. Really. I won't eat anything that's been left around open for more than 24 hours. [see caveat for 1 & 2] You'd think I'd have more chip clips; I'll have to get some. Ziplocks are my friends. Even the Twizzlers package now has a zip closure ~ Yay! Now for Newman Ohs and Kettle chips...
10. There are separate cleaning utensils for dishes & general kitchen stuff. I'll throw up if you wash the dishes with the same sponge you wiped the floor with. eeeew.
11. As a general rule: Never put bras in the dryer. Better to err on the side of air dry.
12. Don't take any of this personally.
13. I'm making this all up. I make up more all the time. I will make another list at another time.

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Dear Madeline,

Yesterday I picked up Grace (Eventually) at the Corvallis Library ~ it's a very official feeling to get one's library card in a new town ~ and you're right, Anne speaks to my very soul. Page 6: I finally figured out that I had a choice: I could suffer a great deal, or not, or for a long time. Or I could have the combo platter: suffer, breathe, pray, play, cry, and try to help people. There was meaning in pain; it taught you how to survive with a modicum of grace when you did not get what you wanted. I could not describe mourning any better mySelf! This is an ongoing realization with me, seemingly on a daily basis. Maybe even bigger than mourning, this is Life... a constant buffet of choices. Nice perspective for me.
Then, right away on Page 7, she introduces Ram Dass (as in author of the other cool book Paths to God: Living the Bhagavad Gita) She says There was nothing particularly new about consciousness and God and love in the book, but it was the first time I'd heard this information given in such a hilarious, wise, human, neurotic voice. Ram Das was a vulnerable mess -- just like me. ~and~ People say about experiences like this that "the veil lifted," but for me for the whole day, it was as if an itchy burlap sack had come off my head.
Two things here, first I love this visual & totally recognize that feeling and second, I have to admit I've felt a bit intimidated by Ram Dass' book. Maybe it's the perceived confrontation I am avoiding with my Self. Like when it's time to face the part of me that finds great comfort in the wallow, the part that likes to escape and hide and sees absolutely nothing wrong with withdrawing from the world and all it's Love. Yeah, that part, my own itchy burlap sack. That's the part I'm wrestling with in my Now. Or not. If I really minded being this way, I suppose I'd stop. Which brings in the other part of me: the part that does mind and knows a cop-out when she sees one and ain't afeared to point it out. Brewing big time, I am.
I'm shifting. Moving on down the lakeshore to find my spot. My holistic vantage point, from where my view of Life and my place therein is unobstructed by trees planted by my own hand.
I've only made it to page 10 before I had to write this post. All is as it should be. Thanks friends ♥ Thanks Universe!
Love,
me

I've been nuts before...

and I don't think it compares to now. A whole new horde of nuts (sack o' nuts?) for my whole new Life Perspective.

In my commitment to sending my spawn to therapy for entirely new reasons (instead of recycling mine), I've decided to add some new reasons to my own list (instead of recycling my old ones). As happens in my *right now* Ms. Mary Sunshine world view, I rarely see the actual details required to have the world the way I want it to be. Yes, I'm on this side of the river and I need to be over there. Let's Go! Now! I can see where I need to be, I can even visualize myself there. No poof? Whattaya mean there's a process!? Diving headlong almost seems it's own coping mechanism. Plotting and planning and preparation are not my forte, dealing in the moment works. Works better if there are actual tools of the plotting, planning and preparation type available. I just know it. So in the throes of P3Absence, I'm seeking the tools I need to adjust, manipulate perhaps, my environment (the choir) to support where it is I am, like really am and seek the tools that will build my bridge to the place I actually want to go. Hiding in the cave does not get the bridge built. I'm just realizing that. The cave's comfy though, just so ya know.

The Forum

I did the Forum. Years ago, with Big Joe, in Los Angeles. Back when we could still speak of Werner Erhard and his brainchild, est. Powerful stuff. It kicked my ass then and it's still rattling around my toolbox, waiting to kick my ass some more. Reading the course syllabus awakened a cacophony of voices, asleep for too long, ready to coach once again. I realize that much of my day-to-day thought processes involve some principle of the Forum. I have practiced, I now long for more practice, more coaching. This is who I am. Thanks Joe. Thanks Me.
I want to do the Forum again. I want my Now reinforced with possibility. I want my Now unlimited by the past. And yes, unschooling reinforces these exact steps of self definition, I think these steps of self definition shall enhance our unschooling, our relationships, Life ~ itself, in ways heretofore barely imagined. There's a Forum in Portland: January 4, 5, 6, 8 that I'm throwing my intentions behind. The tuition and expenses will come to me easily and meaningfully. I am ready to talk to Hayden about doing the Forum for Young People in Seattle, April 4, 5, 6. It's one of those transformations one always wishes had come sooner in life. I want Hayden to have his opportunity for transformation NOW, live powerfully NOW and not have to recover from any bigger leftovers than he's already got. To be free of the 9 year old's baggage at 9! What a great concept!! So totally foreign to all too many of us.
$1000 over the next 6 months for 7 days of awakening to possibility and transformations and breakthroughs ~ And a Lifetime of reaping possibility, transformations and breakthroughs. Let's see what can be done!

Right Here, Right Now

It's true, ya know, No Matter Where You Go, There You Are. I am here. I'm still me. New surroundings, new opportunities, same tools. In my lovely Gemini fashion, I am both terrified and exhilarated. I have a rocking chair now, which I love. My feet are up on Mitch's table. I'm bloated and bleeding. That's my mind. I'll soon enough have more furniture. I'll soon enough have a job to buy some. Tomorrow I begin my first shift at Sunny-Side Up. Yay! I'll be a barista who is totally in love with the products she slings. Scotty's new schedule begins today; he'll leave at 6pm and return at 4 am, Monday thru Friday. The Lazer Tribe shall be here soon and Scotty's very excited! They'd originally planned to move to Portland this month and switched their intent to Corvallis after learning of our plans :) The talks of Band are active and vibrant! The office or the hub is well situated. Hayden's got a new desk, Scotty's got the kitchen table and there is a big baker's rack for the board, the tv, speakers, the modem, the PS2, oh and the telephone's squeezed in there somewhere! Keyboards and guitars round out the decor ;) Hayden's bedroom, on the other hand, has become the keeper of the art supplies. We moved shelves into the closet and laid out some of the stuff for easy access. Still boxes to unpack. And there's a single bed frame awaiting assembly for H's room. We'll get a bed soon enough. Last night I was glad to have an air mattress without a leak. Glory Be. The small stuff. Gifts. Everywhere.