Battle Hymn of the Republic Karma

Had to be, I just knew it!!

Mother's Day was initiated by a homeschooled Unitarian - who credits most of her learnin' to have happened after she gave up school ~ imagine that! I'm beginning to love this HolyDay more than ever before.

"Julia was tutored at home and at private schools in literature, languages, science and mathematics. She knew French from early childhood, began Italian at 14, later added German, and read Latin and Greek with ease. She had music lessons and voice training with the finest teachers available. The family home on Bond Street included an extensive library and art gallery. At 16 she left school and, in her words, "began thereafter to study in good earnest," continuing throughout her life to read literature, history and philosophy. By the time she was 20, she had written literary criticism published anonymously in the Literary and Theological Review and the New York Review."
"Mourning the death of her father in 1839, and soon afterwards that of a brother and a sister-in-law, she turned to the religion of her upbringing, though her reading had exposed her to more liberal ideas. Later she wrote, "I studied my way out of all the mental agonies which Calvinism can engender and became a Unitarian." Mary Ward of Boston sent her a sermon by William Ellery Channing, which she found helpful. While visiting Mary in 1841, Julia heard Channing preach and attended a Ralph Waldo Emerson lecture and a Margaret Fuller conversation."

I ♥ Julia Ward Howe

What today means...

Gemini: You may have more impact on others today than you realize, especially if you feel under attack in any way. If you are involved in a conflict, it probably won't be personal, but rather a professional or work-related issue that requires you to take a stand. Defend your position, but make sure that you aren't standing on shifting sands.
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This is hilarious!! Under attack? Hmmmm, maybe having everything I pack being inspected by George as I sleep could be viewed as attack?
I have my kitchen things in the corner of the kitchen ~ where they've been since I moved in, with the exception of things I've incorporated into life here over the past two years ~ I've been adding to the pile, while going through what's already there and cleaning it for transport and use. I'm so surprised it's happening, yet that's not even true, it's just like him to be this way ~ better make sure I don't sneak out a single bowl I didn't bring in, especially if I'm the only one who's gonna use it! That's what I noticed, I had stacked some ceramic bowls of mine into a box and there was one less when I moved the stack later. I screwed up, that one was similar to mine and indeed his. Which only fuels his fire to dig through everything I box up, suspicious of what I may squirrel away without his notice. Can we spell paranoid?
Okay, I know I should just open up... make it okay (That's what Scott Noelle's voice is saying to me), breathe deep (thanks Sandra), don't take it personally (Don Miguel Ruiz) and just do what needs to be done (that's me!). Packing and staging in the basement will give me more control over my things AND packing and staging my kitchen things in the basement will limit my access to those things until the move. There is no right answer, just the one that will make Life Joyful and Abundant for the last few nights under this roof... This is Whole, Complete and Perfect, just as it is. (Big Joe!)
My Stand: This too shall pass. Soon enough we will no longer have one another to complain about. I can continue juggling for a few weeks more, I can continue juggling for a few weeks more, I CAN continue juggling for a few weeks more...

Mother's Day for Peace

In the United States, Mother's Day was originally suggested by poet and social activist Julia Ward Howe. In 1870, after witnessing the carnage of the American Civil War and the start of the Franco-Prussian War, she wrote the original Mother's Day Proclamation calling upon the women of the world to unite for peace. This "Mother's Day Proclamation" would plant the seed for what would eventually become a national holiday.

After writing the proclamation, Howe had it translated into many languages and spent the next two years of her life distributing it and speaking to women leaders all over the world. In her book Reminiscences, Howe wrote, "Why do not the mothers of mankind interfere in these matters to prevent the waste of that human life of which they alone bear and know the cost?" She devoted much of the next two years to this cause, and began holding annual "Mother's Day" gatherings in Boston, Massachusetts and elsewhere.

In 1907, thirty-seven years after the proclamation was written, women's rights activist Anna Jarvis began campaigning for the establishment of a nationally observed Mother's Day holiday. And in 1914, four years after Howe's death, President Woodrow Wilson declared Mother's Day as a national holiday.

What does it mean to you?

Living Arrangement Quandry

Tomorrow I sign the lease. Tomorrow I will begin all the crazy steps in making this home a reality. I picked a place that works for me and The Boy... with Scotty in mind, of course. I'm looking forward to having a sunny bedroom, though, after having tiny, shaded, basement windows for two years... he may have to sleep in Hayden's much-darker bedroom during his day-shift nap :) Part of me is rushing ahead and just doing what needs to be done for Team Jenner (as it exists today)... part of me is holding back, wondering if we should just take the leap and move in with Scotty... a whole 'nother part is glad to take something slowly ;) Hayden's upset that it's a basement again, even after explanations of the amount of space (1000 sq ft) and the plans for set-up (tv/computer living room & art/games family room/utility room)... He doesn't want to live in an apartment at all, especially not one underground! Eventually, he came around to any means necessary to ensure I still get an allowance! A momentary waystation to our next stop... we're not getting a new, bigger bed together until we move (West!?) ~ that decision was easy. When to live together? not so easy.

Why I must move...

It was easy to choose to live here! Two amazing kids, two mostly-absent parents, one gargantuan house filled with toys -- what's not to love? We (the four of us, counting Patches) jumped at the chance to move in and bring some of our majik into their lives. I was the joyful playmate and the Team Coach for a couple of extra human beings. They gave me loads of inspiration and were happy cat-sitters during our frequent road trips. Scotty loves them like my own. They have become his practice kids, as well. My space has enveloped them and welcomes them into a place of True Unconditional Love.

I have found myself of late, buffering just too many uglies doled out by their father. I get chronic pain, I get narcotic dependence, I get living without a light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel... I refuse to get how that justifies being a jerk at every opportunity to the smallest and most fragile of our citizens!

I had just comforted Hayden after he was unceremoniously ordered "home" (possibly for making too much joyful noise at the children's return from school) when I found a very sad and worried Elizabeth needing comfort... I can already see the day when Alex flees the ickiness only to be laughed at in my absence, no longer having a Safe Haven in his own home.
I look forward to killing my own whipped cream (no longer suspicious that someone sucked all the propellant out of it and buried it in the trash!) and having my own raw sugar and my own last coca-cola. The thought of 9 days makes things really easy for me and The Boy... makes things really tough for another set of kids.

Make it Mine!

Home, aaahhh, it felt great! I'm throwin' down the cash, daggummit! Along with the application fee of $20, I'm attaching a check for 1/2 month's rent and the $300 deposit. The place is adorable. The folks upstairs travel all the time; they own a Winnebago & a construction company (can you hear him begging for scrap wood? I can see the projects already!); the pond is comforting; the hot tub huge; the patio ready; the flowers blooming; the fire pit calling! You gotta check out the pictures, in the "from the kitchen" shot, on the left wall there really is an electric fireplace thingamabobber from the 70's!! It's even burnt orangish! There's a perfect slab of cement for boarding and scooters, a park not far by bike (is anything really far by bike?), Hy-Vee down the street (Hey Mel, can I borrow the Burley for groceries?)... and we can live with it. We can live with $600 rent plus cell phone and allowance (games, etc) and still eat. Seriously time to give up cigarettes. Good thing I bought a $20 cappuccino machine as a housewarming gift for myself & I've got coffee connections~ I can trade one stimulant for another! I think I can find a way to keep myself in organic 1/2 & 1/2 :)
And I can jump into what kind of work do I want to do? I'm thinking funeral homes need me... there's a big one down the block, I may have to drop in and just sell myself. I really want to do the holiday memorial service this December. Baking? Worth checking out. Breadsmith needs me :) Karen recommended volunteering at the co-op to get the discount on food, 'specially now that I'm cooking! (Lasagna AND Potato Salad yesterday!)
What awaits me? I'm a-tingle with anticipation! Arms thrown wide open in welcome to the newest chapter...
Gemini: Nothing is quite as impossible as it seems, for you may feel a bit more pessimistic than usual. The emotions that are holding you back, however, can also contain the seeds for your forward movement. Don't accept defeat under any circumstances, even if your confidence is weak. Remember, today's actions set the stage for next week's transformations.
~~I attached a note to my rental application: (to soothe my pessimist ::g::)
My credit score and paper history do not give an accurate picture of the family applying for this apartment.
6 years ago, my young husband died of a brain tumor. I was widowed with two children, then ages 2 & 4 years old. I left the work force to focus on my family and our healing. I have been able to continue our commitment to homeschooling and creating a joyful family life for all of us. In February 2006, my daughter, Hannah, then 9.5, died of leukemia.
The past 400some days have been new and strange for me and my son, Hayden, now 8.5. We are seeking a new beginning for our new family situation. I feel this space can provide just that for us.
Thank you for your consideration!

Aaahhh a Gemini I am!

Gemini-Stick to the tried-and-true. No, wait -- now it's time for something completely different! Hey, there's no need to rush into a decision. Enjoy ping-ponging between these two stances and a solution will reveal itself. astrology.com

sums it up!

There I am! Bright and shiny and just as bursting with joy as I seem!! I think, I'm fatter, hairier, and happier than ever before in my life! and I wonder if that's appropriate self-talk... Goes to show, at least me, that physical condition is just that, another condition we must meet in our minds before we allow the heart free happiness. Unconditionality is huge in the forefront of my mind. Thanks to Scott Noelle, for giving me the vocabulary to describe the joyful perspective my life holds~ I remain ME in all situations. Conditions do not dictate who I am; who I am dictates how I behave, in all conditions. It is truly at the heart of to thine own self be true. I am happy. I am a glass half full kinda girl. I've allowed my conditions to excuse behavior that may not line up with the Big Picture diana-possible. What I can do now, is to shift that focus to the Life-Possible and what it really looks like. I shall see that my life, my home, my team and my city reflect the part of me I invest there. Investment of my true, whole self will only reap glorious benefits.
Practical terms? Purge, baby, purge. Cast off that which no longer serves my life. Gratitude and Growth. Treasure that which is serving purpose to my now and near future. Our new home awaits. I shall fill it with the things that bring love and light into our lives. I shall say goodbye (for a price!) to those who shall do that for others. Every day shall be this heart-full!

Seven Degrees of Robert G

My cousin Robert. He's one of the coolest guys I know. He's a workin' stiff, doin' what he loves and what he knows. When he knows better, he does better. He's evolving like that.
When Mitch arrived in Sioux Falls, his first bestest friend was a guy named Al. One day, we took Al to Gramma's house for dinner. Al remarks, "this is the way to Robert's Gramma's house." I don't even connect my cousin to this sentence, until we pull up to the exact same house... Robert had moved to ID, leaving his best friend, Al, best-friend-less, just as Mitch arrived from CA, accepting the open position of new best friend. After Mitch left, I reconnected with a cousin I'd not ever been close to before. Thanks Al! Thanks Mitchard! Thanks Fates!

I miss my SuperCoolNewBoyfriend

I'm missing Scooty like crazy. I'm jealous he's bonding with my kitty and hanging out with my other kids, and yet, that's not entirely true... I'm so Grateful he's there among my things and my peeps, it makes him seem so much closer to us and easier to conjure. He's sent pictures of all sorts, including chic-o-sticks, blooms and precious moments with my loved ones. I've reciprocated with glimpses of our fun and our views. Ya gotta just love cellular technology!

And Yeah, I got a haiku :)
Far, yet internal
I miss my new family
...swim in the missing.
And the bestest message ever:
Good night, my love. I remain, your impossibly co-dependent, stranded-in-your affection, dive-bombed by new-and-improved awareness, totally lost in Love boyfriend. Long live us!
C&C met Scotty... the text messages to me went like this:
Chas: Your man rocks. you rock. love you
Colette: Can i have your man after you?
Scotty: Chas advised me to forego fear in our relationship :) ...In her words, 'it's all good !'
He wins.
I'll be home Sunday ;)