I Am Project

"Creating social awareness and changing society's distorted vision of women. Focusing on natural real women - true beauty."

I Am Project

Creating a book of real, unaltered women; to show true beauty in captivating photographs.

You know I'm already signed up!

Koren has already e-mailed me back, explaining their funds are not yet ready for her to travel to me, but I'm sure (hee hee, I feel like I've got some kind of inside track to the Creator) it will work out, so that this project will be a success and I will get to be a part of it.
I think I want to do my Tree pose, my favorite from when I modeled for David's artists group... (tangent!)
While thinking of a pose for me, one gentleman began to suggest, then withdrew, saying, "Ah, you wouldn't do it anyway" Well, pique my interest! "I can't deny you if I don't know what you're asking." I respond. "Well," he says, "I'd really like to draw you like this:" and he stands with his feet firmly planted and his arms outstretched over his head. I wholeheartedly agree to do the pose, with the understanding I'll have to drop my arms from time to time, but I could give a 1-2 minute warning before a 2-3 minute break. OMG! It is the most beautiful drawing I have of myself!! My tummy is all whirly swirly and you can see the goddess just bursting out of my being. The Tree of Life, I am!
The funniest part of the story actually took place months later, while having dinner at David's with the drawing group, my Aunt Donna comes over and wouldn't ya know it, her pastor is there having dinner, too! Reverend Harlan! she proclaims, much to my surprise, it's my artist buddy, the author of my favorite drawing -- and worse, she realizes her minister has seen her niece naked!! She was only embarrassed for a year or so, she's over it now ;)

The Mastery of Love

Gemini: Your spirits lift now that the Moon is in fiery Leo. You are still in a rather serious phase, but you can see the benefits of the inner work you are doing. You needed to dig into your own spirituality to find a new direction. The process is ongoing, but your returning optimism is certainly reassuring.
Today's Quote: The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand. - Frank Herbert
~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~
And on that note, Karen happened to be online just a moment ago with enough time to chat a bit! A very rare and much appreciated treat! Through the conversation, she mentions the 4 Agreements, and specifically the principle: Be impeccable with your Word. I mention how Hayden is familiar with that book and it's principles, how much I use them as Mantras: Be Impeccable with Your Word; Never Assume; Don't Take it Personally; and Always Do Your Best. As we chatted about how we use Always Do Your Best in place of the (nonsense) word: "Try" & how I make sure to give myself credit for giving all 35% when that is all I have available. Right then I remembered, I own The Mastery of Love and have not yet read it, I quickly found it and discovered, much to my great joy and gratitude, the book is about LOVE from Self Love to Being Love in our relationships. What jumps out at me: ...how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that are our birthright, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital to loving relationships.
*Why "domestication" and the "image of perfection" lead to Self-rejection
*The war of control that slowly destroys most relationships
*Why we hunt for love in others, how to capture the love inside us
*How to finally accept and forgive ourselves and others
...when every action we take is an expression of Love ... Love in action can only produce happiness.
Whew! Off to read s'more! Thanks Karen for speaking for the Spirit!

On God's Menu

The Stars Today:
It's a good time to express your desires and wishes in direct, precise language. After all, most people aren't mind readers, and it's unfair to expect them to know what you've been needing all this time. Communicate!
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What a great day to begin my order for 2007!
My energy beats back inertia; I love myself enough to remain active
My body reflects my self love; my health is abundant
My home reflects my welcoming, embracing, loving, generous Soul
My home is my own refuge and respite for all who call upon us
My home is surrounded by beauty, both of nature and of Spirit
My cup runneth over...
My patience is boundless
My love is freely given
My heart is unbreakable
My faith is strong
There is always enough
There is always more
There is always... all ways
Plentiful is my life and Bountiful are my blessings
Thank you Gods (all of 'em) for our gifts, revealed to us at the perfect moment, the perfect fit for our needs/wants/desires/requests
I am worthy, he is worthy, we are worthy, YOU are worthy
Thank me for me, for constant re-creation & recreation

I dance and I dance...
for I am the Lord of my Dance says me
to be continually continued...

P.S. I can't wait to see my new home and my new volvo and my new LOVE!! yay me!!

The Gifts of 2006

Tough to make an inclusive list of my gifts this year, so I'll do some highlights:
Hannah - the girl who made me a mommy and the girl who showed me the mommy possible within me; the girl I'll miss every single day the rest of my life.
Hayden - the boy who wanted nothing more than his mommy's full attention now has it and through him, my mothering evolution continues.
The Unschool Community - those who inspire me with their wisdom every day, with their shared stories and inspiration; the gifts of support, love and gratitude that continue to pour into our lives (ah, the computer, the quilt, the flowers, the words, the gifts, the music...)
My Friends who should be Family - the whole lot of you people who come one by one into my universe, showing me not only who I am but better still, whom I can be; for those who have come to me for the first time, those who have always been here and those who have returned: I'm so glad we're here together.
Live and Learn - what would I do without this commune? I don't wanna know, I don't even want to imagine... Kelly Lovejoy, your gift to our world is immeasurable.
Bemidji - the lake forest utopia (complete with amazing unschoolers) comforting, healing and accepting place for my entire family. Not to mention the place I got my latest tattoo :)
ABQ - What a great healing city, filled with my favoritest unschoolers ever, the aaaaaahhhhhh of a wood burning hottub, falling in love, and the desert residing prairie dogs.
Corvallis - Really, what could be better than Fair Trade, Organic coffee with Unschoolers for company? Okay it's coffee, unschoolers, challa and LOVE!
Rapid City - Once thought of as a terrifically conservative place filled with haunting Hannah memories is now a place of comfort and love, filled with new happy memories of me and the Boy.
My crazy family - nothing in the world makes me feel more normal than my functionally disfunctional family members. If they weren't who they are, I certainly wouldn't be who *I* am.
Kar Karma God - From Hermione Honda to the amazing Loaner Windstar to our New Year beginning with Howard Honda.
Art - the inspiration to express myself through the tiny (ha!) world of ATCs and to share said inspiration with others; my beading expertise and my luck and finding just the right design for the moment.
Music - From Amy Steinberg for inspiration, to Danny Schmidt for my theme song, to the peek into others' unschooling lives via Imagination Tribe soundtracks.
Media - From Elizabethtown to The Secret, my world is a'rockin!
....I know there's more, I know there are gifts I've yet to open who's seeds have been planted in 2006 and will bloom in 2007.
So dear reader, thank you for being here, for tolerating my diatribe and for contributing to making my world a much better place.

random thoughts from the forest

*I'm thinking, after finding a 5 year old journal of mine, that I may have some vested interest in my relationship conflicts with Hayden. yeah, yeah, yeah Tigers hate Monkeys which has been my unfortunate mantra with the boy, since conception. What I've come to realize (thanks Marty and Madelyn) that yeah, the chittering, bouncing monkey can be incredibly annoying to the introspective, pondering tiger... doesn't mean either have to be pissed off, doesn't mean there can't be an amicable relationship; just means there is no wrong in this combination, just means we gotta figure out how the monkey and the tiger can make this work. So the monkey inspires the tiger to be more free-spirited and the tiger inspires the monkey to slow down and think. hmmmm
*We're moving, we're awaiting our new home to appear, wherever that may be... we already give our thanks for the next perfect place for us to be.
*I am patient. I am the kind of friend who can await my loved ones emergence from cocoon time. On their own schedules.
*Snow in the forest is beautiful. Thank you Hayden for bringing me here to enjoy it (thanks for conjuring it!!)
*I am the alpha and the omega. Not only as a mommy, but as diana, in my entire existence and experience of this Life.

Holy Holydays!

aaahhhh! So glad the craziness of Xmas is over... and yet, any kind of ending makes me sad...

just about anything can make me sad at this point, though, so it's not to be taken terribly seriously, which is sad in itself...
I'm bleeding, so I'm prone to crying...
My kid died, so I'm prone to crying...
I carry XX, so I'm prone to crying...
I'm all the fuck alone, I'm SO prone to crying...
I need sleep, so I'm prone to crying...
...gonna go work on that one, it seems to be the only one on the list fixable

Nani's Cloud

Get your cloud here

So as to be less disruptive to others...

Gemini - 12/23/06 - You can talk about intense issues now in a way that others won't find threatening. Nevertheless, you might not know when to quit and could push your opinions too vehemently. It's fortunate that your charm is working so well now, for you just might need it to smooth over the feathers you could inadvertently ruffle. Calming your own anxiety first can help you be less disruptive to everyone else.

Merry Winter!

It's the first full day of Winter. Another new season. The Wheel keeps turning. At promptly 6:22 pm, I welcomed the returning Sun with a Chas'-new-house full o'people in Vermilion by lighting a candle in my Solstice Angel holder. We got her last year and I'm so glad to continue the ritual with her and my real-life angel. I brought tall glass vigil candles, which we decorated individually for our ritual. Food was great, company was amazing! Hayden made immediate friends with Owen, whom we will be returning to Vermilion to spend more time with!! We created circle with my favorite invocation ;), we went round the circle and welcomed others into our circle with us in Spirit. We took turns lighting our candles from the Source we lit at the moment of Winter's onset. We then spoke of where our Light will cast out shadows in the coming year.
There were countless 'round the kitchen counter and out on the deck and in the garage wisdom sharing and witty conversation. Enlightenment was the theme ::g::
This morning we had breakfast with Chas and Colette (we rode down with Colette's cousin, Karla), then coffee downtown so the boys could meet up for a little bit before the holiday craziness.
We had the ladies soup/gift exchange party tonight. It was much more fun than I imagined. We had Dee, Darla, Donna, Bunnie, Me, DeAnna, Linda, Kelly, Emma, Trisha, Suzy and Karna in it this year, and I've gotta admit the gift caliber was not as sucky as previous years may have been ;) My parents will celebrate their 39th anniversary tomorrow (not so bad for a one night stand!) at the family's Christmas gathering; then more Kraziness at Karna's -- Will be a fun-filled somethin or other!! :)

continuing my courage...

Strength

May courage be your ally.

Deck: Cagliostro

More about this card

My Daily Tarot Reading

card art © US Games

What has traditionally been known as the Strength card represents Nature which, however wild in its primal form, is tamed by our subtler, finer (feminine, interior) self. The will and passion of our instinctive nature does not need to be broken, but refined and brought to consciousness -- so that all levels of Creation, inner and outer, may come into harmony.

The feminine soul-force contains a persuasive power that can nurture and induce cooperation from others, stilling disruptive energies by harmonizing differences in the spirit of collective good will.