Today's Stars

Diana's Horoscope: ...You may be running tapes through your mind about issues at home, about your feelings, or about memories from your past. Unless you can keep your mind away from personal issues, you may as well take the afternoon off.

But that's always true!

Well put me over the barrel and gimme the pickle!

Ya know, sometimes Life just sucks... and worse yet, I can see the why it sucks and how easily it could unsuck in one place, but I have can't yet see the possibilities of Life unsucking all the way around. And it's a car. But it's the brakes, they're important ya see, and, unfortunately for me, expensive. I kinda need 'em to get home, but if I buy 'em I can't get home. I can take the car to another place, but I'm gonna have to pay that savings (praying the 2nd place is cheaper) to the first mechanic for his time already spent investigating my brake situation. The lady called, as I talked to her I ate a fortune cookie: Your sly nature will get you out of a tight spot. I gave her the sob story: it's fix the car and be stranded or don't fix the car and pray we make it home. The price did miraculously drop by almost $80 overnight, maybe Greg will decide he doesn't need to make any money off the sad girl this year. Even at cost brakes are a PITA, but c'mon, I'm good Karma :) I *can* stay here, I can figure out a way to make the next cupola weeks easier to be here and that's a big possibility. It really is beautiful and magical here (the sun just came out as I'm typing - yay!!) That would mean we won't be home for Mitch's Death Day (which actually now sounds appealing...), nor the biggies like the women's retreat *I* scheduled, nor our first Full Moon Circle; oh yeah Thanksgiving falls in there, but the idea of quiet nothing sounds appealing there, too.
It's just one of those days when being the grown up just fucking sucks.
Hm, it's funny that I sit and worry about Hayden through all of this and I remember the talk I got from Marty and Madelyn... Hayden will be Hayden in whatever context Life doles out, it's best to parent in a way that keeps us open to one another and in a way that feels good, not to take his frustration personally while I'm striving to provide the tools for him to alleviate his angst (all the while striving to minimize my cause of said angst). It was an "on the right track, mama" with a great shift to an objective perspective. (If I may summarize... it was pretty powerful to listen to their take on the Hayden/diana situation; they were honest and open, direct, I'd even say hardcore!)

Delirious Dreams

Last night I fitfully dreamt, as I tossed and turned wrapped in Hayden's Aunt Karna woobie.
I remember cursing at the gods, convincing them that I stand before them NOT as their own personal plaything, but as a flesh-and-blood human being and by-golly my feelings count! I threatened to become atheist, worse yet faithless, turning my back on them, not only firing them from their jobs, but eliminating the position entirely, casting them into nonexistence (even worse than Neil Gaiman's American Gods). I don't know if they reacted (sumbitches!), but I felt empty, not even able to cry. But with bizarre insight and clear vision -- Focus. Always an unfocused focus, clarity and no where to cast it. Kinda like at the hands of the schoolyard bullies I was intimately familiar with... ooooh, now there's some psychotherapy waiting to happen!
Can we say RETROGRADE? Danggummit, I'm really feeling it.
I got no gumption. I got no spark. Blech.
Apathy, my worst enemy.

On an upnote, Hayden came in later and snuggled with me (with Hannah's woobie!).

I read in my new Woman's Confidence book from Kelli - it's one of those open anywhere for Wisdom books - the woman spoke of forgiving her Past Self, the one who's behavior makes her cringe upon reflection. She imagined that Past Self cowering in shame for causing such pain to her now Present Self. None of what had happened was with malicious intent toward our Future Self (though some might have existed right there for the current Present Self). When we hold that message in our hearts and come to know and own Who We Are Now as a beautiful culmination of our Past Selves. Life really is For Giving and BEing forgiving, especially to ourselves. If I'm not on my own Team, who else will wanna be?

Ah, part of this was sparked, I'm sure, by a new blog Mary found: PostSecret.blogspot.com, it's odd and cool and disturbing and creative. I think I want to do some Secret ATCs, just for me to keep or share with others, secretly.


Life is so random.


'cept when it's not.

I guess Sandra was right...

good thing I'm off the alcoholic pathway:

diana lea jenner: At age 42 you will die from wounds delivered by a blender after trying to make your sixteenth margarita of the day.
(And it's only 3:00pm, shame on you!)

Our AMAZING Concert Experience!!

Totally worth the drive!! Just to hear the opening band ::bg:: To hear those pretty, pretty English boys (starsailor) sing unintelligibly until this unforgettable opening line: Doncha know you have your daddy's eyes... daddy was an alcoholic
Mary and I were first brought to tears by the touching beginning... then the next line, we were laughing so hard tears were once again filling our eyes!! I bought their album (which came with a free tee shirt) and we stood in line, giggling uncontrollably, to get their autographs... ooooohhhh they were even prettier up close!! Bass guitar player-dude looks EXACTLY like a young, hip, 21st Century Paul McCartney!! I asked about the song, but I think they wrote me off as some strange old giggling woman, but told me that song is not on the album I bought, but on the one titled: loveaseal, love-a-seal? no, loveaseal, by then I was back to giggling so hard and they were all making fun of my mislistening and the moment was gone... the song is playable on their page, it's called Alcoholic, hee hee hee...
Then, of course, out came James Blunt... the most amazing musician I didn't know existed ('cept I love, love, love the Weird Al parody and the accompanying story of music industry angst). I witnessed a real guy, one with scars and scabs, who still has faith in humanity and loves Life. His songs are anti-war and pro-woman... what more can a girl want? maybe james blunt in her bed and the rest of her life, too :) He needs me... someone let him know!
Oh yeah, the dancing monkey icons turn me on, too, 'specially since they're wearing crowns, awaiting their Monkey Queen ::g::

I made it!!

We're here!! I'm aaaahhhh-ing after my whole first day with the Zenmomma :) Life is GOOD!! (dangit, I didn't bring those socks!) The trip has already been wild and busy and all of that diana schtuff -- and yet it seems to be just beginning.
Hayden was happy and excited to see me on Friday, what a treat! I got to bring some Kathleen Coffee to Karen, so the first leg of the trip was aromatically pleasing! We had a great time hanging out in Rapid, we even did the MALL ::gasp:: AND had fun ::GASP!:: We got started later than I had planned, but the sleep and the morning with my happy, happy son were well worth it! We had a late morning trip to Hobby Lobby (they open at 9 am, in case you're wondering) to stock up on SpongeBob art supplies.
The second leg of the trip was the big chunk, 14 hours to Boise, ID! We didn't quite make that on my mind's itinerary, either, but that was all perfect timing... when we awoke from our rest stop nap, we drove under/through the most amazingly beautiful full-spectrum rainbow!! I called Kyra immediately, as the three of us saw more rainbows on the SW Tour than any other combination of folks; it was like she was with us in Spirit!
In Wyoming (to whom I owe an emphatic apology, it's not a horrifically ugly nor boring state, up north!) I got close to Little Big Horn. I got off the freeway, thinking I'd go to the site, but I just couldn't do it... so I released Hannah to the Spirit Winds and wished her presence to bring great peace to the Grandfathers still there. Sad reminder of how far we've not yet traveled in our evolution as Humans.
While in Montana, I crossed the Crazy Woman Creek (what a great mental image: me, the crazy woman for whom the creek is named) and the Tongue River (should they have met, mayhap the lady'd not be so crazy??), then we crossed the Bear Tooth Ridge. We drove through the northern part of Yellowstone, under the light of a nearly-full moon and shared some Hannah; we talked of the mountains, of living here, of the wildlife we didn't see and why that is, of loving the Earth as our Mother, of honoring the ebbs and flows of Life, of reintroduction of wolves to the wild, of keeping a wolf as a pet (and the natural follow up of Spirit Crushing and our societal ways of doing that to our young), of life on other planets, of the meaning of Smart, of the limitless possibilities of being human...
We finally made it to Boise on Sunday Morning and hung out with Big Joe and Dezmo all day. What a cool experience to see my long time friend as a parent, as a loving and *present* parent to his beautiful son! We reminisced and caught up, we played with the boys and talked our truths. It was most fun to hear Dez share stories of his daddy, Joe's pretty cool in my eyes anyway, but even more special through the eyes of a loving and whole 4 year old.
We left for Corvallis (guess when? yep, later than I thought), looking forward to the short and sweet 8 hour final leg of the journey. I trusted Mapquest, which kinda bit me in the ass! It was all well and good, until the very last mountain I had to climb before descending upon the Golds... Steep, Slow, Scary, Foggy, Rainy & Windy! About 80 miles of 30 mph on a road from which there is no escape, no pulling over and napping, no cell service to even cry to my friends!! At one point the clouds broke, I was on a relatively flat spot, the beauty was breathtaking, so I left some Hannah there, too. I FINALLY made it to flatlands, knowing that indeed, I am capable of anything!! We arrived safe and sound late last night, only to promptly pass out!
Today I got to have breakfast at the infamous Sunnyside Up! yummy, yummy, yummy! Since we've got an in with the owner ;) he even came over to hang out with us and watch us eat our perfectly crisp bacon with our organic eggs and perfectly seasoned taters. Oh yeah, I had a wonderful mocha, followed by an amazing regular cup o'coffee! yessirree, won't be having those Constipated Traveller Blues ANYmore!! ::g::
Oh yeah, you should all know that Mary cooked dinner tonight.
I got to meet Donna and see Joni :) and we watched Donnie Darko - a must see! (though not the director's cut, the original was awesome and I trust Mary's comparison) Run out and pick it up now!! (when you're done voting, of course!)
Tomorrow's the concert in Portland... Hayden's gonna have a blast picking Jon's brain about the Smoothie Shop plans ::bg::

Voting is Smart!

Boy Howdy! I get on the 'net only to discover that I have cast a Stupid Vote! Dang! What the hell was I thinking? Apparently, Bill doesn't think I think attall and I'm just not sure how I feel about that...
Ah, but I gots my smarts back long enough to google his name and Of Course Bill thinks I'm an ijit, I didn't support his Amendment! Looks like you didn't do your job Mr. Stegmeier, I haven't heard a single thing positive about said Amendment E, the Good News of your proposal didn't quite make it under my rock. Here's the thing, I am pretty intelligent and I did read what was on the ballot and I did vote. Stupid? I don't think so.
To the three readers I have, if you happen to live in South Dakota and you're on your way to vote, please don't vote like I did because of me, vote like YOU do because of YOU... it's your right as an American and more importantly, it's your responsibility as an American. (I guess there's four of you now, if Bill keeps reading ::g::)
P.S. How and why did you find me??

Vacation Day 1

What a great day to begin our next adventure! I'm Ready!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20) You are envisioning your life in ways that you've not previously imagined. It is an extraordinary kind of day and the most amazing part is that you just might get away with the craziest schemes. Unfortunately, you could push everything too far and then have to deal with the consequences. But if you pay attention to the details, trying something new could bring surprisingly positive results.

General Daily Overview The enterprising Aries Moon reminds us of all the possible experiences ahead and we are energized by uncontrollable rushes of adrenaline. Additionally, the Sun creates a harmonious trine aspect with brilliant Uranus today and we can feel the electricity in the air. We may be certain that something wonderful is going to happen, but we don't yet know what it is. We are encouraged to act with originality and initiate unconventional activities.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hmmm

David's Building

Drive down Grange today and see an incredible sight! Either you'll get to see the ginormous former Art Building up on a truck or you'll get to see the ginormous hole left by the building that was taken away on a truck! We'll have an unobstructed view of the Mammoth! The building, which was once Army Barracks was purchased for $1, and is on it's way to David's The Warren Studios, the art retreat center of his dreams (which sadly has a miserable webpage...) sort of down that-a-way towards Dell Rapids with a turn towards Garretson.
He saw me naked in that building. A lot. The first time we met. hee hee. I do like that there's lots of me all over the place and all of the time. He should think of me often and fondly. If he thought he'd like to see me naked again, that can be discussed. hmmm.
I wish I had my camera with me when I drove by today.
ah! thankfully the Argus Leader was on hand for moving day:






Then I'm reminded of the zip feed fiasco, which was all too hilarious as only we humans in Souf'akota can do it! I should go take pictures of what's happening there, too. Something else is being built there, something I'm sure that will be a new kind of eyesore, replacing the old one.

for what it's worth, I was never naked in the Zip Feed building -- Darn!

My Voice Counts!

Today I voted. Today I thoughtfully read each option. Today I exercised my right as an American. I am proud to live where my voice can be heard (the electoral college notwithstanding, but alas, another time). I want to document how I voted, I want to revisit my choices as time passes. I want to remember where I am today. Today is the Day of the Dead. I brought Mitch and Hannah with me today. (ah, the last time he voted, another funny story for another time)
The Ballot in District 13, Minnehaha County, Sioux Falls, SD, 2006 is HUGE! Lots of that whirly swirly change possible right here, right now...
United States Representative
Stephanie Herseth, incumbent
She received my vote last time, too. She's a free thinker who doesn't judge ideas based on their party origin; she seeks its merit. She's linked to the Ds, but she's more conservative, more my kinda Goldwater girl ::bg::
Governor and Lieutenant Governor
Jack Billion and Eric Abrahamson
Jack is just an all-around good guy. He gives off good vibes, he drinks good (local) coffee, he believes the 4th amendment applies to women equally, he wants to eliminate our status as the lowest wage state in the Union (including PR). Jack is all over YouTube, if you wanna check him out... he does look like the Orek vacuum cleaner guy! And face it, I Back Jack is just a really cool slogan!
Secretary of State
I abstained
I didn't vote, there's only one guy running and I didn't know him... how freaking sad is that? Are we *really* that apathetic? Does the job suck that much that only one person in this entire state wants it? I don't know if I want to know, ya know?
Attorney General
Ron Volesky
Okay, I admit it, 'cause he's a D :::sigh:::
State Auditor
State Treasurer
I abstained
(see rant under Secretary of State)
Commissioner of School and Public Lands
Bryce Healy
really? cause he doesn't give me the willies and Jarrod does; I don't think the "good ol' boys" have done very much for this state's evolution, I can't vote for one. Sorry, I didn't even know the Libertarian Candidate, though I was glad to see her on the ballot.
Public Utilities Commissioner
John Koskan
In his commercial, he talks about wind power. There are windmills on his campaign page and though I'm torn about the ethanol issue, methinks the wind energy development overshadows that one, right now.
State Senator
Scott Heidepriem
I like his "let's get back to work" slogan. He doesn't creep me. (some politicians just give off a big ol' creepy guy factor)
State Representative
(District 13) Brian Liss
(I abstained my second choice) Brian's a way cool guy. He was my very favorite Valentine's Date ever! We've always had lively discussions, I know that in all the ways we differ, we do so intelligently and respectfully. He's wrong ::g:: but his heart's in the right place! On the really important stuff, however, we strongly agree, though for very different reasons. He'll always get my vote, I'll always know I'm voting for someone thoughtful and smart.
Supreme Court Justice Retention and Circuit Courts
This part smacked me. I didn't know anything at all about these judges, I realized I hadn't done my homework at all. It was a bizarre ballot thing anyway: it had the Justice's name and the voter indicates if the person should be retained on the Supreme Court. I don't know what happens if I vote no... do we then vote again for a whole new SC? Then there were the ones whom it seemed just wanted to keep their judge job in whatever circuit court. Is there no one brave enough to challenge them? Okay, a couple of seats have competition, but I was seriously lacking in understanding and preparation and we're talking about 1.5 columns on a longer-than-legal sized ballot! So I said yes to our current Supreme Court... I abstained if only one judge was running, with the exception of Peter Lieberman, he's got a great reputation for being gruff and fair.
Constitutional Amendment C
Marriage Amendment - No. The passing of Amendment C would amend the Constitution to allow and recognize marriage only between a male and female. It would also prohibit the allowance or recognition of civil unions, domestic partnerships or other (gotta love this!) quasi-marital relationships between two or more persons regardless of sex (I think they mean gender!)
I gotta go off on this one... showing my incredibly liberal conservative side, as only I can... First, you should come to recognize that in my mind, anytime I see the word Man, especially as it relates to any legal documentation, I see this: 'man, as in: they're too lazy to write hu- every time. 'man is shorthand for human, see? So in that light (that's why they call it enlightenment!), the American Rights Guarantee, aka our historic legal principles on which this fine country was founded, is already set up to be as blind as Justice. There is should be NO distinction based on skin color nor genetic code nor bedpartner, the Constitution is applied equally to all the members of our union. period. We just plain shouldn't need gender or skin color amendments to our constitution, certainly our sex life is protected by the 4th amendment, it's already there without it. What we need to focus on is on electing those who are willing to do their job as blindly as they're supposed to. It's on us folks. Vote!
Constitutional Amendment D
Property Tax Change - No - it wants to change our easy to understand, unilateral tax system to some willy-nilly form... uh, don't think so.
Constitutional Amendment E
Sue your Jury - No This one doesn't quite make sense to me... you make a decision as a jury based on evidence at hand, the appeal is won and now you're in court for wrongful whatever and you've gotta pay damages, out of any account, including your retirement it seems. eek! It's quite hard enough to get rational folks to sit on a jury, who do ya thinks gonna show up ready and willing now?
Constitutional Amendment F
Yes - I don't know about eliminating the limitation of expense reimbursements for legislators, but they stuck it together with limiting the legislation's ability to enact special laws and removal of congressional term limits (voting IS term limits!!), prohibiting closed door vote sessions (which we're known for) and give legislature emergency powers in event of disasters (which scares me in that *V* for Vendetta kind of way... which powers? which disasters: real or implied or just plain imaginary?)
Initiated Measure 2
Tobacco Tax - NO The state cannot have vested interest in the death and ill-being of it's citizens. We cannot be committed to South Dakotans Quit AND be reliant upon the tax revenue from same-said folks. The State should be committed to our health and not profiting from our destruction.
Initiated Measure 3
School Term Start - I abstained What a freaking waste of my time... I just can't believe this is on the freaking BALLOT!?!? People put their energy, time and money into when the school term begins? holy cow! Who really needs a law, a freaking LAW to state if it's okay to start school before September 1?? If you don't want your kid there before September 1, don't send 'em!! Go on vacation instead! In fact, the first weekend after Labor Day, come on out to the Live and Learn Conference and learn why you, too, should say goodbye to School in your Life!!
Initiated Measure 4
Medical Marijuana - YES! Certified for 6 plants and up to an oz for medical reasons. Regardless of how I feel about recreational use of cannabis, I can't imagine anyone who knows Mitch's tale would deny us freedom from prosecution (and persecution) for the only medicine that worked for his radiation induced anorexia and his chemotherapy induced nausea, not to mention his situation being appropriate for an opportunity for some escape from reality, and pain relief from headaches, this specific treatment indeed was recommended by his specialists at the Mayo Clinic.
There's also this whole part of me that despises pharmaceutical companies in America. I hate that thousands of children are on medication to dull their Spark for Life and I think it's dangerous and scary and I wish it were up to me, the voter, to decide if that should be allowed... but alas it isn't here and I'm deep down glad for it... it's right back to the 4th amendment and Privacy again... ain't nobody's business if ya do! So it sure ain't yours if I do!
Initiated Measure 5
Restrictions on State's aircraft - No I was yes until I saw that violations would now be subject to civil and criminal penalties. ick! More lawyers gettin rich cause my friend the governor flew me out to see my dying grandma on the state plane. Doesn't seem right in my heart.
Initiated Measure 7
Repeal Video Lottery - Yes Sorry dad, looks like you may have to drive to Flandreau for your fun from now on. Again, it goes back to vested interest by the State. Should the state be investing in keeping folks drunk and broke? I'm thinking no. And the promises made for the huge boost in education dollars? We're still 51st and our citizens are still broke.
Initiated Measure 8
Repeal Telecommunications Tax - Yes Dang! it looks like I'm all in favor of cutting off big income to our state's budget, yikes! Anyway, I think it sucks to pay huge fees on my cell phone, on my house phone too for that matter... everyone thinks they're entitled to a certain percentage of my talking bill and it just sucks. So yeah, I'd like to keep your bloodsucking 4% as my own, thanks.
Referred Law 6
The Big One! Are women in South Dakota too stupid to understand their guaranteed 4th Amendment right to privacy? NO! There it is folks, that's all it is. Some might call this the Abortion Law, but I think the A word distorts the point. The point is that the Constitution is mine. As a human being who happens to be an American Citizen, that's it. What I do with my doctor is my business as it is yours and yours and yours and even yours. When you freely give up your rights to your government, what is stopping them from taking the rest while you sleep?