Climbing out from under...

It's an uncomfortable process. Not that it's bad. Maybe in the *giving birth* kinda scary uncomfortable; alike in the pain with purpose ideal. Being responsible is a big job. And, honestly, I'm good at it when I'm present with it. When I don't let the choir of resentment and bullshit stand in the way. I've done amazing things with far less cash; with far more intention. I've been joyful in the midst of worse circumstance.
I'm working next weekend as Dish Wench to pay for therapy. The job itself is what I like to call Paid Meditation. With water even. And the joy of fulfilling purpose. A creation of instant gratitude. I dig being Dish Wench. I now especially dig the thought of talking to someone. Someone who's gonna tell my Ego to leave the room, so the work can be done. Someone with whom I get to practice and strengthen my ability to remove Ego from the equation and get down to the business of living in the Now in a real and powerful way. It's just enough hocus-pocus I feel I'll not be judged and it's enough ass-kickin' I won't be able to hide. And, well, as a Dutch fellow, I feel a strange connection, like having my ass lovingly kicked by my Grandpa Tilstra. I got the support workbook, to reinforce thought clarity through writing. And it helps.
And throw in some Byron Katie and her questions and turnarounds...
As I'm breathing deep, reveling in all I am grateful for, I realize the air sure smells better now...