A friend recently described herself as feeling "punchy" I wondered, only momentarily what that means... as suddenly I'm feeling a bit "punchy" myself! Is it the planetary alignment or lack thereof? Is it the waning moon bringing on yet another egg? Does it affect men directly or are they merely responding to the emotional effect it has on us women?
Last night, J was flipping thru the channels and settled upon Scary Movie; Hayden was fine for a few minutes, but did begin to panic about the time the girl faked death for the third time and the TV static began... Jeremy had no idea Hayden's background with this movie, nor The Ring (both horribly freaked him out!!) (not to mention that he may be just a bit sensitive to jokes about death at this point in his life!!) but the terror in the little boy's voice as he demanded the channel be changed was clear - to me. I wanted to shepherd him out of the house and he just wanted Jeremy to turn the channel, he didn't want to leave, he wanted to trust his friend to take away what was freaking him out; Jeremy wanted him to "ask nicely" for the channel to be changed and by golly he was gonna stand his ground! He eventually turned the channel, but not until things escalated into Hayden sobbing on the stairs, and he did so resentfully, grumbling about MY house and MY tv and teaching him manners and all this unschooling bullshit... I gave a mama bear low warning growl, Hey! it's my kid, a real-live being far more important than a movie. Soon the TV settled on Family Guy and the two boys were getting along again, but Jeremy still glowered at me from the corner...
After a really cool weekend, where he was incredibly supportive, his response was shocking and hurtful... I don't want to take it personally, I want to explain, eh, but I talk too damn much the way it is...
Walk the walk, if I want others to be more respectful of my kid, then I need to step up and model it. People -not things- are what's important in life. I'm glad he still knows he can count on me, but damn! grown-ups should be just that: Grown-Ups and stop the pissing matches with the young'n's - there's no easier nor quicker way to hurtin' a mama's heart. Aarrgghh!! :^p~~~~
I'm gonna be a great juggler someday.
Last night, J was flipping thru the channels and settled upon Scary Movie; Hayden was fine for a few minutes, but did begin to panic about the time the girl faked death for the third time and the TV static began... Jeremy had no idea Hayden's background with this movie, nor The Ring (both horribly freaked him out!!) (not to mention that he may be just a bit sensitive to jokes about death at this point in his life!!) but the terror in the little boy's voice as he demanded the channel be changed was clear - to me. I wanted to shepherd him out of the house and he just wanted Jeremy to turn the channel, he didn't want to leave, he wanted to trust his friend to take away what was freaking him out; Jeremy wanted him to "ask nicely" for the channel to be changed and by golly he was gonna stand his ground! He eventually turned the channel, but not until things escalated into Hayden sobbing on the stairs, and he did so resentfully, grumbling about MY house and MY tv and teaching him manners and all this unschooling bullshit... I gave a mama bear low warning growl, Hey! it's my kid, a real-live being far more important than a movie. Soon the TV settled on Family Guy and the two boys were getting along again, but Jeremy still glowered at me from the corner...
After a really cool weekend, where he was incredibly supportive, his response was shocking and hurtful... I don't want to take it personally, I want to explain, eh, but I talk too damn much the way it is...
Walk the walk, if I want others to be more respectful of my kid, then I need to step up and model it. People -not things- are what's important in life. I'm glad he still knows he can count on me, but damn! grown-ups should be just that: Grown-Ups and stop the pissing matches with the young'n's - there's no easier nor quicker way to hurtin' a mama's heart. Aarrgghh!! :^p~~~~
I'm gonna be a great juggler someday.
1 comment:
I know a quick response is *compromise* and *allow* Jeremy to institute his own RULES about his space that Hayden & I will learn to accept/respect by virtue of being in relationship with him... I know it seems hardheaded to think so, but honoring principles is far more in line with our life than arbitrary rules (which we are working diligently to keep out of our every day existence!). So, if Jeremy's working out of the RULE that big humans are more important than small ones, then I'm not willing to compromise on that AT ALL! It is completely out of line with our family's principle of the inherent worth and dignity of every human being. A perspective shift to the principles of Safety and Trust, Jeremy needs to know that what happened was Hayden was Trusting him to keep him Safe -- that didn't happen. Both Hayden's (emotional) Safety and his Trust of Jeremy were impeached... it may seem like a small ding, but the dings all add up to be a huge dent, impossible to pull out and be "good as new."
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